Kill, Granny, Kill!

I've seen plenty of 'slasher' films in my time, stretching from the seventies, right up until present day - they truly can be described as 'the good, the bad' and the 'truly mediocre.' However, I always have a soft spot when a movie calls itself by something so obvious, that you can't really hate it and, if you do, it's probably your fault for not using the title as a warning sign that it's not to your taste.

Guess what 'Kill, Granny, Kill' is about? If you said anything other than 'a killer grandma,' then you should probably not be watching films and concentrate on books with lift-up flaps in them.

Yes, a Granny is out to kill all those she feels are 'degenerates' and have strayed away from her generations' lifestyle. Kind of harsh, but despite me not being quite as old as her, I have to confess to feeling a similar sentiment every time I see my daughter using a certain Chinese social media app that everyone under the age of 21 seems to be addicted to.

So, that's about it - nice old lady on the outside - ruthless murderess on the inside. Oh, and she has an interesting way of disposing of the bodies. Makes me wonder what my own grandparents served me up whenever my mum and dad took me round to visit them at Christmas.

Perhaps the biggest selling point of this film is its length. It's very short, clocking in at just over an hour. It knows what it is. It knows it's silly and has a bit of a daft premise. And, because there's only so much you can do with a small idea, the film doesn't need to be overly long. And it isn't. So, even if you do hate it, it won't waste that much of your time. As for me... I thought it was quite good, silly fun for what it was.

Story: 1.25/2 - Direction & Pace: 0.75 & 0.50/4 - Performances: 1.00/2 - Entertainment: 1.00/2

Total - 4.50/10.

Have you ever found yourself trolling through the depths of low-budget horror films, desperately seeking a cinematic experience you'd describe as "unique?" If so, "Kill, Granny, Kill" might be the deranged masterpiece you never knew you needed. I won't lie; this movie is a wild rollercoaster of absurdity, armed with a cannibalistic granny wielding an axe and selling meat pies that would make even Sweeney Todd reconsider his career choices.

Let's start promptly with the positives because, believe it or not, there are some. In their quest to blend horror and humour, the writers have concocted a darkly delightful tale: Picture this - a granny with a penchant for butchering people and transforming them into culinary delights: Martha Stewart's cooking show meets "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," with a sprinkle of grandma's secret seasoning. Lamentably, the story's brilliance gets overshadowed by the film's less admirable quirks.

Now, let's address the wounded elephant in the room - the filmmaking. It's as if the director attended a workshop titled "How to Make Your Audience Dizzy 101." The too-close close-ups, the out-of-focus shots, and the shaky camera work are not just stylistic choices; they're an avant-garde exploration into the realm of "What on Earth did I just watch?" If you've ever wondered what a film would look like should the director have thrown the rulebook out of a moving car, look no further.

The pacing of the movie is a unique experiment in testing your patience. It's like a cat playing with its prey, dragging out scenes longer than Granny needs to cook a tasty treat. Tempo? It would appear the director never heard of it! But who needs a well-paced film when you have a granny on a killer cooking spree? Right?

The cast, ranging from average to okay, seems to have embraced their dreadful moments on camera, making for a bizarre mix of charm and annoyance. Granny, in particular, is the unsung hero, typically delivering a passable performance, which's a mile-and-a-half away from perfect but strangely captivating.

In conclusion, "Kill, Granny, Kill" is a cinematic oddity, a must-watch for fans of truly terrible B-movies. It's not quite the Plan 9 of the horror genre, but it successfully gains its Sergeant stripes for deliciously dreadful filmmaking. Therefore, grab your popcorn - or maybe a meat pie - and dive into the chaos. Just don't expect to rush back for any possible seconds.

Kill, Granny, Kill! tells the story of a cannibalistic grandma and her grandson who slay those they deem unworthy of life and against the teachings of Christ.

Grandma brings in a carer to live with her who must live by strict rules including no fornication!

I loved the cover art and though the budget is lacking it immediatly became apparent that they'd used the 100k very well as it looks great all things considered.

Though constructed and paced in the most bizzare way I've seen in months this is a just about passable affair. Not so much a slasher, or psychological but certainly horror.

The lead Kayla Perkins shines and demonstrates that she was simply too good for this movie, perhaps the writers were as well as much of the dialogue was considerably better than you'd expect from a film like this.

Though not entirely terrible Kill, Granny, Kill! is a heavily flawed movie that shows potential but just couldn't break through that glass ceiling and come out as something memorable.

Nice attempt regardless.

The Good:

Some surprisingly good writing

Lead is better than you'd expect

Great cover art

The Bad:

Some ropey sound work

Weirdly paced

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Carers scrub balls

The writers didn't understand the concept of irony

You can werk for food

I wasn't sure how I was gonna feel about this movie at first. I really loved the camera work and the whole 80s vibe I got from it (other than the use of computers and cell phones). The acting was not very good at all but that doesn't bother me much if everything else is good, and I can say that everything else was very good in KILL, GRANNY, KILL. Granny's one-liners were hit-and-miss, but I enjoyed them all the same. The camera work, the editing, the story (though simple it was still effective for a low-budget slasher), the location (I loved the old house) and the kills were pretty brutal at times. A couple scenes in particular really stood out. With a running time of just under 70 minutes, there was never a time that felt boring. All in all I give it a solid 6 out of 10.

This movie like most of Camp Motion Pictures releases was a lot of fun! It really reminded me of a film you would rent and watch with your friends in the 80s. I was actually surprised at how much i enjoyed this movie. The super cool artwork sold me! Now that's some killer art!

The script was above par for a micro budget movie. The granny had some really fun one liners! Crack Kills! Another thing that stood out is the locations. They were so much better than what you would usally see with this budget. The granny house had some Texas Chainsaw vibes and really provided the perfect backdrop for the movie.

I haven't watched any other films by this director, but he seems to have an eye for this type of movie. The camera work was pretty solid and the pace of the movie was good and i never felt bored.

The acting was surprisingly good! Standouts were the lady that played the granny and the lead Girl were really solid in their roles.

This is a perfect movie to have a few drinks with your friends and have a good laugh.

If you like low budget horror movies from the 80s, this might be for you!