Il custode

A single mum with a teenage son and a child daughter moves to a small town and buys the local mortuary to start a new life. As one could expect there is an urban legend concerning the house and its former inhabitants. Therefore it is unavoidable that the local teenagers go there to impress their girlfriends and do dumb things...

Soon after the family moves there the 'horror' begins as recently deceased persons start to raise as zombies. Then there is a lot of screaming. And a lot of running around. And a lot of bad acting. As well as a lot of horror film clichés and bad jokes. Sadly, there a zero scary scenes, zero surprising moments and zero original ideas in this movies.

I expected much better from Tobe Hooper, but that is what I got.

I'd been wanting to see "Mortuary" ever since I first read about it here on IMDb. I'm a pretty big Tobe Hooper fan, and while I hated his semi-recent "Crocodile", his "Toolbox Murders" remake was really good. This movie revolves around the Doyle family. Leslie Doyle (Denise Crosby of "Pet Sematary"), recently widowed, moves she and her two children, teenage Jonathan (Dan Byrd, "The Hills Have Eyes" remake), and her daughter (Stephanie Patton) to a decrepit house (with a graveyard for a front yard) in a small California town to start a funeral home. The house is disgusting and nearly falling apart, but Leslie hopes to fix it up, and begins her business. Jonathan is menaced by local teenagers, and falls for a girl at his workplace, Liz, and the two become friends. Then, after finding out her friend, Grady, is gay (thinking that the two were a couple), they begin kind of dating. But weird things are happening around the funeral home, and Liz tells Jonathan about the story of a deformed man who lived in the funeral home. Then people around the house start to die and an evil force begins to take over.

Tobe Hooper is great, I love most of his films (particularly the hailed classic "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre"), but his recent stuff hasn't been great. "Crocodile" was horrible and I was surprised he was even involved with it. But "Mortuary" is a fun little low budget horror flick that I really enjoyed. I loved the idea and the story was really well written, with plenty of creepy moments and some really creative sequences (particularly the last twenty minutes or so of the film). I haven't seen a horror film centered around a mortuary (or at least not one that comes to mind), and if you think about it, a funeral home is a great place to set a scary movie. The acting in this movie was very good, which was mildly surprising. This is the second performance I've seen from Dan Byrd, and he's got great potential. Denise Crosby, who played the wife in "Pet Sematary" is excellent as playing the mother, and was really creepy during her scenes where the 'evil presence' had taken control of her. Alexandra Adi, who played Liz, was a little weak at times, but overall not horrible.

Atmosphere in this film is really big. It really does feel like a small town - with typical country diners, and nosy police officers. And the house that the mortuary is set in was perfectly creepy and rundown, I loved the fact that it had a cemetery as a front yard - how much scarier of a house could you get? The main downfall of the film is the CGI special effects that are used. They aren't seen too often, but some of them were really bad, like something straight out of a B-horror movie. But this film is a B-movie in a sense, a good one though at that. The conclusion was quick and unexpected, and I was left kind of scratching my head, so that could've also been improved upon. Other than that though, I really liked the movie.

Overall, "Mortuary" is a watchable and fun, low budget horror movie. What it lacks in is made up for by the acting and the setting, and for the most part, the good outweighs the bad, and it's a notch above average. I guess you have to like this kind of thing to enjoy it, but I did. It's a throwback to those cheesy '80s horrors that we all know and love, and I thought Tobe Hooper did a fairly good job with it. Don't take this one too seriously though, that's for sure. 6/10.

Once again we have a horror movie that has an interesting premise, a somewhat good story and what happens? It just does not live up to its potential as it makes mistakes that turn it from a really good horror movie to a watered down horror movie that has you thinking what might have been. The story, mother moves herself and two children to a little town to start a new career as a mortician. Granted this in itself is a bit hard to believe a father may have been a more realistic choice to lead the film, but whatever I can role with it. The older teenage son is against this move and is the typical teen in that he voices his opinion against the house and everything about what his mom is doing...I usually don't care for that type, but here I have to agree with him. Why she bought the place is beyond me, as I do believe the house was made a bit to rundown to be realistic. I doubt anyone with any lick of sense would want to move in having seen that house beforehand. Well there are mysterious things going on and there is talk of a person who lives in the cemetery in the front lawn and all that and it could have been really good, however, it is so far fetched in some areas, it moves so slowly at first, and then it doesn't want to end. The deaths are not all that gory, a bit of gore here and there, but not all that much. At times the movie seems to be trying to be a horror comedy and this hurts the movie as well. I like horror comedies a bit (I really enjoyed the flick "Slither"), but don't half-heartedly go about it. Either be a horror comedy or go straight horror. Some scenes are a bit out of place thanks to this bizarre shift at times. The actors are the typical b-movie types and so they are okay. Then there is the use of cgi...I am against it in areas in this movie, why they felt they needed it for the last thing is beyond me. You could have made a realistic whatever it was with minimal effort and money and it would have looked a lot more real. And the ending had me going "Huh"? Don't show what you showed in the previous scene and then hit me with that typical 80's horror ending...by the way if you have seen two horror movies with this type of ending you will know what is going to happen. Still though if they had developed the story better, stayed away from the comedy bits, and explained the thing and Bobby better this movie could have been a pretty decent horror flick as it is it has good and bad and is really just a mediocre flick.

Mortuary is a horror film with the atmosphere of mystery, some gore scenes and zombies. The story is bizarre and, in fact, quite clichéd. A family moves to a small town where they plan on starting new life while running funeral home. The local appears to be on haunted ground. The first half of the film is atmospheric and well-developed. The acting is surprisingly good and convincing and all characters are pretty lively. The old neglected house surrounded by graveyard seems to be really spooky. Problems begin during the second half of the film when the film tries to be more brutal and extreme. This part is certainly undeveloped and pretentious as the origin of a black fungus has never been explained. Besides, characters behave in a stupid, illogical way, which really hurts in this pic. As far as technical side of the film is concerned, the cinematography and make-up of zombies are good. However, terrible CGI effects completely ruin the end of the movie. Although in many ways ridiculous and sloppy, Mortuary is a decent, quite scary horror movie which I can solely recommend to horror fans. Nevertheless, I've expected much more from Tobe Hooper.

This movie seemed to have a lot going for it in the beginning. An interesting story, a great location (who doesn't love old, decrepit houses with a cemetery in the front yard), and good performances (this is the third decent performance out of Dan Byrd that I've seen...he's got potential)...and for the first portion of the film, and had a great deal of atmosphere as well. Then something went horribly wrong; I'm not sure what, but as the movie began it's last half, it began to remind me of a spoof film I saw once called "Night of the Living Bread" (which is genius, by the way)...and I'm pretty sure, despite what some have said, that the movie was NOT meant to be a spoof. The lighting crew must've gone home, because you can't see a damn thing for the last 20 minutes except various facial features. The story became very confusing, as it couldn't focus on one of two villains...a deformed crazy-man living in a tomb, or an evil black fungus...hmmm. There was absolutely no climax to the film, and the end was so unbelievably predictable, that as it played out, I began to narrate it just a step ahead...and was spot on. *sigh*