The Nasty Rabbit

Ouch, this was one of the most trying Fairway International experiences that I've had to endure. The movie never seemed to flow and I found a lot of reasons to hit the pause button to get a sandwich, read a book, vacuum, go for a quick run...

Why didn't it work? It was as if the weak storyline (thanks a lot William Waters!), a full color production, dude ranch, espionage, and a furry hare were put together in a blender and out came Nasty Rabbit. Much of the humor is forced and there's not even any unintentional humor to be found. There were too many scenes with the secondary characters who carry the film the way a 16 ton weight floats in the ocean (it doesn't). Add stereotypical caricatures including a Mexican bandito garbed in south of the border attire plus sombrero, a Japanese spy in WWII uniform, a German with the worst imitation of Colonel Clink...EVER. Throw in a Russian commander with the worst Russian accent ever attempted (thanks a heap Nicholas Merriwether) and you'll find yourself doing crossword puzzles or making crocheted doilies.

Perhaps if Nasty Rabbit focused more on Britt (Arch Hall Jr) and Jackie (Sharon Ryker), it would have been an improvement. I know I know, I'm asking for more Arch Hall Jr. Trust me, I've seen Eegah and I still think Cabbage Patch Elvis should've gotten more screen time here. More Arch Hall Jr songs (only one is played in the film) would've livened things up. I can't believe I said that, but this is the truth...and I've seen Wild Guitar and the Choppers. And bring back more Richard Kiel! He berates a pint sized calf rustler and then vanishes into film obscurity. Oh, and the Benny Hill chase scenes towards the end caused me spasmic terror to no end.

Still, the bunny credits signs were unique.

As an Arch Hall, Jr., aficianado, I couldn't wait to play this film when I found it on DVD. Simply amazing--over-the-top performances, the usual strangely-themed Hall Jr. songs, characters who seemingly have no reason to be where they are (did Richard Kiel just want to get out of town for the day?), a talking white rabbit...the list goes on and on. Note the lack of continuity in the cabin-trashing and following scenes (the place must have excellent maid service)! See John Waters' star Liz Renay use power tools! Wonder how not one but TWO world-class cinematographers have lived down this disaster! And for being top-billed, Hall Jr. doesn't seem to actually appear all that much--even his band performs a song without him (which actually shows how good they are without their frontman, even while forced to sing ridiculous lyrics). And is it just me, or does the German character have an uncomfortable resemblance at times to Kenneth Mars in THE PRODUCERS?

But those people haven't sat through this movie. I thought that "Hillbillies in a Haunted House" was the nadir of low-budget movies, but I'll be damned if Hollywood didn't dig itself a deeper hole with "Nasty Rabbit."

The plot is a bunch of idiocy (especially sad because it's supposed to be funny) involving a Soviet plot to infect the U.S. with a deadly plague via an infected rabbit. Of course, spies from many countries are involved, and every ethnic group (from both hemispheres) is demeaned and insulted. After about five minutes of this, you'll find yourself begging for Arch Hall, Jr., to stop and warble a few tunes.

By the end, if you make it that far, you'll be hoping that the rabbit completes its mission.

THE NASTY RABBIT is a "comedy / satire" that's almost as funny as a brain tumor, and far more irritating.

A Russian agent carries the titular mammal, which is carrying a deadly plague. Not surprisingly, the spy seeks to destroy America. Meanwhile, other stereotypical agents from other nations attempt to abscond with the rabbit. Enter super-duper secret agent / rock 'n' roll heartthrob / motorcycle enthusiast, Britt Hunter (Arch Hall Jr.) to save the world.

While the setup might sound somewhat entertaining, it's not. This is pure cinematic agony! Director James Landis proves beyond all doubt that his earlier film THE SADIST was a fluke. Hall Jr., also in THE SADIST, is as interesting as a hairball and as appealing as a flypaper sandwich!

This movie was supposed to be a vehicle for Hall Jr.'s crooning / guitar twanging songs. Well, these ditties will have you smacking your head between two hammers for relief!

Please, heed the warning!...

As stated earlier, there are only so many times one can watch a Japanese guy fall out of a tree. The slapstick in this is of such a desperate and unpleasant quality, it'll give you a headache. BUT...

If you are looking for reasons to watch, they are as follows:

Opening credits. They are painted on giant plywood rabbits that were placed outside and then filmed. It makes for a colorful and crazy opening.

Arch Jr. The guy actually shows some star power here. Casual and cool-looking, unfortunately he isn't in it very much. He sings only one song.

Last and not least: The girl, "Jackie". She is totally cute. Just gorgeous and photographed very well. Sort of Natalie Portman-esque in her charms. Why never in another film??