The Pickup Game

I very disturbing, troubling and unfortunately honest 'unveiling' of what happens all day everyday. This should not be surprise to those that have no idea or understanding of what happens in this world today.

Saw this recently at Hotdocs in Toronto and I have to say I was left sooo frustrated. Why did two middle class straight white male directors decide to be the feminist voice on this problematic issue? Don't get me wrong, I admired the activism attempts in the film to fight misogyny and toxic masculinity but why not give female directors and producers a real voice? There was also no mention of issues surrounding the gay and trans dating scene and the problems within. Sigh.

This film intrigued me for several reasons: I had read Neil Strauss's book The Game when it was released (probably like everybody else of my generation) and knew a few friends who had dabbled in this scene. So I was curious to check it out.

Without revealing any spoilers, I will just say that no one could have scripted an investigative film that would have had as much impact as this documentary does. It's intense and very disturbing.

But for all the darkness in the movie, it actually feels quite balanced and fair. A lot of the material comes across in a unique and un-obvious way. Certainly not how you would expect it to from the title.

This thing is tight though -- and fascinating, and frightening. One to watch and one I have recommended to everyone I've discussed it with.

This haunting, heartbreaking and disturbing film takes us into the hidden world of pick-up artists and the seduction schools they run.

We get a close up of how these schools work, the kind of things they teach and how these teachings are put into practice. I'm sure other women will recognize some of the tactics that are shown in this film. I know I did. Forewarned is forearmed as they say.

And yet, as much as I was appalled by the behavior of many of the people in it, there were aspects of it I could relate to. And this is what makes the film such a challenging viewing experience. Almost as if it's trying to remind us of our humanity. I couldn't help but feel for the shy, socially awkward men that get caught up in this world. Clearly some of them come into it with the best intentions. Although it doesn't necessarily stay that way.

The Pickup Game is a tough watch, but it feels essential, not just for its vivid picture of a fascinating, deeply troubled crisis of masculine identity, but also for its wider significance: as a plea for people to stop being so horribly selfish and transactional. Almost as if it's a call for us to return to our basic humanity and rediscover genuine connection with each other.

While it's true that RSD and the other pickup mentors are looking for your money.. they ARE a business. You've got to expect marketing in all walks of life.. from McDonalds to Hugo Boss to the friendly plumber down the street, they're all deploying marketing strategies to get your money.

That doesn't mean that what they're selling is snake oil, what they're selling genuinely works. Mostly it's like they open a window for you to snap out of your head and enter the real world and change your perspective.

Most of us have walked through life with social anxiety and have been petrified to leave the house (I was such a case). RSD totally turned this around for me, I even started going to the club ON MY OWN, SOBER... the guy who couldn't leave the house! So I'll never accept that what they're selling is fraudulent, it's a tool and people can use that tool or they can not see the tool they've been given.

That said, no the industry isn't squeaky clean. Yes, angry little men will abuse the trust of women with what they learn. But I fail to see how something can be used for so much good should be rejected by society.