Cooties

"Cooties" marks yet another rare exception of the "most horror-comedies suck" rule, joining the ranks of other such classics like "Shaun of the Dead" and "Zombieland." Why all three are zombie-themed is beyond me, but I suppose the natural tension of sneaking through and surviving a zombie infestation makes for some exasperated laughs.

Elijah Wood plays a 30-something elementary school teacher who we like because his character, apart from being a typical improbable hero, genuinely enjoys teaching and working with his students. He shares the screen with Rainn Wilson, who is surprisingly endearing, given how his character on the American version of The Office contributed to the awfulness of the show. Alison Pill, Jack McBrayer, and Nasim Pedrad round out the cast of quirky, 30-something faculty members who… don't seem all that great at their jobs. But it's a comedy, so incompetence in the public school system is funny (I guess.) Here's a question: why are none of the teachers 40 plus, and why are they all so trim? That seemed odd to me, but this is showbiz after all, and an elementary school isn't the sexiest of settings.

I enjoyed this movie because of its novel twist on the zombie tale-- children are the zombies. It's refreshing seeing kids twisted into savage monsters, kill violently, and be dealt with accordingly. Hollywood and western pop culture depict children as angelic simpletons: in most media, children are nothing more than vacantly smiling plot devices. But it's untrue: children can be every bit as crafty, cunning, and ruthless as adults. Apart from Lord of the Flies, I can't think of any other media depicting children so savage and cruel.

It's nice to see.

Cooties is about zombie children. That premise alone could come up with a lot of crazy ideas. And the movie does try to add up to that silliness; the characters are often too incompetent to face them. It's fun on paper, but the movie gets too confused by its focus. The characters are tough to care about and yet they get more of the center of this film. While there is some worthy sense of horror and worthy sense of humor, the movie doesn't have an exact direction where to go and it gets even confused with the plot, which eventually keeps stalling to unnecessary arcs that won't go anywhere in the end. Cooties overall feels like it's handling an unfinished script of a potential cult classic.

After the opening credits that reveals the source of this virus, the movie spends most of the time establishing its characters. Not that this is a bad narrative, but the characters it is trying to focus aren't really that interesting. The main protagonist is a writer out of luck, got strung to a love triangle and settle too much on that romance. The side characters are much interesting since they have something to involve in the actual plot; example is the socially awkward teacher who happens to know how to figure out the source and effects of the virus. He's basically a punchline, but he does more to this plot than the groan-worthy love triangle. Another one is a kid who was spared from the infected children who seems to be setup for a suspense of keeping him from becoming one of those zombie children, but that doesn't go anywhere either. And what's with the guy with the shrooms? In the end, these characters are either just one-noted or stereotypes, in both genres of comedy and horror.

When it's all about the horror, there is some really inspired moments; mostly at the night scene where there's a tricycle riding infected little girl wandering around the premises. There is a really effective amount of creeps to be found in those scenes. There's even one where they are being chased in a vent; in spite of its fast pace, the tension still works. But these worthy scenes are kinda few, most of them, while undeniably gross, is just as contrived as any horror film. It even occasionally just hides the monsters and just show their reactions. The cast did try to outweigh their roles, but hardly got the opportunity. Elijah Wood at least made his role sort of more charming than it should be. Rainn Wilson manages to ham it up to a role that doesn't exactly know what it's supposed to be.

Cooties doesn't feel like it has an ending, or at least the movie decided to be lazy instead in this conclusion. And of course, the climax! It's so rushed that it's supposed to be as charming and exciting as, let's say, Zombieland. But it doesn't deserve earning that since it mostly spends its time building up a romance that leads to nowhere. There is so much potential in this film that are mostly left out. While there is still some nice thrills, inspired horror movie moments and even sense of humor having these awkward unlikable comedy movie characters stuck in this darker genre, the film never becomes satisfying. It should have heightened more of its creativity; the tricycle girl is great, but how about an infected baby? I thought they were building that up to something more shocking. It's just ideas and violence being slapped together and never get to flourish. You may get some fine violence, creeps and laughs, but you'll suddenly realize that this atmosphere is hardly engaging.

A mysterious virus hits an elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives.

The start of this film will make you never want to eat chicken again. The cast includes some of my favorite funny stars: Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Alison Pill, Jack McBrayer, Saw's own Leigh Whannell and Lost's Leigh Whannell; with a quick non speaking cameo by Mark Christopher Lawrence who played in chuck. Everyone worked really well together and you can tell they enjoyed doing this film.

The story feels familiar but unique. Cooties is a horror comedy but it's more comedy and less horror but that doesn't talk away from the film. I enjoyed the gore and the practical effects, although there isn't much of a soundtrack, mostly dark ominous tones. The humor is a bit dry and I wish there were more one lines.

The movie is forgettable but is fun and worth a watch. I would like to see a sequel, so don't let this indie film pass you by. Cheers and remember life won't suck as long as there is a good movie to watch.

6 out of 10

edited by Samantha Locke

twitter @FatMikeTPK

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FatMikesMovieReviews

So I went into this with fairly high expectations. I love horror/comedies and this one looked very promising, funny premise, great cast, and zombies (who doesn't love zombies?). It wasn't a bad movie by any means but it did let me down a little bit.

First off the main thing that killed my buzz with this was how unlikable Elijah Wood's character was, I get that they were doing this on purpose but the scenes with him in them just made me get more and more irritated with his character. It's not that Wood did a bad job or anything, it's just that some of the lines that were written for his character were almost cringe worthy bad. That character however was more than made up for by how awesome Rainn Wilson's character was, some of his lines were gold.

A lot of the jokes were great, I found myself laughing out loud multiple times, but some of them just fell short and didn't really work at all. For the most part though the humor works well and helps to move along the movie. I think the main thing that really kept this movie from being great is that the Horror concept of it kind of gets put on the back burner to the comedy in too many scenes. I really wish they would have thrown more horror elements in. There are far too many scenes of the survivors just sitting in various rooms of the school trading mediocre-pretty decent dialogue.

Overall this wasn't bad, in fact it was a good movie. I was entertained and had a fun time watching it. But it could have used a bit more gore and horror and a little less mediocre jokes. Still a good ride though.

6.5/10

I have a really tough time figuring out what people want from the Horror genre nowadays. I am really surprised to see this movie doesn't have a higher rating on here. This is a great Horror/Comedy movie, with an outstanding cast, and very good writing. It's just a really gory, really funny, really run movie. What you see in the trailer is what you get, which is nice for a change with the amount of misleading trailers nowadays. The only reason I don't give it an even higher rating is because I agree with other viewers that it does lag a bit around the middle of the film. It almost seems like they just shoved some filler in to meet a running time. But it manages to get back on track again. I rarely read reviews on here, but I laughed out loud and had a great time watching this movie.