Lonely Hearts

There is a kernel of a good idea buried in Lonely Hearts, a sub-amateur film directed by Sam Mason Bell, about a mock-reality dating show where the producers have something more sinister in mind for the contestants. I like how frank it is with certain subject matter, but there is not a shred of common sense or logical thought to be found anywhere else. It looks like everything was made up as they went along, and then just turned into whatever they could out of it. More than half of this is unwatchable. Take two specific scenes and put them in Valentine, and Jamie Blanks' film would increase by at least a star.

This film is all you can expect given the budget and the quite niche indie horror subgenre. But even then, there are much better and more originals examples out there that display a better utilization of the limited budget at hand.

But I must really single out one actor in Lonely Hearts, or rather his extraordinarely big 'member', which clearly stands out: Chris Mills. His brave (exploitative) nude scene is one of the few silver linings in this film. In the past it has usually been female nudity that served as a gateway to attract a wider audience, in Lonely Hearts it is the focus on some truly terrific male nudity for a change which still makes this indie flick somewhat worthwhile. Great that we finally got to enjoy the female gaze when it comes to the nudity department.

Agreeing to participate in a dating show, a group of contestants arrive at a remote spot in the countryside and prepare for the festivities to come, but when they start to realize that something is off about the show they have to try to survive the experience and get away alive.

For the most part, this one wasn't all that bad. One of the strongest features found here is the general setup of the show that's supposedly being filmed here. Bringing everyone out to the countryside, where it's obvious what the intended couples are supposed to be from the start, with their promotional videos giving us a sense of who they are, and the various games they play for the competition give this a strong start. With the dating aspects creeping into the narrative and the couples starting to present themselves even better, the show itself becomes quite intriguing with what they have to do, especially with the cutaway to the producers watching and encouraging everything that happens here as it starts to become quite dark in tone and spirit. That's really the whole selling point of this one and really holds it up alongside the sleaze angle typically prominent in these genres. However, it does have several big flaws. The main issue is the absolute dearth of traditional horror elements present here that really makes it questionable what the scares are supposed to come from. The games being played here, from being forced to skinny-dip in freezing cold water for a better breakfast, a convoluted and unresolved clue-based hidden object search that just throws its unnecessary layer of padding into the game with switched couples and then a bizarre set of camping skill showpiece that again goes nowhere really doesn't signal any kind of genre devotion at all. Most are going to be out off by this due to the curious decision to go this route, especially with the finale twisting everything around and making for a series of admittedly brutal yet quite questionable antics that raise serious inquiries about what they're doing, what the whole purpose was and what point this all has in a satire of reality shows. These here being this one somewhat down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Full Nudity, and a sex scene.

With no knowledge and never hearing about this film, it appears to be a British independent film. Described as a reality tv parody type horror (such as Love Island), as watching, it did not seem like a horror but as we continue watching, we get a sense that there would be some sort of twist or reveal in the end- and there was.

The film is certainly entertaining and would appease to those who enjoy those reality competition type series. Surprising to see the lower rating and several negative reviews. People must have been expecting something different.

A lot of complaint seems to be the two graphic explicit skin scenes (full realistic nudity showing the male's private a few times)- after all the film is meant to be a realistic reality tv series so those scenes make sense.

The film's reveal in the final 10 minutes to end wasn't as predictable and was somewhat shocking. Although there are clues that a few of the "contestants" were in on it and it wasn't as it presented to be. We knew something was off about the tv host as well. Violent consequences in the end have the finale a quite sad disturbing ending- which seems to be why many disliked the film. Gave a rather bad taste, but it was something different.

In the end, it's a different type of film and thoroughly entertaining and sleazy watching to see what occurs next. It is Certainly not for the weak fainted.

Lonely Hearts (201) tells a very pointless and frustrating story about a group of individuals who basically want to get laid but reworded to love. Not sure why people came on board exactly to make this project, not do I understand why Sam Mason Bell keeps working with notorious creep Martin W Payne. Extremely graphic sex scenes for shock factor. Pornography disguised as a horror? Give me a break! Lonely Hearts doesn't do any justice in the film industry due to its lazy cinematic quality, terrible sound, awful dialogue. The only decent thing was the actors and I'm sure they regret being in this now.