Colpi d'amore

Set in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) is seemingly a successful realtor who will help you find your dream home. However, following an encounter with an assassin known as the Raven (Mustafa Shakir), Marvin finds his new life under threat from his old one as the re-emergence of his last kill, Rose (Ariana DeBose), whom he didn't actually kill puts him on a collision course with his estranged gangster brother Alvin "Knuckles" Gable (Daniel Wu).

Love Hurts is the latest genre film from 87North Productions, better known for their production of the John Wick series of films that helped redefine modern action cinema. The film marks Ke Huy Quan's first lead role following his Oscar winning comeback in Everything Everywhere All at Once and while I think Quan is perfectly capable of headlining a film like this, I just wish it were a more interesting one.

While Quan doesn't have the richest role as Marvin, I will say that there is sort of a meek charm at watching this small unassuming realtor unleash martial arts fury upon hoards of would be assassins. If Jackie Chan (at his peak anyway) could be described as Buster Keaton with martial arts, Quan's style is more akin to Harold Lloyd where there's a bit more of an edge to the disaster prone hi-jinks. Honestly during the opening 20 minutes I didn't really understand why the movie had been so panned by critics as some of the physical comedy seemed on point and the fight scenes had the typical 87North quality....but then the movie started to lose me. Running at only 87 minutes long the movie isn't unaware of what it is and gets right to the point, but that's kind of part of the problem as there isn't a lot of time spent developing character or setting up the circumstances.

When you compare Love Hurts to 87North's other comedic action film Nobody which had a solid and efficient first act establishing the mid-life stagnation of Bob Odenkirk's character that set up effective contrast to the more outlandish elements later on, Love Hurts dives in way too fast and we don't really get a chance to know the characters beyond the surface level. The movie encounters further issues with Ariana DeBose' Rose and the actions taken by her character which the movie tries to frame as being for Marvin's benefit but because we never took time to establish Marvin's life we don't know that and it seems like she's nuking his new life because "why not?". The movie per its title also tries to paint itself as a romantic unconventional Valentine's Day film clunkily establishing a romance between Marvin and Rose along with Marshawn Lynch's King and Andre Erisken's Otis discussing marital problems or Marvin secretary Ashley played by Lio Tipton falling for poetic assassin Raven played by Mustafa Shakir and while occasionally there's a sequence that works, most of it just feels limp especially in comparison to 87North's The Fall Guy which mixed action and romantic comedy much more effectively. Even the usually reliable fight work loses integrity in the final act as there's a disappointing number of cuts and close-up shots that make the final fight so underwhelming.

Love Hurts isn't without some charms (most of them courtesy of Quan), but the film never fully comes together in a way the marketing promises and it feels like a half-hearted remix of prior 87North productions that did similar things much more successfully. Quan's more than capable of headlining a film like this, I just wish the film itself were better.

I liked this film. It didn't blow me away, but it was entertaining -- fast-paced, humorous, and filled with great martial arts action sequences. The performances were all great too -- a lot of great supporting characters, and I am never going to say no to a Ke Huy Quan film. But even though Ariana DeBose did a fine job as Rose, I can't help feel that the studio should have gone with a more seasoned actress for this role. For someone who was supposed to be Quan's love interest, there was a noticeable difference between the two leads' ages. They're more than 20 years apart in real life, and it shows. It's not that this kind of May-December romance isn't possible, but it's distracting -- even a little creepy. Whoever cast this film would have done everyone a favor by bringing in someone who seemed a more natural love interest for Quan, rather than just being Hollywood's most recent "it girl."

Jonathan Eusebio's Love Hurts is the kind of action-comedy that Hollywood needs more of-smart, stylish, and overflowing with charm. Blending breakneck fight sequences with razor-sharp wit, this film delivers a delightful mix of heart-pounding action and laugh-out-loud moments, anchored by a stellar ensemble cast.

At the center of the mayhem is Ke Huy Quan, who shines as Marvin Gable, a reformed assassin turned real estate agent whose past literally comes knocking at his door. Quan brings an effortless blend of charm, physicality, and comedic timing to the role, making Marvin an instantly likable protagonist. Ariana DeBose is equally captivating as Rose, Marvin's former target-turned-long-lost love, injecting the film with an irresistible blend of danger and allure.

The supporting cast elevates the film even further. Daniel Wu's ruthless yet magnetic portrayal of Alvin "Knuckles" Gable makes for a formidable antagonist, while Mustafa Shakir's smooth but untrustworthy Renny Merlow adds layers of intrigue. However, one of the biggest scene-stealers is Marshawn Lynch, who, as the knife-wielding, poetry-loving Raven, delivers an unexpected comedic performance that lands every time. His dynamic with Kausar Mohammed's hilariously disillusioned assistant Ashley brings a fresh and quirky romance into the mix.

Eusebio, best known for his stunt choreography in John Wick and Birds of Prey, makes his directorial debut with a film that showcases his mastery of action. The fight sequences are kinetic and creative, blending gun-fu, brutal hand-to-hand combat, and even a real estate closing that turns into an all-out brawl. The choreography is crisp, inventive, and never overstays its welcome, keeping the film's energy consistently high.

Beyond the action, Love Hurts boasts a script filled with sharp dialogue and genuine laughs. The film balances its over-the-top violence with heartfelt moments, never losing sight of its central theme: embracing both the past and the future. The Valentine's Day backdrop adds an ironic touch of romance, with love-whether rekindled, newfound, or hilariously misguided-woven into every plot thread.

By the time the final showdown unfolds, Love Hurts has delivered a rollercoaster of adrenaline, humor, and heart. With its pitch-perfect cast, breathtaking action, and unexpectedly sweet moments, this film cements itself as a must-watch for fans of Mr. & Mrs. Smith and The Nice Guys.

LIKES: Fun Funny Some Good Fights The Acting Is Involved Some Deeper Meanings Fun Subplots Summary: The synopsis I gave will hopefully set the tone that this movie is not a serious entry into the movie collection by any means. It's goofy, and that goofiness is fun to watch and get lost in for a short amount of time to just give your mind a break. Love Hurts is a comedy before anything else, as it combines a lot of elements that are hilarious to enjoy. Pokes at Martial Arts movies, more jabs at the Valentine empire, and the folly of modern loves. I enjoyed the overdramatic delivery of one character, making every piece of advice comical, while another's somber and poetic tones are strange and time perfectly to be funny rather than disturbing. There are plenty of insults, slapstick humor, and environmental mishaps that feel like a silly version of John Wick, and it worked well on many parts for me in that pure spectacle Eusebio directed it toward achieving. Speaking of fights, the action scenes sometimes nail the choreography to be exciting, impressive, and unique with the kung fu of Bruce Lee meeting the humor of Jackie Chan. Love Hurts made me... well... hurt when you see some of the blows that Quan throws in this movie at the extras. It's violent, it's fast(ish), and feels a bit like a video game with the props and planning that this movie adopted. It leads to a fast and fun pace that keeps your brain numb, and a movie like this is enjoyable when you go in with such a mindset.

There are a few deeper elements to the film, the main plot of Marvin's tale holding elements much more in tune with character growth and reflections on life. It's spiritual and almost meditative, a relevant character who is looking for happiness and finding it means that many characters don't quite match up with in other films. Other characters surprisingly have a bit more bite to them as well, not just secondary characters, but tertiary ones whose subplots are cute, entertaining, and offer a little anchor away from the violence that is the main plot. The little dance they do is all in line with the spirit of fun, and the actors all manage to be very fun and immersed in the movie, though a few seem less committed to the characters and don't bring their A-game as they do in other works. Still, Love Hurts surprised me with the expansion into other tributaries to help provide some balance.

DISLIKES Too Violent/Aggressive Withy Language Plot is Cliché/Predictable Subplots are underdeveloped/rushed Fighting comes off stiff at times The Acting Is Inconsistent Too Stupid At Times Too Little Time To Juggle Everything Summary: The movie is extreme in a lot of ways, though, and the result is a movie being chopped up and a little lacking in many elements to make some of the points fall for me. The acting is, for the most part, appropriate, most of the cast having fun with their parts and just letting their dramatic personalities unfold in manners very appropriate for the film. It's just not consistent, and some of the actors feel a tad dry and uncommitted to the role, only managing to give me convincing performances in the film. The plot is cliché and predictable, any attempts at twists washed away by the excessive comedy sweeping away the serious plot twists and character developments. The subplots suffer in their length and feel lacking or hastily tied up with a single-shot montage that feels shallow and kind of benign. As for the dialog, well, the movie gets aggressive with the foul language, losing the spice factor for that "realistic" angle that so many people seem okay to have. As. If this weren't enough, the movie also starts to run into problems with the action elements for a viewer like me. The film pays homage to the great fights well, but many times, it feels stiff, uncoordinated, and repetitive in the embellishments they took with this film. I don't know how legit the fights are, but Love Hurts seems a bit blocky and forced battles (like the Acolyte) and gets paired with John Wick damage syndrome that loses an edge when you see how much punishment our "hero" can take. All of this comes out very stupid and silly at times, leaving me bored and wishing to steer away from the comedy elements to meet closer to the middle or add some more unique and coordinated elements to make up for the cliché. All-in-all, most of these things could have been improved secondary to having more time, the eighty-two minute run time not giving much wiggle room to keep all these tales and characters in an appropriate balance, in my opinion. About twenty more minutes could have done wonders for this film, or perhaps cleaned up the cast a tad more to not cram so many thin strings into this complex web.

The VERDICT Love Hurts is another fine edition of the Valentine film parody that is very entertaining to watch. It's simply kung fu in an odd love story, and that ridiculous summary extends into the film's comedic focus with action elements to support the fast-paced film. You'll find plenty of styles to laugh at, alongside some awesome fights that feel closer to real-life anime than the actual real-life anime films we have. The pace is just purely fun, but other plots might stoke the fires of hope and well-being if you pay attention to them. However, this odd combination is not going to win much in the general audience, depending on your tolerance for violence, excessive language, and the amount of stupid humor and aggressive comedy you'll get in the short run time. Love Hurts has a lot of potential, but it's squandered by how short the film is and how many characters/sub-plots they tried to weave together in that time frame. Is it the worst thing to hit theaters? No, but the movie still needs a little more polish, planning, and precision to be worth the full recommendation to see in the theater. It's definitely going to be action lovers and comedy junkies who can't get enough as the niche audience, while the majority will probably get the most at watching at home. My scores for Love Hurts are: Action/Comedy: 6.5-7.0 Movie Overall: 6.0-6.5.

What surprised me most about this movie is that it was released in cinemas instead of straight to a streaming service. The movie is the same as a thousand other action movies released in the last 15 years, the only difference is the actors on screen

One Man Army who no longer wants to fight - Check Hitman who is really a kind hearted person - Check Female major character who is both the love interest and looks good while kicking butt - Check Quirky side characters who talk nonsense that is supposed to sound cool - Check Main Bad Guy who is controlled with bouts of super violence - Check Highly Choreographed Action Scenes where everyone gets punched, stabbed, shot and smashed but are still able to fight with no signs of injury - Check

Ke Huy Quan is adorable as heck, but at no point does he seem like he could hurt anyone.

If you want a quick 90 minute action movie where you don't have to follow a fancy plot then you will probably enjoy this movie.

Ariana DeBose seems to forget she's in a movie at times and stops acting, and it looks horrible.