Pesadelos Noturnos

I paid twenty-five pence for this and still feel ripped off. I only bought it because my kids had already chosen three films and you get four for a pound in Cash Generators (certain branches only). I was also curious to see what the fuss is about Soledad Miranda, only to spend most of the running time wondering why the main lady prancing about and mumbling looked nothing like the girl on the cover.

Turns out Jess Franco has pulled a Godfrey Ho on us and spliced two films together, one of which contains Soledad (and her arse) hanging around an attic somewhere talking crap while the other concerns a psychotic stripper who keeps dreaming of killing people while having a relationship with a naughty lady in a big mansion. She also spends most of the film naked, as does most of the people here.

In the hands of a good director (or even a good bad director, like Bruno Mattei) the story of a psychotic stripper who may or may not be killing people while hunting for underwear would make for a hilarious and gory experience, but in the nicotine stained hands of Franco, every scene is drawn out beyond endurance, the whole thing is narrated by the lady in a slightly reverbed voice for extra crapness, and the nudity is probably more likely to bring those Cheese and Onion flavour Aldi crisps back up your throat. One woman's boob looked like a huge celeriac with an unfurled condom sitting on top of it and another looked like she'd been hit between the legs with a bag of soot. And since this is 1970's Europe, everyone looks like they stink.

Yet another winner from Franco then! Love the fact that during her strip scene, the lady narrates that her boss told her to make it seem like it went on forever and to be a slow as possible. Consider your job done, missus!

Although the packaging for Nightmares Come At Night promotes Soledad Miranda as its star, it is Diana Lorys who takes centre stage as Anna de Istria, a stripper who is seduced by Cynthia Robins (Colette Giacobine), a mysterious blonde who frequents her show. After being lured to Cynthia's home, Anna suffers a series of nightmares in which she sees herself committing murder, but despite help from her doctor, Paul Lucas (Paul Muller), she gradually begins to lose all grip on reality.

Recently rediscovered and never before released: so says the blurb on my DVD box for this erotic horror from prolific director Jess Franco. It's a statement that begs the question 'why did some idiot have to go and find the bloody thing?' because Nightmares Come At Night could have lain undiscovered for an eternity, and I couldn't have cared less: it's Franco at his most illogical, incomprehensible, and frustrating.

The director takes a rather promising premise, packs it with quality naked Euro totty from start to finish, yet still somehow manages to produce a finished product that has the ability to make one's eyelids feel as though they have lead weights sewn into them, and as usual, his directorial style can be described charitably as 'unique', although I prefer the adjective 'crap' (this guy even shoves manic zooms into his opening credits!!!). Franco's story is extremely weak, and is merely a lame excuse to get his leading ladies to take their clothes off (although he can't even get this right: he has Anna partake in the most boring strip show to ever be captured on film).

My version of this film was badly dubbed, something for which I suppose I should be grateful: I laughed a few times at the terrible dub track, and shudder to think how stupefyingly dull the film might have been without these unintentional moments of light relief. In fact, the highlight of the film for me was when the doctor uttered these words to Anna: 'you are a naughty little girl who, with a twitch of her magic stick, can transform her into a pink little pig or a stout and ugly black toad'. Whether this is an accurate translation I don't know (and what the hell it means is anyone's guess), but at least it made me chuckle! About the only other element worthy of note is the score, which lends a suitably grubby vibe and wouldn't be out of place playing in any sleazy 70s euro nightclub.

There are those who have described this film as 'dreamlike'; my guess is that these viewers actually fell asleep whilst watching and dreamt of something far more interesting without realising.

Well some argue this movie is a nightmare and they have quite the reasonable case to make. This is sleazy and dirty and I would totally understand if you are rating this way lower than I already have. Saying that, I also would understand if your taste would be different and you are into the nudity and the craziness presented here.

Filthy dreams and nightmares and things that may or may not happen during nighttime. The fact that you most likely won't care about the line between dreams and reality is something that either is working for you or annoys the hell out of you ... your choice or preference of course matters

Dreary erotic thriller from Jess Franco, with Soledad Miranda wasted in a tiny role as the girlfriend of a jewel thief waiting for his share of a robbery cut. Main story has to do with a psychotic stripper under the hypnotic influence of the woman in charge of the jewel heist who uses the stripper to kill off the rest of the gang. Film is intriguingly told, with a nice bit of poetic voice-over narration by the protagonist, but visually the film is completely uninteresting, as are the two main characters, despite their usually appearing naked. Miranda's performance and appearance is the sole jewel in a film wherein even the attempted erotic sequences are boring. DVD's only other appeal is a neat new interview with Franco about this film and about Miranda.

Two exotic dancers embark on a erotic friendship which takes a turn when one of them begins having recurring nightmares of her killing people in which the line between realty and fantasy begins to blur to the most extreme.

Maybe I was let down because the film has some terrible dubbing, but if the words they say are accurate, this is an awful story. Such pointless dialogue, and no real plot. The film seems to revolve around showing a woman naked repeatedly, while she may or may not be crazy.

Further, I am told this movie is actually two unfinished movies sort of edited together. Normally that would never work, but with a Jess Franco film, you can hardly say it is even much worse than his usual stuff. Sadly, this may be the worst of his films I have seen.