House Shark

When a woman is mauled to death by a monster on her throne in the ceramic salon, everyone writes it off as a bizarre plumbing accident-except for former Sheriff Frank, who knows better. He assembles the most pathetic Sharkbusters imaginable to put an end to the terror.

Well, if you haven't scrolled past by now, there's no helping you. Get ready for Indoor Jaws, so wild and unhinged, it absolutely has to be seen to be believed.

This film gets under our skin (and scales) with ultra-cheap "effects" like the couch-surfing shark, underwater scenes shot without water, and props dangling from strings. Topping it all off is the record-breaking overacting of the highest (or lowest?) caliber.

In House Shark, you'll get delicious recipes for single parents (like 1 Can of Grilled Beans), stellar taxidermy suggestions, and handy DIY life hacks for home protection.

The whole thing is seasoned with excessive amounts of slimy goo, pubic hair in all the wrong places, pee-based slapstick, and other gross-out delights. Awe-inspiring, the abuse our optic nerves and stomachs endure here-just not from shark attacks.

Sadly, the film only really picks up in the second half, but sticking with it pays off.

I knew going in that this would be a parody of Jaws, but I was not expecting it to be super corny with very annoying acting from all over the place. This film also has a run time that is way too long for a movie of this type and its obsession with buttholes was a bit disturbing. Sadly, I have seen much worse in terms of low budget shark films as usually seen on the SyFy channel, but this one just lays it on too thick to be good. The jokes fall flat a lot of times and is it just me or did the one guy sound like that prospector from the MST3K riffed film The Final Sacrifice and the son look and sound like that annoying kid from the riffed Teenage Strangler?

The story has a husband going on a date which apparently he feels compelled to go on despite not being attracted to the woman. He leaves his son in the charge of a babysitter who is cute and gets naked and gets eaten! The best scene and shark attack in the whole movie and by far the best behind. Well, the father and the son are living in a tent, the father doesn't want to show the house and wants to destroy it, but the realtors he signed up with do. So they send an expert to kill the shark who fails and then a man who knows about the house shark first hand comes as well as an expert as they try to battle the fish in the house.

The humor is of the parody variety, but just is not funny most of the time. I got tired of the guy doing the accent quickly and the fact they were all named after presidents, pointless. The acting is not good for the most part as it just has the feel of guys who think they are funny trying to hard. The shark is a costume and while it doesn't look great, it does look better than the CGI sharks found in most other cheaply made shark movies and the gore is quite good at times too.

So, while the film was pretty bad, it had its entertaining qualities. It may have helped had the film been shortened so that the bad acting did not begin to annoy and if they had stuck with simply doing a shark parody without the other references. Basically, a movie that tries to capitalize on the success of a film that is over 40 years old. It is better than that lawnmower film that was a parody of Jaws released by Troma in the 80's as that one played it deadly serious for some reason. So this movie has that going for it.

The quinn wannabe was a bit irritating and the effects if you can call it that were pretty cheesy. if you wanna try and be as bad or worse than mulva zombie ass kicker as the worst movie ever might wanna try a bit harder. after 10 mins i was looking for the exit and should get a medal for finishing this one. i wouldn't recommend it even for a time killer and you have better things to do.

Fans of SHE KILLS or NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE might be inclined to give this one a watch, but HOUSE SHARK doesn't rise to the same heights as those other movies.

This is much more obviously a parody of movies like SHARKNADO with plenty of allusions to JAWS. Unfortunately, it's a bit too self-indulgent. Some of the jokes land and they're hilarious; many others merit a chuckle, if that.

At an hour and 52 minutes, it overstays its welcome and needed to trim about 30 minutes off the runtime.

The performances and special effects were adequate for the tone of the movie. Wayne W. Johnson and Melissa LaMartina turned in commendable performances. I was disappointed in Trey Harrison's turn in the lead role, but perhaps that was due to the script (or maybe improvised takes?) that went too often for "jokes" that didn't work.

Judged solely on whether it's a good time, I would have to say, maybe if you're drinking. Otherwise, it's too inconsistent and needed ruthless editing.

Who thought this should be an hour and 52 minutes long?!?