Piranha Sharks

I purchased this movie from Amazon, well expecting it to be a low budget creature feature, although I had hoped that it would be one of those fun ones; you know, the ones that are so bad that they are actually fun to watch. But that was not the case with "Piranha Sharks".

First of all, the DVD was titled "Jurassic Piranha". Wait, what? Seriously? How could the movie end up with a title so deviant from its original title, unless it being an attempt to cash in on something else. Especially since there was nothing even remotely prehistoric about the creatures in the movie. They were man-made and tinkered with in a Laboratory.

Right, well moving on. The story is about a company which have the idea of cross-breeding sharks and piranha, and selling them as pets to families. The creatures, of course, grow quickly, have an endless appetite and start to mutate. Soon the entire city of Manhattan is in dire peril at the ferocity of these vicious toothy fishy killers. And it is up to a small group of local exterminators to save the entire city of Manhattan from extermination, be it from the piranha sharks or from the US government who wants to drop nuclear bombs to contain the piranha sharks.

Indeed. Yeah, that was the scope of the ludicrous storyline. Simple? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Entertaining? No.

The CGI effects in "Piranha Sharks" is among the top three of bad special effects that I have ever witnessed in a movie. It was so bad that it went beyond bad. Trust me.

And the acting in the movie was as to be expected from a movie of this genre and type. But I had never expected an actor like Kevin Sorbo to appear in a movie such as this.

I still managed to sit through the entire movie, despite it being so bad. Why? Well, I was hoping that it would get better, or at least turn into something so bad that it would be funny. But no, it just kept on being bad in a bad way. Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Piranha Sharks".

I am rating "Piranha Sharks" a mere one out of ten stars.

First things first, will admit to not expecting much. The premise sounded ridiculous and it looked pretty bad. Even when trying to find some good in them, although there are good ones ('Jaws' being the king of them all) and some guilty pleasure ones shark films generally have not scored highly with me even when trying to take them for what they are.

Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Piranha Sharks' are not ones to be taken seriously. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films). There are marginally worse shark films than 'Piranha Sharks' certainly. Sadly 'Piranha Sharks' is just too amateurish to accept as a guilty pleasure, where nearly everything is just poor quality that it's insulting and there is nowhere near enough fun, intentional or unintentional, moments.

Was not expecting anything intelligent here, am well versed now to know that it is not that kind of film, but 'Piranha Sharks' does feel like it was made by somebody who didn't know how to give a film brains, so much so that it'll make the viewer feel dumb and that is not a nice sensation to feel watching a film.

'Piranha Sharks' does have a couple of small redeeming quality. The opening scene was actually pretty entertaining, something that put the viewer in the mood for some very dumb but guilty pleasure fun. Unfortunately, it rapidly fell downhill, where ridiculousness and cheapness amongst other things were taken to extremes.

Kevin Sorbo also tries his best to inject some energy into his role.

Visually, 'Piranha Sharks' is yet another low-budget shark attack film that looks cheap and like it was made with no budget, heart or enthusiasm. Any nice scenery that the movie has is difficult to appreciate when the movie is shot in such a drab way and when it's edited so amateurishly that bacon-slicer-like editing looks more refined. Worst of all in this regard are the effects, as it was made on low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the shark look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore.

The opening scene apart, so the shark's lack of presence or personality, it's not menacing, it's not scary and it's not fun, it's not even strong enough to bring any unintentional humour or goofiness, that's how bland it is. The music is very generic and adds very little, it's not always appropriate either and quite a lot of it is actually pretty annoying.

Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go. Regarding the shark attacks, some are rushed, others are badly drawn out. They lack any kind of suspense and the over-silliness to the point of intelligence-insulting stupidity, terrible shark effects, bad editing and even more gratuitous gore further cheapen them.

Describing the story as weak is being too insulting to the word weak, it is a very lethargically paced and thin as ice story with lots of padding that is either badly written or serves no point at all to the movie, other than attempts at novelty value, which falls flat on its face because it all feels so tired. It is not fun, it is not scary and it is not thrilling or suspenseful, it's just nothing but tired stupidity.

As for the characters, that they're tired cliches isn't so much a problem, the problem is that they are either obnoxious with them constantly doing stupid things, so bland that it makes zombies seem more animated or both. Some of them are superfluous to the story or come and go out of nowhere constantly. The direction is as flat as a pancake, and the acting is amateur hour awful, apart from Kevin Sorbo trying his best.

Overall, a mess. 1/10 Bethany Cox

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Bad acting, bad talks, bad scenes and bad graphics. The piranha sharks are like a joke and the characters are kinda dumbs. Don't wast your time watching this movie.

Piranha Sharks (2014)

** (out of 4)

A bunch of lab people create sharks that are the size of piranhas but contain just as much danger. Soon these are being sold as "hot Christmas items" but before long they begin eating people.

PIRANHA SHARK is pretty much what you'd expect out of a made-for-TV movie called PIRANHA SHARK. We've basically got a rather silly idea and all of the silly nature plays out in front of your eyes for the 80-minute running time. If you're already familiar with these types of movies then you know what to expect and for the most part this one here is decent. There are certainly much worse out there while this doesn't quite reach the levels of something like SHARKNADO.

I thought the actual highlight of the picture where the sharks because they were rather fun and the attack scenes were decent especially one lady who is taking a bath when the creatures show up. While this is the highlight of the film there's no doubt that the disappointment comes from the fact that there aren't enough of these scenes. There is way too much time with characters just rambling dialogue and it's too bad we didn't get more action.

The performances are pretty good for the most part with Kevin Sorbo getting the richer role as the Mayor who must please his voters or at least appear to. I thought Sorbo was rather fun in a role that joked on his looks to women and his way of being able to get away with anything.

PIRANHA SHARKS isn't a masterpiece, that's for certain but at the same time it's a decent "C" movie that has some mild entertainment.

I'm not going to enter a long review here. I will have a complete review at Ruthless Reviews, check us out. Anyway, about the movie... I thought that it was a pretty outstanding effort for what it was. Let's be realistic, these guys are going to lose money on this film, and I hate that. It was a great effort and a study in the concept of not letting your reach exceed your grasp. The acting was amazingly competent and hilarious. The editing and cuts were surprisingly crisp. I liked it, I really did.

I appreciate the "reach out" from the makers of the film. We were both appalled by the lasted Sharknado pile of **** from Asylum. I just wish that this film could have more exposure, but alas, it will die a unnoticed death.