Vende-se Esta Casa

Most of the 1 star reviews articulate the problem really well but if you're still unclear allow me to communicate it in another way.

Imagine you walked into your living room and saw Frank Sinatra playing world of warcraft. Then your neighbour came round several times and said some weird stuff to you. Then your cat takes a dump in your bed and moos at you. Then you start singing the lyrics to YMCA while Eiffel 65 is playing 'I'm blue' in the background

So you must be asking yourself, What was the relevance of sinatra and why world of warcraft? Why did my neighbour come around and what did they say? Why did your cat moo and why sing YMCA to a different tune?

The truth is...no reason at all. None of it related to anything. Pointless. No connection. Nothing

The Open House is a Netflix original movie and presently sits at no.55 on the IMDB bottom 100. So the IMDB community deems this to be the 55th worst movie ever made. I have to disagree, but there is no denying just how atrocious it is.

It tells the story of a mother and son who move into an open house after a tragedy befalls their family. As per the usual trope weird things begin to happen in the property.

The trouble is, well.................there are a lot of troubles but first of all the movie is..........wait, honestly I don't even know where to start here.

Awfully paced, dreadful characters you simply can't care about, a billion unanswered questions, the film ultimately goes nowhere at all! Basically the only redeeming features the film has are marginally decent cinematograpgy and a beautiful setting.

The Open House is fully deserving of all the poor ratings, it's the absolute pits.

The Good:

Beautiful location

The Bad:

Cliched to incredible levels

Unlikeable characters

Serves no purpose

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Nothing, in fact I'm pretty sure it caused brain leakage so I've probably forgot some stuff

While the setting is eerie and suspenseful, the plot is thin and the ending is by far the most ungratifying experience I've had in movie watching that I can remember in recent years. And this includes a lot of the other ridiculous Netflix productions in the horror/suspense categories. Wasted part of my day off on this. Learn from my mistake...just don't.

The whole consept of the film is interesting and I haven't seen something similar but there was no story at all. Not even the classic horror story that someone dies and becomes a ghost or how someone becomes a killer.

Good job Netflix! You bought total crap! After watching this I can't help but feel like the "writers" of this trainwreck are sitting in their beanbag chairs and taking turns patting each other on the back. Instead of congratulating themselves they should be taking script writing classes. This was the laziest piece of crap that I have seen in a VERY long time. "Oh! We have a great idea for a movie!...I mean...we don't have any structure and we don't have a clue how to finish it...but maybe people will think we're geniuses for just phoning in the entire ending of the movie!"

Listen...there are no spoiler alerts here. This movie is a complete waste of time. If these two morons ever hope to make another movie...maybe they should learn something about structure...plot...climax. I feel like this movie was written on a napkin at a Denny's and then left on the table and the busboy decided to make it.

It's just awful. Stay away. And pray they never make another film in their lives. There are too many talented writers and directors out there to waste any time on these two.

There...I said it.