Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

This is awesome, everything a good b grade movie should be except for being surprisingly low on gratuitous nudity given the subject matter.

Underrated movie methinks, i'd have it at least 2-3 rating points higher than jurassic world, i mean it's sh*t and ridiculous but at least it knows it's sh*t and ridiculous and doesn't pretend it isn't and didn't cost the GDP of a small nation to make.

The CGI is an embarrassment but that's OK cause you're too busy laughing at this movie jumping the shark by introducing us to prehistoric amphibious land sharks, the acting is a little better than horrendous which suits the tone of the movie perfectly.

There wasn't a great deal of logic or sanity in the making of this film, someone just said f*ck it i wanna make a movie about prehistoric sharks that are somehow also capable of swimming through land (no, i am serious really you need to watch this) and have them eat all these prison porn stars that are on the most ridiculous work release program ever.

Highly recommend :D

Sharks again, really? This time Traci "Controversy magnet" Lords and Dominique "It almost looked like I was going to have a decent career" Swain star in yet another shark film.

When a group of female prisoners transport gets hijacked it comes down to them and the prison guards to team up to fight off the onslaught of "Wait for it" Sharkasaurus's. Prehistoric sharks that can move through land as easily as water! As you can imagine it's pretty dire and the distinct lack of budget cripples it. If you can't afford to make a movie about these beasties then simply don't!

Ironically the most famous performers in this film are the worst actors, maybe they just can't be assed anymore. Could you if you were in a movie called Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre?

The Good:

Couple of decent enough performances

The Bad:

WTF level cgi

Generic, clichéd, the works

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Every shark movie creator thinks that a giant shark can swim & sneak up on people in a foot of water

Men are non-committal, women are mysterious

Traci Lords should have stuck to porn

This film is rather unique in that it combines the horror of a "shark movie" with the implicit sexuality of a "Woman-in-Prison" film while maintaining a made-for-television format. To that effect there isn't much gore, sex or nudity. However, there are a number of attractive actresses and plenty of action to keep things interesting for the most part. I especially liked the presence of Dominique Swain (as "Honey") and Christine Nguyen ("Michelle Alika") but there were several other young ladies that certainly brightened the scenery as well. On the other hand, the special effects were quite bad and the ridiculous plot involving prehistoric sharks that are able to move about on both land and water certainly didn't help this film overcome its low-budget nature to any degree. But let's face it, this movie was never intended to win an Academy Award in the first place. That being said, although I doubt most viewers will probably enjoy this particular picture, I found it somewhat entertaining--in spite of its rather obvious flaws--and for that reason I have rated it a bit higher than it might deserve. Slightly below average.

When a fracking environmental accident rips apart the earth's crust, the resulting hole lets out prehistoric sharks from underground. The sharks target a group of women and trap them in a cabin.

So, what is there to be said about this film? Jim Wynorski filmed in Florida, primarily because of the need for a cave, but also because his investors were Florida-based Cubans. He brought along actress Amy Holt, who has worked with Wynorski a few times, and included Traci Lords, who went mainstream thanks to Wynorski. Lords gives possibly her worst performance ever, and is cast in a role that really has nothing to do with the primary story.

I was not expecting much going into this film. I knew it was made-for-TV, and I've seen enough of Wynorski's work to know that his best years are long, long behind him. I had a little bit of hope because Tony Randel was attached as an editor and producer, and his name still carries weight. Randel brought along his daughter, Sofia Randel, who designed the main title sequence. That was canceled out by Traci Lords, who is grossly overrated and still somehow skirting by on her notoriety.

As cheesy as the CGI might be, allegedly it had even worse CGI the first time around and they had to call a second company in to redo it. Even the second company seemed to have a problem with continuity -- ground displaced by sharks in one moment is back in place the next. There were also legal complications, thanks to a meth-smoking production assistant. Never mind some of the plot nonsense, like the forced romantic moments and the so-called "first edition" of Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities" (which adds nothing to the story).

The film has a few nods or homages, such as to "Journey to the Center of the Earth". Also, Wynorski has always loved "Attack of the Crab Monsters" and wanted to remake it. He has said a script was written, but Roger Corman "didn't want to do it -- he thinks too much of the original film to do a remake." Wynorski was able to sneak in a reference or two to "Crab Monsters" here.

The best anyone can hope for with these sorts of movies is that they are so bad they cross back over into good again, because we can laugh at how stupid they are. I'm afraid to say this one never crosses over. It tries, and the Asian jokes are funny... but it seems to expect to be carried by trashy women with big breasts. I suppose for some people that's all you need.

Wynorski's next film, "Cobragator", was also filmed in the same Florida town, though financially backed by different producers. So look forward to seeing some of the same sets when that hits your screen in the summer of 2016.

This movie was actually pretty good for a terrible shark movie. The only thing that really hurts it is the gigantic plot hole near the end.