Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

The makers of this movie don't understand why Mega Shark makes it into cult classic status in such a short period of time

First of all, there are cleavage bimbies who actually live in this movie, such characters living in Mega Shark is against god.

Mega shark gets taken down, sort of, nothing takes down true mega shark, not nukes, not bimbies, nothing

One thing this movie does do is make the size of Mega shark a sliding ruler, to very large to absolutely Ginormous, in True Mega Shark movie style

Another big mistake is classifying Mega Shark, the real Mega Shark needs no classification, Mega Shark is all the classification necessary

So at the end of the day, the makers of this movie have very little comprehension of what a Mega Shark movie is, this thing is more Hollywood in nature and script.

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (2015)

* (out of 4)

Considering how awful this movie is, I'm not going to spend too much time with the plot since we've basically got the good ol' U.S.A. going up against Russia, which leads to our giant shark battling a large robot.

MEGA SHARK VS. KOLOSSUS is the fourth film in the "Mega Shark" series and it's certainly the worst to date. I say it every time I watch a film like this but you really can't go in expecting anything in terms of quality but instead you hope to just find some cheap entertainment. Sadly, there really wasn't anything entertaining here as the entire film was a real chore to sit through and at just 90 minutes the thing feels three times longer.

I'm really not sure who thought it was a good idea to have a screenplay full of dialogue but it really backfires because this film is simply boring from start to end. The worst thing is that we're given subplots dealing with science and politics and it's just downright awful and makes for some horrid melodrama and lame comedy. The CGI effects of the two monsters were better than you'd expect but why the two didn't battle more is anyone's guess. Either way, this is a really bad movie that should just be skipped.

I love the way that Asylum actively promotes recycling by throwing in random clips from U.S. Navy stock footage regardless of whether this or that particular ship has previously been used in this movie. This one has clips of an Iowa-class battleship firing its big guns that I am pretty sure were used in American Warships, as well as the mandatory sinking of a U.S. aircraft carrier using the same special effect that was previously used in American Warships and Age of Ice. We also have the obligatory black actor as the senior Naval officer. No problem there, but will somebody please tell Asylum that Admirals do not tool around in destroyers, and that if you are going to film the Admiral on the bridge in open sea, it would be good not to have trees and land visible out the non-military window of the bridge they are filming on. Three stars for the three drinks you will need to get through this one.

This is one of the worst of the Asylum 'giant monster' films I've watched yet. It manages to be a much bigger disappointment than the original MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS and also wastes a premise that wouldn't have been out of place in a kaiju flick: a giant shark is once again terrorising international waters, and the danger is compounded when a giant Russian colossus comes out of the depths to also wreak havoc.

It simply feels like the guys at The Asylum weren't trying at all with this one. The special effects are very poor indeed, particularly the underwater stuff, although I admit I did get a kick out of the few scenes of the Kolossus walking around and destroying stuff (it goes back to my childhood experience with Talos in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS). The giant shark stuff is really, really, pitiful and has a hackneyed, 'seen it all' before feel.

There aren't even any recognisable stars in this one, just a bunch of bad actors going through the motions. The CGI is horrible, the lighting is inefficient, and there's no gore or violence to speak of. It all feels like a half-hearted cartoon and is even worse than comparable stuff like BERMUDA TENTACLES - and that's saying something!

Just for the laughs. When a movie like mega shark vs predator? 😂