Cryptids

Hosting a new radio show, a shock jock listens in as callers give their encounters with different cryptids and other creatures of the world.

The Good Stor(ies): Scared-Hosting a special party with friends, a woman comes to believe that a series of strange encounters are the result of a series of demented child deformities known as Melonheads which are known to run wild in the area. This was a pretty solid way to get this one started. The initial setup with the party and how her fears about the children being out there as the cause of everything gives this a solid start, much like the brief bit of backstory we get to explain their presence and existence in the area. It all leads into the series of gruesome and brutal confrontations within the house and surrounding areas showing the creatures coming out and swarming the victims in a non-stop battle that has a lot to like with the atmosphere of it all and the carane needed to stop them. It feels short and flimsy without much explanation for everything but it's still a lot of fun.

The Forest Bride-Heading out into the woods, a legendary tracker and his assistant looking for a slew of missing persons in the area find a survivor which leads them back into the woods to track down the legendary creature that attacked her. Overall, this was a pretty decent if somewhat flawed genre effort. The central setup works well here with the idea of looking for the injured hiker and going further into the woods to track down the creature that injured her serves it quite well. The rescue mission itself and the discoveries made at that point offer up a rather strong storyline that has a lot to like. That it's so short and doesn't offer up a lot of context for what's going on gives this one a lot more ambiguity than expected with what's going on as things happen without explanation which is the main issue with it.

Chupacabra Death Machines-After disappointing their bosses, a group of low-level drug-runners are kidnapped and left inside a strange warehouse where they're then systematically hunted down and killed by strange creatures for punishment. This was a wildly fun and enjoyable segment. The main storyline is a bit underwhelming and would have easily been expanded out into a full story offering just the bits and pieces here with how they come together and the other scenes of the group watching everything on their monitors. The attacks are brief but brutal, managing to get a lot to like while being let down just enough in its brevity and lack of context that it can only benefit from being expanded upon.

Trick or Beast-Following a series of animal attacks, a group of friends decide to head out on a monster-hunting mission to prank a friend of theirs, but when they realize the extent of their plan are faced with a monstrous creature. This was a solid if underwhelming genre effort. The central setup is solid enough and gets quite a lot to like with the group trying to pull off the prank on their friend which brings them into contact with the mysterious creature that serves as a great punchline to the whole situation. This one just ends up more as a secondary storyline with a creature tacked on at the very end with it being far more obvious about the prank they're trying to pull and how it all comes together that don't make this one all that exciting until the creature appears as it's taking way too long to get going, holding it back the most.

The Bad Stor(ies): Frogs Are Forever-Trying to make ends meet, a bizarre local in a small swamp town comes across a strange creature of local legend that displays far more unusual motions toward him than he's expecting. Overall, this one was more disappointing than anything. The preponderance of silly antics and general confusion over what's going on is the main issue here with the irritating lead that we're supposed to find quirky and lovable but just comes off as too odd for people to trust, his constant shiftiness and unease makes a lot of his comments seem far-fetched to the point of ridicule, and it's so shifty with it's camera-work it's hard to tell what's happening anyway as it's hard to make sense of anything going on here. The monster looks good and the scenes where we get to see the outcome of its attacks give this some solid moments but this comes off disappointing.

A Hopkinsville Encounter-Heading out to their relatives' house, a couple trying to spend quality time with their stepdad find that he's recovered a strange object from the area and plans to use it for their Halloween plans only to learn the horrifying truth about its contents. This was a rather solid idea that somewhat misses the mark overall. The main storyline here is solid enough and there's some fun mystery about the series of incidents that hint at something going on. It starts off fine enough. There's also some fun to be had with the revelation of the creature and the final encounter at the end which makes for some cheesy action at the house, which is what holds it up over a sense of brevity that renders a lot of what's going on confusing and hard to follow. By being so forthcoming with the lack of information it's hard to get invested by it but is what holds it down overall.

Infectious-Bored one day, a group of teens head into the woods for some fun only to encounter a carnage that they take to a friend of theirs for help figuring out what it is only to learn the deadly truth about it. This was a bizarre and barely worthwhile feature that only has one aspect going for it. The main factor with the segment is the solid gore involving the corrosive alien's blood that comes about in a couple of fun scenarios where the comical nature of the meltdown brings about some graphic scenarios, but otherwise there's not a whole lot to this one. The fact that there's a bizarre found-footage component to it that's not necessary and misses some important gags because of where the camera has to be positioned at that point, the old-school filter attached to it makes for a bizarre gag that doesn't need it, and with a brief running time that doesn't have time to explain anything leaves this somewhat problematic.

The Truth Serum-Hosting a new radio show, a shock jock listens in as callers give their encounters with different cryptids and other creatures of the world. As a means of setting everything in motion, this is a decent enough wraparound to get things going. The concept of the radio show to give people a means of calling in so that the stories are called become the segments featured here is a great touch, and the interactions with the co-producer give it a touch of levity that's fun enough overall. There's just not enough interaction elsewhere in between the segments to make for a fun time as it's just straight in to the next one without any time to breath or setup the next story so it all feels a bit rushed, and the final interactions are a bit rushed as well so it just seems to end without much resolution so it also ends on a sour note as well for it's few drawbacks.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

Right, well the 2023 movie "Cryptids" is a horror anthology, and had I known that, I would not have given it the time of day. Yeah, horror anthologies tend to be mostly terrible movies.

As it usually go with horror anthologies, so did it also go with "Cryptids". A couple of the segments were good and actually entertaining, while the rest were either pointless or bland. So yeah, archetypical horror anthology formula here. And that is also the reason why I don't recommend you to waste 85 minutes on watching this horror anthology. Some of us suffered through this ordeal, so you don't have to; you're very welcome.

The only familiar face on the cast list was actor John Bloom, whom was the radio host doing the segments in between the different stories. In general, I will say that the acting performances were, for the most parts, generally fair. Sure, there were some questionable performances as well.

The special effects were also miles apart from each other. Some of the effects were actually good, while others were amateurish.

You are given some very, very different styles of directing and storytelling throughout the different segments, given the segments are directed by different directors. But hey, there is something for everyone in the audience then, I suppose.

"Cryptids" is a forgettable horror anthology, just as I assumed it would be, once I realized that I had sat down for a horror anthology.

My rating of "Cryptids" lands on a generous three out of ten stars. And this is definitely not something I will sit down to watch a second time.

Now, is this top notch quality move, high production? No. In fact, I'd say it's a B production. However, it doesn't suffer a lot.

The movie was may as an omnibus of stories, centered around a radio station and a show where people call about strange creatures, And that show is what keeps all those stories together.

The stories are pretty much local, more or less known urban legends and campfire stories. They are not the same quality or interesting, but they keep your attention.

Acting is decent enough, effects are a bit lackluster, but hey, what can you expect from B production? And since there are other qualities, the effects are to be forgiven.

Worth watching as a popcorn movie, will give you an hour and a half fun and you'll quickly forget it. But to kill a time and not be bored to death - perfectly fine.

This is a movie that I was intrigued when I heard that it featured Joe Bob Briggs aka John Bloom. I also saw Justin M. Seaman hanging around at the film festival. He is a filmmaker that learned about from his films: The Barn and its sequel. When I made the connection that he was part of this, I was in. I've seen a good number of documentaries about cryptids so I was intrigued to check this out. This was the Ohio premiere as well.

Synopsis: an anthology film about a paranormal radio show that accepts calls from individuals who have met creatures from the unknown.

Now this anthology has a wraparound story that involves Harlan Dean (Bloom) who is the host of a radio show called Truth Serum. They're in Point Pleasant, WV for the celebration of the Mothman. He takes callers who tell him different stories.

What I like about each one is that they're involving an urban legend about cryptids that are believed to be out there. The first one is involving 'Melonheads'. This short has two couples sleeping in tents to help Heather (Sable Griedel) get over her fear. Matt (Chad Bruns) is friends with her boyfriend. He's also a jerk. What he says doesn't help the situation as he talks about different creepy entities living in the woods. This puts fear back to Heather. It is amplified when they hear things calling out in the night.

The next story is about 'Bigfoot'. A park ranger and his partner find a woman in the middle of the woods. It looks like she's been attacked. They try to help her as well as journeying deeper after they come face-to-face with one of these animals. What they discover is that it might not be alone.

Our third story brings things to Ohio where this is a guy called Buckeye Joe. He tells the odd story of a cryptid hunter named Oren who has a crazy encounter with 'The Loveland Frogman'. This encounter brings a night he will never forget.

We then have a story around Halloween where a son comes home to visit his dad with his girlfriend. Credit to her for showing off her body a bit. That is despite thinking her boyfriend's dad might be a bit odd with his love of horror stuff. This is about 'Hopkinsville Goblins' which I believe are aliens from what I gathered. It also isn't the first time that dad encountered these monsters.

The next story is then 'Chupacabra Death Machines'. A barber, Esau Ramirez, tells the story of how the Mexican cartel is using this legendary beast to hunt for sport and taking bets on which one will get the job done. The barber also wants to remain anonymous for fear of what could happen to him if it gets out that he talked.

Then the final story is about 'The Beast of Bladenboro'. Two friends and one of the guy's sisters are hunting down this monster. It might be too much for them to manage as they come face to face with a monster that is unbelievable.

We do come back to Harlan in between segments. He might also have an encounter of his own. There is also a reason that he is getting these people on the phone to tell their stories.

That is where I'll leave my recap and introduction to each of these stories. Since I saw this in the theater, my notes are limited. What I think I'll do since each one has different filmmakers is give each a run through and then tally up the average score at the end. I'll start here then with the wraparound. I love that they got Bloom for Harlan. He is perfect for this role. He is a guy that I'd love to just talk with and hear stories. I also like that there could be a story involving him with Mothman, Mr. Cold and a man in black, Wayne W. Johnson. This sets the stage and helps bridge the stories.

The first story surrounding the Melonheads was good. These are one of the creepier ones that are used. There is a good set up to get our group outside with Heather needing to overcome her fears. She is the strongest performer here. The rest of the cast is okay. I love the look of the Melonheads. That was creepy. The blood and gore that we saw was good as well. Solid short to set the tone here. I also like that her nurse, Lana (Jordan Beltz), is the one calling it in to Harlan.

What they did with the Bigfoot one was also good. I don't necessarily know if we needed the woman being attacked as part of it. I do understand how that plays into things later. What I like is that this duo meets one of these creatures, shoots it and then follows. This proves to be disastrous. What is also interesting is the explanation here as to why bones of these cryptids aren't found. The acting here worked and I thought the effects were good. Love the suits used for the monsters.

One that I didn't necessarily care for would be about the Loveland Frogman. This goes a bit too whimsical. It made me laugh at times. Credit there to the actor playing Oren. I think this would be served a bit better if we got to learn a bit more about this cryptid as this was just a wild one that I don't know much about.

Now one that held the tone much better for me was Hopkinsville Goblins. We have a solid set up of this son, bringing his girlfriend home to spend Halloween with his dad. I'll bring up again that the girlfriend was quite attractive and seeing her in her underwear was good. Not sure why that needed to be here other than entertainment. The monsters here are great. They are quite Gremlins, Ghoulies or Critters like. This one also had the best soundtrack for what I remembered.

A short that I thought had more promise but came up a bit short for me was Chupacabra Death Machines. I love the idea here that the Mexican cartel has these creatures and using them for what they are. That is great. It is also terrifying. The effects here I wanted a bit more. From what I remember, this went a bit too CGI heavy. These beasts also looked like dogs. A bit more care I think could have made this stronger. The acting was solid though.

Then the last short being The Beast of Bladenboro. This one I thought was quite interesting, what they did here. I remember there being a stinger in this that caught my attention. This has that plotline of a joke gone wrong and then the truth of the matter coming to a head. I remember the friend here being hilarious, so I'll credit the acting. I thought this was one of the better ones here for sure.

In conclusion, this was a solid anthology involving different cryptids. I like the fact that we have got a solid grouping of ones that I've heard of and ones that are a bit lesser known. The idea of having different filmmakers make each one interesting. It does make for a bit uneven of tone though as well. Overall, I think that all these are solid. Tweaks here and there for me could have made this better. If you're a cryptid fan and want to see a decent anthology involving them, give this a watch. Be warned, it is a lower budget. I still think the effects are strong almost completely across the board.

My Rating: 6.5 out of 10.