Bad Things

Bad Things (2023) is a movie that was recently added to Shudder. The storyline follows a group of friends who are being supportive to a friend who recently inherited a hotel and hopes to either run it or sell it with her mom. It quickly becomes apparent that something isn't right and they believe it's someone not something causing their concern. Is the hotel haunted, is someone messing with them, or is it both?

This movie is written and directed by Stewart Thorndike (Lyle) and stars Gayle Rankin (Men), Hari Nef (Barbie), Annabelle Dexter-Jones (Ravage), Rad Pereira (Betty), Jared Abrahamson (Fear the Walking Dead) and Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles).

This had some unique elements and reminded me of a poor man's The Shining...like if it took place in the Poconos. The acting was actually pretty solid. There's some mental state subplots that were interesting. The characters are pretty unique too. Unfortunately, there was little to no horror elements until the very ending...then the last 15 minutes was impressive. The twists at the end actually surprised me that it was worthwhile with such a poor setup. There's some cool kills at the very, very end...but other than that this is fairly stale. I would score this a 4.5-5/10 and recommend seeing it once only for horror enthusiasts.

It's easy to dismiss Bad Things as the queer version of The Shining but initially, at least, there are a few ideas worth appreciating here. This should ideally have been centered around Gayle Rankin's Ruthie.. and her trauma, manifestations, and slow descent into absolute chaos. Instead, writer-director Stewart Thorndike randomly shifts perspectives (especially when things begin to get interesting) to the other characters, taking us out of the one-woman-breakdown thread, and desperately trying to blur the lines between what's real and what's not. The entire episode then feels like a pointless exercise in the end, mostly because the perspective then transitions back to Ruthie's and we once again witness her losing her mind.

Also, the scenes that were supposed to induce a creepy feeling absolutely fail to do so. The shots of random people showing up at the restaurant, at the facade, and elsewhere, are laughably executed. If the hotel and its snowy surroundings had terrible history, then we ought to have known that because that'd have added to the atmospherics. I did like how the story incorporated Molly Ringwald's character into the film, and while not a surprise, it's nicely woven into the proceedings. When it comes to performances, I think the cast did a fairly decent job. That's one reason why the film is perfectly okay to sit through, even when it fails on the narrative and horror-inducing fronts.

The actors in this movie made you believe in their characters. Their actions, reactions, and incidental chatter sounded like people really talk.

Unfortunately that's the only nice thing I can say about this movie. The setting and setup is great... if Stephen King hadn't thought of it half a century ago. The direction is uneven, sprinkling a few interesting scenes into an hour-and-a-half of ennui. And the writing.... Four characters that I cared nothing about, trying to survive, or not, whatever. This movie-other than the actors-came across like the product of a high school English assignment from an ineffective teacher: "Write a new ending for 'The Shining.' And remember, if less is more, then nothing must be everything!"

For whatever reason I was swept up in the lesbian melodrama and I've frankly never seen Molly Ringwald looking so hot...but an opportunity was missed here. Instead of trying so hard to pretend this is The Shining (it's most definitely not The Shining) why not accept that Ruthie inherited a crappy motel and not a "hotel"? No one in their right mind thinks the building used in this film is a hotel, or that it was ever "the Four Seasons of the 80s." The motel portrayed here is a stock standard roadside motel and this movie could have been a lot scarier if it were treated as such. There is a lot more gritty dirt you can dig up in such a place - suicidal loners, teenaged drug-addled runaways, murders of street prostitutes in the days before GPS and cell phones (which was a real terrifying true thing, in the 70s and 80s - sex workers were constantly targeted before things like Internet and DNA testing). Plus on top of that there could have been the story about Ruthie's bad childhood and relationship with her mom.

But as it is, Bad Things is only fair-to-middling and because of the way it's presented it just keeps reminding you that it's Not the Shining, which is certainly a bad thing.

If this little gem is any indication, Shudder seems to have switched from producing horror films to producing horrific ones. The meager attempts to be scary in this script are bits lifted from other movies. Unfortunately these bits are so poorly directed they only serve to stir up unfavorable comparisons to the originals they were heisted from. Instead of the spooky little girls of The Shining, the hall of this film's hotel is haunted by two lithe young women jogging in place, looking like rejects from a failed aerobics program. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is also represented, and for more than one reason I wish the chainsaw wielding actor was wearing a mask like Leatherface.

Production values are rock bottom. A potentially creepy location is completely wasted on the milksop screenplay. Why there's a "production designer" listed in the credits is a total head scratcher. I would love to know what exactly they did to transform what appears to be a recently vacated hotel into what appears to be a recently vacated hotel. But maybe I'm wrong. Despite one character describing the place as "the Four Seasons of the 80s" it looks more like a Target shopping center converted into a Holiday Inn.

The costumes are a mixed bag ranging from ridiculous to hot. In one scene an actress appears wearing what can only be described as a clown gown ripped straight from the pages of a Zippy the Pinhead comic book. Earlier in the film we're treated to the same trans actress prancing through the halls in her underpants. We also get Molly Ringwold in a scorching red ensemble, looking absolutely delicious for a woman of any age.

If you're a fan of Shudder's agenda, which puts more emphasis on promoting progressive social values than providing scares, you might enjoy this tale of young LGBTQ+ lovers and friends wasting time in an empty hotel. Just sprinkle some No-Doz on yiour popcorn.