Chained for Life

Director Harry L. Fraser, who gave us the unforgettable "I Accuse My Parents," went over the top with Hollywood's first (and, I suspect, lone) drama of the travails of two women who truly were, both in the film and in real life, inseparable.

Teen actresses and major merchandising mavens Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen have been described as joined at the hip. That was the reality for former vaudevillians Violet and Daisy Hilton, the Siamese twins starring in this crime film. Violet is Vivian and Daisy is Dorothy, not that it matters much.

The twins, a bit long in the tooth when the movie was made, reprise their old hoofer routine in a show that includes a master marksman and his gal, a beautiful on-stage assistant. Having Vivian get married is a publicity idea which she accepts enthusiastically, her close sibling less so. But she comes around hoping for her sister's connubial joy. The intended groom is the show's Dead Eye Dick. His motive: money to go through with the wedding.

Complications arise including the refusal of a number of states to issue marriage licenses on the tenuous, indeed unsustainable, grounds that a marriage by one of the twins would constitute bigamy. Nonsense. In fact Siamese twins in the nineteenth century, never mind later, got married in the U.S. Vivian is jilted on her wedding night so we don't get to see any conjugal maneuvering (not that we would have seen much in a 1951 feature).

Vivian and Dorothy watch the marksman do his act and Dorothy casually shoots the guy dead. The film begins with a judge asking, from his desk, for help from moviegoers in deciding whether to find the homicidal woman guilty, the sentence then either requiring that the other also be executed or, if a lesser charge was sustained, both would go to the slammer. I imagine conversations going on long into the night by folks who viewed the film and couldn't stop talking about the jurist's dilemma. This is a film with a question about justice-unfortunately it's too arcane for any serious discussion.

Court scenes alternate with recounting of the tale. The courtroom is as fake as the plot. And the Alpha Video DVD cover's posters from the original release promise licentious tidbits that never come close to surfacing. "Joined Together How Can They Make Love?" "What Happens in Their Intimate Moments?" That's what I wanted to know and why I forked out $4.99 for the disc. Phooey.

4/10 (for its curiosity value)

Remember the old brain teaser, where someone is on trial for murder, and the judge states that though the party is clearly guilty, he is forced to set him free, and it turns out that the guilty person is a Siamese twin?? Well, someone decided to base an entire feature film around that brain teaser. "Chained for Life" stars the Hilton sisters; real life Siamese twins from the vaudeville era who play (guess what) Siamese twin vaudeville stars (vaudeville, by the way, was pretty much a dead issue by the time this film was made), one of whom gets involved with a gigolo who abandons her on her wedding night, and the terrible retributions that follow. The Hilton sisters seem to be quite competent singers (though somebody should pick out better songs for them to sing), but don't quite cut it as actresses. When one has dialogue, the other completely goes blank, as if she were somewhere else. Most of the film, though, is padded out with other corny vaudeville acts who add nothing to the story, but help bring the movie to feature length rather than being a short subject. And there's a dream sequence that's not to be believed. All in all, for exploitation completeists only.

This exploitation feature isn't quite as lurid as one would think. The

Hilton sisters,who also must have been little people (comparing

their stature to the rest of the cast) do an admirable job conveying

the truths and difficulties they endured as Siamese twins.There is

a wonderful dream sequence where Dottie awakens to find that

she is a separate entity and she dances and runs freely. (This

being done with an obvious stand-in but is still an effective

sequence.) Being part of a vaudeville showcase I was delighted to

see highlights of some of the other acts, the juggler and the

accordian player to name two. The Hilton sisters are in very good

voice to boot. Sure the budget was low and the acting on par with a

community troop but there are worse ways you could spend 80

minutes. Be forewarned that the sound quality, at least on the

Arrow DVD, is a little below par but the print is much crisper than

the previous VHS release. Seeing that they were barely connected

at the lower back, I wonder had the Hiltons had been born today, if

medical techniques could have safely separated them. For $4.99

you will find this an enjoyable "B" film that stands up to repeated

viewing.

I was prepared to watch this film expecting to see an exploitation film but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it treats the subject of Siameese twins with a fair amount of dignity. The story about unrequited love within the confines of a Vaudeville show is fairly interesting. The real life Hilton sisters are no actresses, but their singing is most engaging. The villain of the piece has to be one of the sleaziest characters ever put on film. Ther are several other Vaudeville routines to entertain the viewer, but there is no real resolution to the story. This is certainly one of the most different films that I have ever seen.

If you've missed "Chained for Life," you haven't missed much. Based loosely (very loosely) on Siamese twins Daisy and Violent Hilton's lives, Chained For Life is low melodrama at its lamest. The starring ladies did, however, sing very sweetly, and their musical performances are worth sitting through the rest of the movie.

The movie opens with a judge begging the audience for help in resolving a terrible dilemma. The action moves to a courtroom, where conjoined twin Vivian Hamilton is on trial for the shooting death of her sister Dorothy's two-timing husband. The story unfolds in flashback as various characters are called to testify about how a publicity stunt turned to cruel heartbreak and eventually murder.

With a premise close to the sisters' real-life romances, "Chained for Life" could have been compelling drama in the hands of competent writers, a competent cast, and a director capable of pulling adequate performances out of Daily and Violet. We're left with a pure exploitation film, memorable only for its novelty.