Lonely Hearts

Fully uncertain of how to rate this because it takes turns into about four different genres before ending in a wildly different place than it existed for the majority of the film. I have to credit the film's ability to surprise.

I assumed form the first few minutes that it was a dark-edged satire of Bachelor-style dating shows, which it was. But it had some other things on its mind as well. Companionship versus sexual desire, the manipulation and abuse in reality TV, some commentary on religious belief. And it becomes what it ends up being so slowly that by the time it hits, you'd forgotten to expect it was coming. Perhaps not a great movie, but definitely an interesting one that was trying something different. Oh, and lots of dong in this movie. More dong than you generally get in most movies.

Basically an excuse for some (attempted) titillating sex that uses horror trappings in an bid to disguise what it's actually concerned with. And it doesn't really perform well on any front (being either sexy or scary). The idea of utilizing a reality show as a setting for some horror shenanigans is solid enough, but there's just nothing to distinguish it from similar offerings, and it takes WAY too long for anything even remotely creepy to begin to transpire. The only real positive that can found here is Alice Mulholland, who is the performer that tries hardest to find a real character in the material.

This film is all you can expect given the budget and the quite niche indie horror subgenre. But even then, there are much better and more originals examples out there that display a better utilization of the limited budget at hand.

But I must really single out one actor in Lonely Hearts, or rather his extraordinarely big 'member', which clearly stands out: Chris Mills. His brave (exploitative) nude scene is one of the few silver linings in this film. In the past it has usually been female nudity that served as a gateway to attract a wider audience, in Lonely Hearts it is the focus on some truly terrific male nudity for a change which still makes this indie flick somewhat worthwhile. Great that we finally got to enjoy the female gaze when it comes to the nudity department.

Lonely Hearts (201) tells a very pointless and frustrating story about a group of individuals who basically want to get laid but reworded to love. Not sure why people came on board exactly to make this project, not do I understand why Sam Mason Bell keeps working with notorious creep Martin W Payne. Extremely graphic sex scenes for shock factor. Pornography disguised as a horror? Give me a break! Lonely Hearts doesn't do any justice in the film industry due to its lazy cinematic quality, terrible sound, awful dialogue. The only decent thing was the actors and I'm sure they regret being in this now.

Lonely Hearts (2019) simply never looks like something that would be broadcast on tv, unless we're talking on a late-night slot on Bravo in 2005. Shaky hand-held cameras and poor sound recording went out of vogue with Davina McColl's Streetmate, guys. It's not a deal-breaker by any means though, and a terrific campfire question-and-answer game in the last act more than makes up for it, where uncomfortable truths are revealed in a squirm-inducing fashion. There's an unsettling folk-horror vibe to some parts too, particularly a treasure hunt sequence. I just wish they'd used the countryside location more, to fully capitalise on it. The horror elements don't really come to the fore until the last few minutes, in an ending that isn't really earned and doesn't make much sense, but is fairly effective nonetheless. Up until that point, Lonely Hearts is more of a satirical erotic drama, which is a small, small genre indeed.