Lobisomens do Terceiro Reich

Will admit to feeling nervous about seeing 'Werewolves of the Third Reich'. The low rating and poor reviews were not promising, and too many of my recent low-budget viewings with both of those here have proven to be that bad and worse. The idea also seemed really ridiculous, even for one clearly not meant to be taken seriously and with the potential to be executed in an intelligence insulting way.

My nervousness proved after watching 'Werewolves of the Third Reich' to be justified. 'Werewolves of the Third Reich' was yet another film to be that bad, as bad as the low rating and reviews suggested, and worse. It was not only ridiculous and terribly made but also intelligence insulting to a near-offensive degree, with a huge amount to criticise and nothing to recommend. Have nothing really to add, with it said already so well, other than my thoughts.

Knowing where to begin with the criticisms is difficult. 'Werewolves of the Third Reich' looks cheap, with drab and rushed-looking photography, haphazard editing, risible visual effects that just look strange, inauthentic and shoestring budget-like costumes and far from atmospheric or spooky settings. The sound quality is intrusive and obvious and can remember little about the music other than how ill-fitting it was.

Dialogue is cheesy as sin and delivered with accents that are both stereotypical and incomprehensible and words delivered in a way that will make native Germans and those studying German cringe and feel insulted. The story is uneventful in the first act and becomes increasingly silly and implausible, as well as tension-free and lacking in coherence. The action is clumsy and dull and the direction shows no engagement or experience with the material.

Characters are irritating and little more than cartoonish caricatures. Don't let the titular creatures elevate things, they are barely in it and are poorly designed. The acting is all round awful, with lots of histrionics and bizarre miscasting (Hitler is one of the biggest dishonourable mentions).

Overall, terrible. 1/10 Bethany Cox

The cover of "Werewolves of the Third Reich" is highly attractive and promising - and that is all. The film is not a "trash movie" (such as "Braindead", "The Toxic Avenger" or "Piranha") but a complete garbage. The story and the screenplay are laughable in the bad sense. The cast is ridiculous, highlighting the ham Lee Bane, an annoying "actor" with terrible accent. Nothing works in this movie, the special effects are worst that those from the Sci-fi Chanel and the mask of the werewolf is terrible. See the DVD cover and forget the flick. My vote is two.

Title (Brail): "Lobisomens do Terceiro Reich" ("Werewolves of the Third Reich")

This is one of the worst movies of all time, and I use the word 'movie' generously here. And before I continue I would like to point out that I am a huge fan of the Asylum movies so I am no film snob.

I'll only talk about the first 20 mins of the film because if I write any more, I will lose the will to live.

So what happens in the first 20 mins? Absolutely nothing! No, I mean it. Nothing. Sure there are a couple of scenes but there is absolutely no point to them. We get to learn that some prisoners (more later) are going to have drugs tested on them and that's it. 30 seconds of 'important stuff' in 20 mins.

My most enjoyable bit? Overweight concentration camp prisoners. I don't think the makers of the movie studied WWII history.

The makers don't seem to know anything about Jews either since the biggest, fattest prisoner has a huge tattoo on his chest. It is pretty common knowledge that Judaism still frowns on tattoos and 70-odd years ago things would have been much stricter.

Second favourite bit? The actor chosen to play Hitler - the only prerequisite being the ability to put on a moustache as far as I could see. I look more like Hitler and I'm 6 foot, balding, and fat.

I would like to suggest watching it for the comedy value but Sharknado 5 this ain't. It is not even funny bad. It's just bad.

Rather than spend 1 hour and 34 mins watching this 'movie', I would suggest that members of IMDb use the time more wisely. I won't give any suggestions. Literally ANYTHING would be time spent more wisely.

I managed to make it through about 15 minutes of Lee Bane, who plays "Mad Dog" Murphy, channeling his inner Hugh Jackman/Wolverine, and then. I had to turn this piece of garbage off.

I'm an hour into this thing and there still aren't any werewolves! Dudes and dudettes! Attention! Do not by any circumstance watch this movie! The big question is, why does the guy from Philly have a southern accent?