The Last House on Cemetery Lane

And another Sunday evening ruined by a badly made film. The cover looked pretty promising, but straight from start it fails at impressing the viewer. But okay let's give it a chance, maybe it'll improve. Unfortunately ... it doesn't. My word, what a bad piece of film this is.

It utterly fails to pick up speed and you really have to struggle to keep paying attention... and this is a horror film. Well it's labelled and marketed as a horror movie... which is an insult to horror fans like myself.

The music is distracting and corny, the special effects would make early film makers laugh... Then there's the horrible dialogs and the dreadful acting. You'd be better off watching the Wizard of Ozz for a good scare. The only horror is that I wasted precious time watching it.

The majority of the film has no horror, no suspense, no progression, no lore, no scares. About 60% (70%?) in it starts but by that time it leaves me asking "why bother with the first half?"

No way back from that for me, disappointing.

This is a one of those Christian message films being deliberately mis- marketed as a horror movie. And everyone has been given the Christian message and knows it by the time our brains begin retaining memories. So let's BE HONEST about what kind of movie we're trying to shove down people's throats. Especially horror aficionados, who want to watch something evil! We know where the church is like everyone else, and we'll see you there on Sunday like everyone else. Where we should talk about the good works that could have been done with the money it took to produce and distribute a movie!

As for the watch, its surprise final act and clever after-twist with the Christian message (again) had no chance of overcoming either its filler drag or the fact that Christian "horror" movies are a bad idea, no matter how well they're done.

The screenwriter John Davies (Lee Bane) leaves London and rents an isolated manor in the countryside for two months in a location where he used to visit when he was a child. The real estate agent Mrs. Connelly (Tessa Wood) shows the two-floor house but informs that in the attic lives another tenant, the reclusive Agnes (Vivien Bridson) that is blind. John decides to stay and in the afternoon he meets the beautiful neighbor Cassie Konrad (Georgina Blackledge) in the garden. John invites Cassie for a tea and soon they get close to each other. However, during the night, John is haunted by nightmares and supernatural events. One night, he decides to break in the attic and Agnes discloses the secrets of the manor.

"The Last House on Cemetery Lane" is a very low budget horror movie with a story of haunted house. The storyline has potential but the cinematography, camera and effects are very poor and the plot is confused. Who is haunting the house and consequently John is the most important unanswered question since Cassie has fallen in love with John. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): Not Available

I have watched this film right to the end as I'm not a quitter.

But this was super boring.

The main male actor was pleasant on the eye though.

If you have a spare couple of hours to waste then give it a bash.

But I'm sure you'd find something better to wheel away your evening.

And having to fulfil my obligations to writing 600 worded review is becoming like sticking toothpicks under your finger nails.

The few actors in this film some are wooden, unimaginative and possibly will remain as B list actors. Next time il make sure il check the reviews first, then I won't feel obligated to watch it until the end, hoping it would pick up.