Il mostro dell'isola

MORD39 RATING: 0 out of ****

I caught this foreign dud as a kid on television, under the alternate title of THE ISLAND MONSTER. It is without a doubt the lowest ebb of Karloff's career.

Those expecting a horror film will be dumbfounded, as this bomb is about a criminal dealing with drug smuggling (as far as I can tell) and kidnapping a little girl. I've seen my share of badly dubbed movies, from the Godzilla features to the European horror imports...but this one wins the award for all-time lousiest dubbing in a foreign film. Karloff didn't dub his own character, but the guy who did sounds like he's doing a cheap Boris impression! The voice of the distressed little girl must have been dubbed by a woman in her thirties or forties...it's a riot!!!

I guess if you want to laugh at the terrible English version, you can get a giggle or two out of this. It's not an easy film to find, but rest assured that if you never see it you shouldn't lose too much sleep; it's so atrocious that it makes the last bunch of Mexican features that Boris and Jack Hill worked on look like classics.

1953's "The Island Monster" ("Il Mostro Dell' Isola" or Monster of the Island) would appear to be the nadir of Boris Karloff's screen career, made during a listless decade where his television work far surpassed 8 feature film roles that hardly taxed his thespian abilities ("The Haunted Strangler" and "Corridors of Blood" the happy exceptions). Just as the later "Voodoo Island" offered him a sunny vacation in Hawaii, this minor effort from director Roberto Bianchi Montero served his desire to do some fishing off the coast of Italy in Sept. 1953, set on the island of Ischia near Naples where a local inspector must go undercover to ferret out dope smuggling. Unfortunately, any attempt to remain in disguise is foiled by the untimely arrival of not only his wife and daughter but also the family pooch, whose bloodhound abilities make Scooby Doo look like an amateur. The villains depend upon the wife's jealousy to lure her away from the hotel room where her child is an easy target for kidnapping, but things go downhill from there for head honcho Don Gaetano Bronte (Karloff), leading a double life as wealthy philanthropist by day, dope ring kingpin by night, using his free hospital as a means to smuggle in drugs instead of medicine. Location shooting provides scenic background, but the nonexistent budget and paucity of action make this a real chore to sit through, made even worse by an unprofessional dubbing job that makes the bawling brat sound worse than nails on a chalkboard. In a film where the adults behave like blithering idiots and nothing occurs to pique one's interest, Karloff's mere presence is all there is to offer solace for completists (over 20 minutes screen time), others may rejoice in avoiding it altogether. Montero would later be responsible for another Karloff credit, as narrator for 1964's shockumentary "Mondo Balordo" on its US release in 1967, but undoubtedly his happiest venture in Rome would come in Mario Bava's 1963 "Black Sabbath," providing one of the actor's last truly great roles as a Russian vampire known as The Wurdulak.

Three things do bring The Island Monster up a few notches, the title sequence music, the very well-trained dog and the picturesque locations. And The Island Monster while one of Boris Karloff's worst films is at least better than the Mexican films he made towards the end of his career, then again pretty much anything is better than those. But sadly even Karloff can't save it, he does try to bring some menace and dignity to his role but the film pretty much wastes him, he's not very well used and he doesn't even use his own distinctive voice. The rest of the acting is not much better, there is a lack of involvement and it is an acting style that belongs to another type of film really. The dubbing is atrocious, just as bad as the dubbing for films riffed on MST3K, it is true that the kidnapped girl sounds much older than she is and it's jarring. The photography is not particularly fluid and never does anything interesting. While the titles sequence music is great, the music is far too sparsely used and ponderous to make an impression generally. The dialogue is terrible throughout, made even less believable by how it's delivered, while the horror elements are very diluted(to the extent actually that there's hardly any), making the story incredibly plodding and non-eventful most of the time. Nothing suspenseful or exciting to be seen here. The characters are underwritten, poorly explored and unimaginative. So overall, a mostly dire film, there are a few redeeming elements but it is one rare occurrence where Karloff is not one of them but through no fault of his own. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Don't be fooled by the title or the presence of Boris Karloff, this is a dire Italian-made crime picture.

Any virtue the proceedings may have had (and that would seem to be precious little) is sabotaged by the atrocious dubbing. It is possible to get by dubbing little known Italian players, although the young child does sound as if she's been voiced by a woman whose inhaled too much helium, but to dub Boris Karloff is beyond forgiveness. Especially when it's been done by someone doing a half-hearted impression of the great man.

Plot-wise things are pretty grim too with all the clichés of the genre being firmly present and correct. There's a mysterious criminal mastermind, a smoky nightclub, a femme fatale and the requisite number of obvious double-crosses, lack lustre car chases and terrible dialogue. `It's impossible to get anywhere with you,' the nightclub singer sighs from deep within her cleavage, `you're so cool you're always sure to maintain your equilibrium.'

‘Our hero' is an undercover treasury agent and I can't help thinking that he needs a few pointers in how to do the job. The first thing he does when he arrives on the scene is to visit police headquarters and go out on a launch accompanied by the local chief officers. All in broad daylight! Not surprisingly it doesn't take long for the local crooks to blow his cover, although they do fail to recognise him later on when he poses as a member of a rival syndicate from Genoa. Perhaps it was his brilliant disguise of taking off his suit!

It's anybody's guess why Boris agreed to appear in this but perhaps roles were a little thin on the ground at this point in his career. On the other hand, it may simply have been that he fancied a free Italian holiday, which would also explain his presence in ‘Sabaka' (1954), a similarly eccentric choice from around this time. That one was filmed entirely on location in India. Nice work if you can get it.

Finally special mention must be reserved for `International Stars Jeanette and Bob' who present the worst nightclub dance act ever committed to celluloid. Sometimes seeing is believing.

It took four years for this to get a release in the U.S. I wonder why?

Thanks to Mill Creek Entertainment, this rare Karloff appearance remains a mystery no longer. Admittedly, the English dubbing varies from atrocious to only slightly less than passable, but it is probably no worse than the Italian version, and at least a commendable effort is made to try to imitate Karloff's distinctive voice. Not very successfully, it's true, but at least the dubbers took a tilt at it.

However, what will disappoint fans the most is that, despite the title, this is a not a horror film at all. It's what I call a Clayton's horror film. Clayton's is a non-alcoholic beverage that was extensively promoted a few years back as "the drink you have when you're not a having a drink!" Thus a Clayton's horror film is the horror film you have when you're not having a horror film, because this one is actually a "who is the mystery leader of a vicious gang of smugglers?"

Aside from Karloff (whose role is not all that extensive, despite his early entrance, although he does do a fair bit of running about), the only players that impel much interest are avuncular Giuseppe Chinnici as the helpful marshal and the exotic Franca Marzi as the singer you have when you're not having a singer (maybe she sings in the Italian version, but in this one she doesn't warble so much as a note). Miss Marzi is a rare commodity in movieland, an actress who's not afraid of continuously styling her hair in an unbecoming fashion or being constantly photographed from most unflattering angles.

Although he started back in 1943, director/writer Montero didn't really hit his stride until the 1960s when he made a series of reach-me-down, semi-documentaries on sexy themes. Interestingly, the best scenes in this effort are those on the marshal's ship where the camera is cleverly placed to three-dimensionalize the action (and Maestro Innocenzi adds to the allure of sun, sea and sky with his rousing title theme).

All told, passable entertainment, provided you're not expecting too much and are prepared to make generous allowances.