Nunca Beijes um Estranho

Daft remake of STRANGERS ON A TRAIN with glacial Carol Lynley doing a distaff femme fatale take on Robert Walker's classic role. She's disturbed doll-faced Diana, who desires the death of her shrink, who alone realises her malign potential and seeks to have her committed. Fixating on perpetual golf pro runner-up Jerry (stone-faced Paul Burke), she beds the hapless sap and manages to get the admittedly soused sportsman to spout some incriminating pillow talk whilst being unknowingly filmed and recorded by a hidden camera which thereby appears to frame him for his superior golfing rival's subsequent murder as he unwittingly plays into her hands during her switcheroo murder plan pitch. Having held up her end of the bargain (and having purloined both the murder weapon and, as per the original film, a potentially incriminating cigarette lighter which is never flagged up as the classic 'McGuffin' it was in the Hitchcock original, and which both threaten to lead the forces of law and order to his door), the murderous minx now expects him to follow through with his end of the deal but, as Farley Granger found out some twenty years previously, if it isn't bred in the bone the hands will only be used to bash a ball rather than a skull. However, Jerry's reckoning without Diana's in-house editing facility which enables her to overdub the potentially damaging videotape footage (yep, she actually has a video recorder in 1969!) and, with the police circling and madness abroad, the poor dupe has to hack his way out of something more dangerous than the usual sandtrap. Kitsch in the extreme, and lacking all The Master of Suspense's bravura technique and convincing deployment of the transference of guilt theme, this is ultimately an unintentional hoot (especially a climactic dune buggy chase along a beach). Boasting Dayglo cinematography so harsh you almost need sunglasses to watch it, truly atrocious wardrobes (especially for Martha Hyer's estranged wife character) and pointlessly padded out with tedious extended golfing footage, this is really only recommended for true trash mavens as, unlike Ms Lynley's shapely lower limbs, this really hasn't got the legs to follow through on the original classically simple yet intriguing premise ('STRANGERS...' author Patricia Highsmith receives a credit for 'suggesting' the whole concept). Personally, though, I found it a lot of fun.

Paul Burke is a professional golfer who always comes in second to Phillip Carey. He's also got a shaky marriage to Martha Hyer. Carol Lynley is a sociopath who is worried that her aunt and psychiatrist Whit Bissell are going to send her to another insane asylum. So she seduces burke, kills Carey and now expect him to kill Bissell.

In other words, it's a variation of Hitchcock's STRANGERS ON A TRAIN. It's well performed by the cast -- Miss Lynley seems particularly creepy to me since she speaks exactly like a woman I knew; when I mentioned this to a common friend, the friend thought it made a lot of sense. However, despite the addition of sex to the plot, there isn't much added to the story except for color photography.

Bikini beauty Diana is all about the murdering and the gallows humor. Her psychiatrist Dr. Haggis thinks that she's turning into a psychopath. She overhears him planning to lock her up in an institution and wants him dead. She decides to recruit professional golf player Jerry Marshall. She knows that he hates his superior rival Mike Wilson and tells him to kill each other's target. He doesn't take her seriously until she kills Wilson with Jerry's golf club. Now, she expects him to kill her doctor.

The plot is essentially Strangers on a Train. It starts off well enough with crazy Diana. I like that she's a hot and crazy chick. The beach is a perfect place to start the movie. It all goes really well until she gets her kill and the movie passes to Jerry. I don't know anything about Paul Burke. He seems to be a solid veteran character actor who lasted 40 years in Hollywood. He's no pushover but he's not a great leading man either. He needs to be the equal to Carol Lynley. She is so beautiful and has such a crazy role that he can't match her. Every crazy thing she does only serves to separate from him. The movie basically stalls as Diana passes the baton to Jerry. He is not compelling enough to keep the narrative drive.

This uneven variation on Alfred Hithcock's "Strangers On A Train" stays on the right track when its focus is on Carol Lynley: right from her striking Ursula Andress-like entrance from the sea in a tiny bikini, shooting a speargun at a little girl's beach ball (!), she creates a fantastic, psychotic character who taps into the secret male fantasy of being killed by a sexy, strong and crazy woman: it's probably a career-high role for her. Unfortunately, the film gets derailed by much less exciting scenes featuring the other characters, who are bland, as well as a tad too much golf. **1/2 out of 4.

While I think that Alfred Hitchcock's reputation is a bit bigger than life, he really did make some terrific films. One of his better ones was "Strangers on a Train"...a classic is every way. So, in light of his reptuation, the ubiquity of this movie on TV, and how famous this movie is, you wonder WHO thought it was a good idea to remake the film! Yes, some lunkhead decided it was a good idea to remake such a famous film...and the results, predictably, are inferior in almost every way.

When the movie begins, it's obvious that the movie is going to be anything but subtle or clever. The script and director establish VERY early on that Diana (Carol Lynley) is a sadistic nut! I am almost surprised they didn't just have her act just like Cruella De Ville...it was THAT unsubtle and silly. And, more importantly, this isn't handled with the deftness Hitchcock used in his version. Yes, Diana is vicious and evil....and about as obvious to everyone as can be. In contrast, Robert Walker in "Strangers on a Train" SLOWLY was revealed to be disturbed...and it's one of his best acting roles. As for Lynley....well, she's pretty.

If you care, and I certainly didn't, the film is mostly the same story but with a HUGE twist...the innocent man is a pro golfer instead of a pro tennis player....what a HUGE change! Well, I hope you're picking up on my sarcasm here!!!

Overall, a terrible film when you can't help but see how inferior it is in every way to the source material. I cannot think of a good reason to watch it other than to admire Ms. Lynley in a bikini (she looked far nicer than Walker would have in a bikini) or if you want to see a ham-fisted version of an excellent original.