Coffin

Around 13 to 14.5 minutes a Woman is seen in just a bra and underpants and after she gets dressed cleavage can still be seen.

The plot: A psychopath puts Kevin Sorbo and his mistress in a coffin. They only have 70 minutes of air, and time is running out. In the meantime, the mistress's husband races to save them, though he's not entirely sure that he wants to.

Let's just get to the chase here: this is a limp Saw clone. Nothing I say will dissuade hardcore Kevin Sorbo or Saw fans from watching this, of course, but I feel that it's my duty to warn everyone else who's on the fence. Normally, low budget movies with poor acting don't bother me much (I'm a Troma fan), but this was laughably bad! The antagonist was so non-threatening, it was like he was played by Stephen Fry. He tried his best to be "a total pro", but it came across as being pathetic. I could see shades of Jigsaw and Heath Ledger's Joker, but it was like one of your hammy friends doing his best impression (which isn't very good), rather than a professional actor. The rest of the acting was pretty standard for a B movie, though Bruce Davison obviously stands out as a talented actor. Kevin Sorbo isn't bad, but his role is somewhat limited, being that he's trapped in the titular coffin. The directors turn up as cops investigating the case. Surprisingly, they're pretty decent actors. Can't really think of anything nice to say about their writing or directing, though.

I've seen worse, but this is still memorably bad.

If they'd cast a better actor for the antagonist, this might creep up to a 5/10, which isn't really all that much better, but he really ruins this movie. There isn't much violence, gore, nudity, or even profanity in this movie, which makes it perhaps the most curiously inhibited Saw clone that I've ever seen. Perhaps it was meant to be more of a generic thriller, then took on aspects of Saw? Who knows. Who cares. It's a bad movie, and I'm not going to sit here thinking about it.

Not one character acts like a normal human. Hercules has a moment when his character says to a woman " I can't believe a woman like you would date a loser like me" he's older than his Hercules character but it's ridiculous. The villain if you can call this little kid that is so over the top he makes Jack Nicholson's Joker seen like a portrayal of Abraham Lincoln. But that seems unfair since all the acting Is much like a kindergarten Christmas play. I'm not sure exactly why they didn't get the actual Iggy Popp for the villain but I'm convinced he would have been better than the tiny 50 year old man that has bangs Hanging down like a clinically depressed middle school goth girl. This movie was a waste of time and money, the plot while it's been done a million times was done so poorly it's funny and it's clear the ending was supposed to have a Shymalanian Sixth Sense sort of twist ending it seemed much more like an episode from Scooby Doo and it even has a pulled off the mask " I would have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids" moment just far more contrived and much less fun.

Perfect example to trick the unknown buyers of flicks. Buried (2010) was a must see, so they tried to copy the title, face it, coffin has a lot to do with buried. On the other hand the sleeve also looks very closely to Buried.

But the story is something completely different. We do have two people who are buried in a coffin but there's more going on. It looked promising with the masked villain but once he changed his hood for shades it became ridiculous. And the acting wasn't worth watching too.

Still if you do like thrillers with a plot change then you may like it but it did have an overall low budget look. I just wasn't involved into the characters. No suspense at all just sitting there and thinking at the end, okay but nothing special. I could have known it, it was here already on the sale shelves when it came out.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 0/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 0/5

Some reviewers are trying their best to be kind to this film, but it's undeserved. The script is so format, so trite, that it's embarrassing. And the lines are delivered in the most standard way, as if the actors learned by watching awful movies. So much of the emotional delivery is unwarranted, or at least doesn't flow naturally as if real people were talking. It's stilted. It's unreal. It's hamming it up like crazy. My sense is that good acting really couldn't help this script but better actors could have tried. It's frustrating because the script could have been doctored and the actors could have worked harder (or casting might have gotten better ones) because the sets, cinematography, and even the story was not so terrible--it was the execution.