First Man on Mars

It took me a while before I realized this movie is kind of a take off of 1970's b-movies mixed in with satire of current culture, and on some levels it works very well. The story is simple. Billionaire astronaut goes to Mars on a secret mission to get even richer from the "vast mineral deposits" but discovers that there's "nothing but rocks and dust." He gets infected by a gold colored spore(?) which he mistakes for real gold and ends up flying back to earth as a mutated creature. He lands in Louisiana undetected during hurricane Katrina and starts killing animals and humans of the course of several years. Local sheriff gets on the case and goes to track the monster down. There is the reference to drive in sci-fi horror films from the 50's to the 70's, like a direct take on Corman's early films like Little Shop of Horrors and Creature from the Haunted Sea. Some very funny bits too. The bar scene with the hick and the Russian model who went from Vogue magazine to working for a low grade rag called Bullets and Bimbos is deadpan funny. There is a tent massacre scene which is hysterical, and the practical effects are "spit up your coffee" level of ridiculous. Obvious miniatures and over the top gore that is more funny than gross. It is a mixture of satire on old movies and current culture like the girls in bikinis with guns craze and a few pot shots at Harry Potter thrown in for good measure. The cinematography is near perfect and captures the look of the 70's much better than "Final Girl," a movie which supposedly takes place in the 1980's but was just digital video made to look like 80's era film. Didn't work well at all. Overall I give First Man on Mars a 6 out of 10 for delivering some very funny dialog, goofy gore and achieving the retro look it was aiming for.

Mike T Lyddon's homage to grindhouse & video nasties is a deliciously gory slice of comedy horror that goes well with a couple of beers.

Fellow fans of The Toxic Avenger and Hobo with a Shotgun will find plenty of fun in this mutated astronaut's rampage through the Louisiana swamp.

Whoever wrote that this movie is offensive is a very biased person with some personal trauma. there's nothing offensive here, there's just a sort of parody. not bad, not good, just average. and what do you want more for a low budget movie? this movie is good for its budget.

Do not see this film if you don't know 60's and 70's b-movies, you'll probably hate it. Watch a few Roger Corman, Larry Buchanan and early Troma flicks before you see First Man on Mars. It is not only a satire of those films but an homage to those filmmakers and they hit the nail on the head. Spot on acting and just enough stilted direction to convey that "Lasterblast" kind of vibe, but it's the effects that really bring it home. The miniatures are perfectly "miniature" and the makeup effects are so over the top that it appears they were designed for comic relief. There is a disembowelment scene and the guy's intestines are ridiculously over-sized, and the flute in the eye gag had me crying tears of comic joy. Sure it's a pretty cheap ass movie, but that's the point. Highly recommended for lovers of retro trash movies.

"Do you like monster movies? I love monster movies, and the cheaper they are, the better." To paraphrase the late great Frank Zappa when he introduces his song "Cheapness." First Man on Mars is not only a cheap monster movie, it's an hilariously cheap monster movie. Not only is it a satire of those 60's-70's low budget drive-in flicks, but it manages to throw in some post modern barbs to current culture. I read it was shot on 16mm and they couldn't have gotten that old school look any better. Other than the general hi-jinks of the characters there is a fair amount of blood and gore, but it's very comic book-like and meant for laughs more than horror. The miniatures are perfectly miniature looking and along with the ultra low budget visual effects I found myself anticipating the next visual guffaw. Very much an homage to Incredible Melting Man, First Man in Space and early Corman films like Beast from the Haunted Sea etc., but beautifully over the top like it should be. You can tell the filmmakers love those movies and there are plenty of sci-fi and horror references throughout. While it is definitely not for everyone, I highly recommend First Man on Mars to those with a sense of humor, a sense of film history, and fondness for old school sci-fi and horror.