Hercules in New York

Ha! This is hilarious. Arnold Schwarzenegger - going by the name of "Strong" on the titles, is the demigod son of Zeus (Ernest Graves) and he's bored hanging around Olympus keeping out of trouble. Finally his father loses his temper, hurls a thunder bolt at him and he ends up down on earth befriending the weedy "Pretzie" (Arnold Stang doing a vaguely Phil Silvers impersonation) and getting involved with some crooks who see his might as a meal ticket. What now ensues is just harmless, witless, fun with a confused mythology - Roman and Greek names for the gods are interchangeable; an Olympus that looks like the herb garden of an English stately home and luckily Arnie doesn't have to wrestle with ancient Greek, just with 1970s English. There can't have been much budget so don't be looking for visual effects or a tangy script - nope, none of that, just the future Governor of California looking almost cherubic in his spray-on shorts demonstrating the truthful nature of the American dream. Anyone can make it, however humble the beginnings.

If I feel down, all I need to do is think of Arnie fighting the grizzly bear in Hercules in New York and it cracks me up. The grizzly bear is actually just some big guy wearing a Halloween costume, he even moves like a human. But thats not the silliest scene. Arnold also fights a group of sailors with a plank and throws them in the sea, the sound effects and horrible choreography in that scene is hilarious. I've got the version of this movie with Arnies real voice, and just hearing that makes this movie worth getting. But Arnold is not the worst actor in this movie, his partner, Arnold Stang is much worse. The Mafia is even this movie, well, three guys...played by actors who probably auditioned for The Godfather but didn't make it. Yeeeaaahhhh....

The "brilliant" theme song in this movie is played about 500 times.

I would give this movie a one, but it made me laugh...so I guess it deserves a 2. Hoo-Ya.

Wow, this movie has to be seen to be believed! I can't believe that Arnold "Pretzie" Stang was overlooked AGAIN by the Academy! A finer piece of work I have not seen! Except perhaps by that guy in the bear suit. Now that was some great acting as well.

Of course, this is all from the perspective of being drunk, which is what you would have to be to like this movie! :P

That scene is by far the funniest yet horrible scene in film legacy. Arnold is in a chariot with his date when somehow a bear is on the loose in Central Park. For no apparent reason he runs off to fight it. They cut to the bear, And it stands up. Clearly, you can imagine the trainer behind the camera saying "BEAR UP" and it stands up. Now when Arnold fights the bear, It is a man in a costume which looks like it was purchased in Harlem. The back of the mans neck is showing as clear as day while him (the bear) and arnold duke it out. The man is swinging his fists like a MILL. You just cant take your eyes off it. And if you do, you are missing out on the funniest man vs. man (in a animal costume) fight in Film PERIOD.

Over a decade before his movie career exploded and eight years before even Pumping Iron, Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in this cheapie B comedy playing the Greek demigod Hercules, who has been banned from Olympus by Zeus. Schwarzenegger can barely speak a line of coherent English at this point (the film is probably more commonly seen with his performance dubbed, but his original voice is available nowadays). Funny thing is, he's by far the best actor in the picture. Everyone else is just cringe-inducingly awful. The movie as a whole might have actually been watchable, if it weren't for the painfully stereotypical Jew performance by Arnold Stang, who dominates much of it. The film has Schwarzenegger (dubbed Arnold Strong) doing Schwarzenegger-ish activities like weightlifting, throwing cars around and getting into various fights. What would you do if you ran into a 22 year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger and he was annoying you? Start a fight? Well, if you're in this movie, that's what you do. It happens like ten times.