SPF-18

I'm pretty sure this movie was written by a 13 year old girl with rich parents who could bank roll the entire thing. The parents must have some horrible dirt on Keanu, Goldie Hawn and Rosanna Arquette in order to get them to be in this huge pile of garbage. The whole thing made me angry and I don't even know who to be most angry at the writers, director or the poor unfortunate souls who had to perform in this train wreck.

The only things I liked about this movie was the 80's music, and seeing a lot of Noah Centineo without a shirt 💦👙(this is the emoji closest to panties 😆😉) The plot is horrible, and the acting is awkward. The IMDb rules says I have to write 5 lines in this review. You should not waste your precious lazy Sundays on this. I'm just using space now. Lol.

This movie is terrible. I'm wondering how it got made. It seems like the director was attempting to make a high-brow film that comes off more like an arrogant 13-year old's Philosophy essay. The main actress looks like she was fed the lines one minute before every scene was filmed. The lines are reminiscent of a Sunday Hallmark film. The country singer character seems like a caricature of country singers which was almost insulting. The cameos are bewildering, like an uncle bragging about knowing the President.

It's a Painful, and I repeat Painful watch. Why would Netflix stream such a movie? It's a sight for sore eyes. I understand now that the International Version of Netflix has no respect for its viewers.

This must have been one of the worst... "things" I have seen in a long time. Calling it a movie would even be offensive to a really bad movie.

First of all the weird voice over sounds like someone forced their mom to read lines they had come with 2 minutes earlier, which would actually in a way be a good thing because it would be the ONLY logical explanation to why she makes everything sound so painfully awkward. And I just cannot NOT address the fact that Molly Ringwald plays the mom, I mean I have seen desperation amongst once famous actors but she has just taken the crown. Not to mention that the script is so bad it makes you wanna rip your hair out. Overall SPF-18 looks like it could have easily been made by middle schoolers and the fact that anyone would call this piece of crap an actual movie hurts my intelligence.

Since this catastrophic piece of "film making" was Alex Israel's directorial debut I'm guessing we wont be seeing cinematic masterpieces from him any time soon. Goes to show that getting a bunch of fairly good looking yet extremely mediocre actors and placing them in a luxurious environment does not necessarily make a good movie, or you know, in this case a movie at all.

To start off this review I would like to say that there should be an option for 0 stars out of 10. This movie was so god awful it doesn't deserve even a quarter of a star. This movie gave a whole new meaning to the word god awful because it was so bad. This movie had all the right components for a great movie but they were in all the wrong places and in a movie with no plot whatsoever. If you are a parent wanting to give your child a punishment, SPF-18 will do justice. In fact, if you are any human being whatsoever wanting to punish yourself, a family member, a friend, or even your fish go ahead and put this movie on. My first question of many is what drugs the screenwriter, director and producer were on when they a) thought of this movie and b) decided to actually go through with it. My second question is how did this movie even get any funding? My final question is with the funding from this movie how much of it went to therapy for the actors and viewers for their ptsd of having to be in or see this movie? I've been in elementary school plays that had better acting than this one. While writing this review it got deleted up until this point and I've had to recall everything I wrote before. At first, I was thinking, "Wow I don't know if I can do this". But then, I remembered that I got through watching all of Spf-18 so surely I could rewrite this review. So here you have it. You're welcome for this review that I've taken so much time for which clearly the producers of Spf-18 didn't care to do.