San Andreas Quake

This is the first time I have ever felt compelled enough to write a review... That being said, this movie was so incredible awful that I had to contribute to the already terrible ratings (which I should have looked into prior to watching). Like many others before me, I simply do not know where to start. The acting, the story, the special effects- ALL just absolutely horrible. I was actually under the impression that this would be the 2015 San Andreas movie starring "The Rock" - clearly that is not the case, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. This is where my review ends - I cannot possibly waste any more of my precious time on this planet discussing atrocious excuse of a amateur movie. :( sad panda

There are 2 things that you have to keep in mind when you are watching this movie. First; it is made by a company called Asylum and second; don't get excited by the pamphlet which is showing people hanging out on a chopper.

As with all the other movies made by Asylum, you have to understand this is a B grade movie. I don't even know if this kind of movies will see the day they deserve in the cinemas. For a company who has made hundreds of movies, I am really surprise that they have never graduated from the B grade or just quit the business of making movie. Surely they must understand that making a crappy movie will mean loosing money.

There is no logic in this movie, there is no plot and I don't even know what the story is about, except it is about the famous San Andreas Fault. Most of us have seen the picture of devastation in 1906 during the California's earth quake caused by similar San Andreas fault. The whole city was destroyed. But not in the case with this movie. Of course there are some CGI scenes with the collapsed building, broken road, damaged bridges and fires (although I have no idea, why there is always fire) and to complete the danger, a high voltage cable which is floating around to kill people.

It is always a disgraced brilliant scientist which no one believe who developed the method of finding the most important information to support the story. Since nobody believe her, our hero has to go half across the state of California to save her family. I am not sure who give the background information on the technology, but when your cellphone does not work, logically the wireless equipment also not working ? Right ? Wrong...., because in this movie, your cellphone quit working but your other wireless equipment will also quit working, but not in this case; the wireless equipment that is showing the earth-quake keeps on having the internet connection and feeding the data as well even after the big quake happens.

Of all the things that defy the logic, I would not think that in the earth-quake situation, you will try to go through the underground tunnel to reach a place. I would have thought underground tunnel is one of the most dangerous place to be, but not in this movie. All in all, I know this is a movie and you expect exaggeration on the story, but Asylum is really making this movie with the assumption that most (if not all) the viewers are stupid idiot.

I wonder, whether in real life this kind of movies really has any fans. To copy-cat the movie is okay, but do it with more effort, not just with the attitude of neither here nor there.....

From the cinema trailer i expected totally something else. I literally wasted 80 minutes of my life. This crap movie does not either deserve one star. I think i can be a better actor than that second hand actors and i am a musician. So predictable, so lame, a piece of %%$# in other words. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE! It's horrible. I can't even imagine that a movie can be so horrible. I though that i watch cartoons at some point. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL MY RATING: -10/10. I can't even write something about this movie because there is nothing to write, it's a very very very bad scenario, forget everything i said. EVERYTHING is bad in this movie. Don't Watch it! You'l have nightmares.

The film gets 1/10 for the plot, but the acting is lame and unconvincing, the dialogue predictable, and the special effects laughable. Especially the hippo. Disney hippos were more convincing in Fantasia.

The stock footage of a giraffe in the African Savannah, shoehorned into footage of two people in an LA canyon took some balls. Also there is no way a couple celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary by buying a diamond necklace, would have booked a dirty bedroom full of cheap furniture and a nursing home chair in an expensive hotel.

Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful. Although it did make me laugh out loud several times, at each WTF!! moment.

Avoid.

For every blockbuster movie (sorry Dwayne Johnson) there is a spin off...or rip off take your pick.

Whilst not a fan of of spin off's I decided to see this one and it turned out to be a waste of 80+ minutes. If you are thinking of watching this, wait until it comes out on the SyFy channel or something and if you have absolutely nothing to do with your time except count sheep.

With these kind of earth altering event movies, you of course have to through some notion of reality out of the window. The question then is then in this span of imaginative film, is it at least believable? No. The acting wasn't very believable although to give them credit, the budget on assumption couldn't have been that much.

The storyline was of course weak, and there was no way it could be any different either. How much of a story could you develop from earthquakes? Charlton Heston carried his movie (years ago) but these actors aren't a speck off his caliber.

With that said, the lead actors do not carry the movie either so whatever fragment of story is there isn't really held together too well.

Save your time, go and watch the blockbuster version. This is a SyFy flick at best.