Vende-se Esta Casa

I completely jinxed this movie by saying how good it was halfway through.

I've seen some pretty horrendous horror films in my lifetime, but you expect them to be horrendous because they are what they say on the tin. Cheap and easy.

This film is the opposite, it's deceptive and not in a "ahhh wasn't expecting that" sort of way. More a feeling of being completely ripped off and dissatisfied kinda way. We honestly really enjoyed a good majority of this film, so many things that look like they're building up to a really good twist at the end. Mysterious characters, red herrings, things that could be linked together in a really cool way.

How naive and utterly wrong we were.

There is no point to this film. Literally, why was this film made? It's like they employed a really good writer for the first half of the film who put together a brilliant structure and then some idiot decided to take over and realised he/she was in over their head. By the last shot I was honestly screaming "DO NOT ROLL CREDITS" and my sister had to restrain me when the goddam screen went black.

This review may seem extra, but I have never been so angry, frustrated and disappointed by a potentially great film.

I urge you not to waste your time.

I have to go cool off and try and forget the fact I ever watched this piece of rubbish.

The Open House is a Netflix original movie and presently sits at no.55 on the IMDB bottom 100. So the IMDB community deems this to be the 55th worst movie ever made. I have to disagree, but there is no denying just how atrocious it is.

It tells the story of a mother and son who move into an open house after a tragedy befalls their family. As per the usual trope weird things begin to happen in the property.

The trouble is, well.................there are a lot of troubles but first of all the movie is..........wait, honestly I don't even know where to start here.

Awfully paced, dreadful characters you simply can't care about, a billion unanswered questions, the film ultimately goes nowhere at all! Basically the only redeeming features the film has are marginally decent cinematograpgy and a beautiful setting.

The Open House is fully deserving of all the poor ratings, it's the absolute pits.

The Good:

Beautiful location

The Bad:

Cliched to incredible levels

Unlikeable characters

Serves no purpose

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Nothing, in fact I'm pretty sure it caused brain leakage so I've probably forgot some stuff

When I'm on my death bed and about to slip away, I'm really going to wish that I could get back the 90 minutes of my life that I lost watching this crock of shiz. I feel sorry for the actors because, apart from Martha, (what was the point of her?) they weren't to blame. It was the diabolical "writing" which let this film down. The trailer was really promising but the rest of the film was soooo pointless. Unfortunately, you don't realise this until the end. The end - what the heck was that all about?? I'm just annoyed that I didn't have an early night and save myself from the huge disappointment of watching this film. Save yourself - don't bother!

Most of the 1 star reviews articulate the problem really well but if you're still unclear allow me to communicate it in another way.

Imagine you walked into your living room and saw Frank Sinatra playing world of warcraft. Then your neighbour came round several times and said some weird stuff to you. Then your cat takes a dump in your bed and moos at you. Then you start singing the lyrics to YMCA while Eiffel 65 is playing 'I'm blue' in the background

So you must be asking yourself, What was the relevance of sinatra and why world of warcraft? Why did my neighbour come around and what did they say? Why did your cat moo and why sing YMCA to a different tune?

The truth is...no reason at all. None of it related to anything. Pointless. No connection. Nothing

The whole consept of the film is interesting and I haven't seen something similar but there was no story at all. Not even the classic horror story that someone dies and becomes a ghost or how someone becomes a killer.