Verotika

Very clumsy, amateurish, missing all targets. It is not a comedy, thriller, soft porn or a horror - not even a spoof. First few minutes were not that bad, but it went down like a lead balloon quickly. One would be much better served watching an episode of "Twilight Zone". This one does not deserve your time.

Bullcrap comes in many textures - Lumpy, sloppy, soggy, firm, dry, compressed pellets or in liquid form but there's none more degrading, defiling or decomposed as Danzig's Verotika, which smells to high hell. The saddest thing about this movie is that they want you to pay for the privilege to view this abysmal bullcrap. Like somebody else on here, I watched a bootleg copy and even then I want my money back as well. The acrid aftertaste this movie leaves in your mouth approximates to a virtual upchuck of disgust which surmounts to a jaw dropping climax of disappointment by film's end. It's upheaval of disappointment cascades into a river of bullcrap. The pins & needles you may experience in your brain while watching this bullcrap is more entertaining than what Danzig has dished up here. (Lookout for signs of numbness while viewing this movie.) Normally a movie can only be two-minutes in and the wheels start to fall off but this movie started with no wheels to even begin with! It's a vessel of bullcrap masquerading as entertainment. But the way it is, and from reading other's reviews, this movie almost draws on our sympathies and we'll have to pity all involved and give it favorable comment the way it's going. Come on everybody, let's all feel sorry for Danzig and this movie. Should we take pity and go easy on poor 'ole Danzig? Seriously, I'm embarrassed for all involved. You've made fools of yourselves globally. Was this your answer to Creepshow, Danzig? Well, your movie is the equivalent of handing in a term paper written on used 2-ply toilet paper and if you're the future of film then that's bullcrap.

I have 0 doubt in my mind the '10 star reviews' are from people involved with this movie in some way. There is no way any person on earth enjoyed this movie; let alone thought it was a 10 star film. The acting is utterly atrocious, the 'special efx' highlight was a guy in a rubber suit, the lines oh my gosh the lines. It is some of the worst drivel Ive ever heard. And its not one of those movies so bad you laugh; its just BAD.

The fact that there are a couple 10/10 reviews for this film just proves the problem that IMDb has with shill reviews. If I produced this film, I would at least try and be realistic about it, instead of pretend it's some legendary piece of cinema by giving it a perfect score. Let's be clear here, 10/10 means masterpiece, and while I know there are plenty of legit moviegoers who exaggerate and give movies they like a perfect score every time, it's movies like this one- cheap cinematography, very poor acting, and awful writing that can have their perfect scores explained only by fake reviews generated by somebody close to the film, who has only ever reviewed this one film. I'm not blaming the movie itself- look, Danzig or not, if a person wants to make their own movie, make it as campy or low budget as you please...but let's not pretend like it's good. This film should only be shared with the friends and family of the production team, and not released to the public...even if people find a way to see it for free, our time is priceless.

The Misfits is a great band, and so is Danzig. Glenn Danzig is an icon, a legacy, a talented musician, and also the main "Verotika's" selling point for me. Sadly, after 90 minutes of considerably excruciating movie watching experience I have to conclude that Glenn doesn't know much about making movies. Tits and gore alone couldn't redeem the all-around undoubtedly objective mess that "Verotika" is.

"Verotika" is littered with a variety of filmmaking errors, bad or questionable creative decisions, sub-par or just plain bad acting, awful accents, awkward editing and cinematography solutions, drab lighting, bland score & the list goes on. There are multiple scene continuity issues already in the first of the three stories, corpses with flinching eyes (and even a moving hand) and other basic mistakes. Even though distracting, those problems could be brushed off if everything else was on a decent level. It's not though, far from it. Most of the performances are stale, emotionless, the dialogue is amateur-hour and the quite often used accents are very questionable. The stories have zero depth and end up nowhere before repeating their respective shticks five times in a row - all three of them (stories) are structurally pretty much the same and equally flawed. The Framing segment eventually turns out pointless, empty and repeatitive. The production values are low, the gore doesn't impress and neither do the naked bodies. Wherever cgi or green screen is used, it can be noticed fast and easily. In the second story there are at least 10 to 15 minutes worth of striptease scenes, in theory you may not think so, but it turns into a bore fest fast. "Verotika", having no twists, turns or layers, stretches out big-time and ultimately is the exact opposite of what we call a "rewarding experience". Cinematography's hit & miss, the bad parts are either bland and uninspiring or present, once again, minor errors. Maybe it's the editing, likely both. Glenn Danzing fails in directing, writing & cinematography, so it's even more disappointing that the original score is also underwhelming.

They say that "Verotika" could become a cult midnighter and is the horror equivalent to "The Room". Even though I'm a horror buff myself, I have to admit I enjoyed "The Room" more. It'd help a lot if the viewer could tell if the awfulness and hilarity of "Verotika" was intentional or not. To sum it up, it's, well, very bad, with a few laughs. My rating: 2/10.