Valentine - Appuntamento con la morte

Scenario: Studio big wig to hack producer--"We need a horror film for Valentines day--give me a storyboard(sketch) by the end of the week!". Next Week: Hack producer shows scene of guy in cupid mask shooting preppy chicks with arrows, nothing else--what else can you do for Valentines day? Studio big wig: "We cant keep up a film for an hour and a half with that crap--steal stuff from every hackneyed horror film you can think of--especially 'Scary Movie'".

Next week hack producer produces about 20 minutes of cool death scenes with some half baked originality.

Studio big wig: "I like it! now get me a cheap ghost writer to fill in the other hour and I think I can get Denise Richards!"

That's pretty much it, throw in a few relatives of some semi-famous actors looking for a break and you have "Valentine".

A bunch of good looking slasher scenes looking for a plot.

I hope Denise makes it big before her looks go!

"Valentine" is another horror movie to add to the stalk and slash movie list (think "Halloween", "Friday the 13th", "Scream", and "I Know What You Did Last Summer"). It certainly isn't as good as those movies that I have listed about, but it's better than most of the ripoffs that came out after the first "Friday the 13th" film. One of those films was the 1981 Canadian made "My Bloody Valentine", which I hated alot. "Valentine" is a better film than that one, but it's not saying much. The plot: a nerdy young boy is teased and pranked by a couple of his classmates at the beginning of the film. Then the film moves years later when those classmates are all grown up, then they're picked off one-by-one. The killer is presumed to be the young boy now all grown up looking for revenge. But is it him? Or could it be somebody else? "Valentine" has an attractive cast which includes Denise Richards, David Boreanaz, Marley Shelton, Jessica Capshaw, and Katherine Heigl. They do what they can with the material they've got, but a lackluster script doesn't really do them any justice. There are some scary moments throughout, however.

** (out of four)

This movie, despite the low rating is NOT that bad. It is better then most of the teen movies that come out these days. (I liked it more then scream and I know what you did.....). I mean, its nothing ground breaking its just good scares and fun. Don't go into this movie expecting anything special...just some typical scares and it will make you jump at times. There are also a few good death scenes. Get your friends and go see this for a good time.....I give it 6/10

A loose adaptation of a novel by Tom Savage, the 21st century, post-"Scream" slasher "Valentine" offers adequate entertainment, but not much more. It doesn't offer much that is fresh or interesting. Of course, it may still appeal to die hard lovers of this time-honored formula, especially the way that it concentrates on a very attractive, largely female cast. A bunch of friends start to get threatened and then killed by a mystery murderer who wears a creepy cherub mask. It just MIGHT be that geek whom the girls spurned back in junior high, but they can't know for sure.

Amusingly, many of the male characters are portrayed as being smarmy, self-serving jerks. Even nice guy Adam (David Boreanaz) has a character flaw; he's a sportswriter with a weakness for the bottle. It is because this particular slasher is so female-centric that it works to any degree. Some horror fans may appreciate the fact that director Jamie Blanks ("Urban Legend", "Storm Warning") downplays gore (for the most part, there are still some violent moments) in favor of straight suspense. All in all, the film is slick, and watchable, but hardly inspired, going through its paces with some competency but no nuance.

The cast doesn't rise above their material, but the gorgeous ladies (Denise Richards, Jessica Cauffiel, Katherine Heigl, etc.) and the hunky Boreanaz are entertaining enough to watch. Marley Shelton is the main focus as Kate, herself a journalist who is trying to learn to trust Adam (Boreanaz) again. In an amusing twist, even the requisite detective on the case (Fulvio Cecere) turns out to be a lech.

There is a prominent plot point involving nosebleeds that had some veteran horror fans recalling the 1982 thriller "Alone in the Dark", which did the same thing more memorably. The story plays out in a way familiar to any "Friday the 13th" series fan, where you have a final girl discovering various dead bodies during the final act.

You could certainly do better than this, but you could also definitely do worse.

Six out of 10.

OK, I'm going to be honest with you. The only reason I want to watch this movie (well, the first time anyway) was because David Boreanaz is in it. I know, shallow, right? Well, this comedy thriller was actually pretty good!

One thing that I LOVED was that Kathrine Hiegl's name is on the front of the box and yet she was only in 10 minutes of this 96 minute movie. That's okay though. The beginning part at the dance, was very upsetting and, of course, I felt sympathy towards Jeremy Melton. I mean, if you don't you have some serious problems. This entire movie consisted of constant murders and suspense, you barely have time to breathe!; there isn't a lot of down-time.

Did anyone else get freaked out about the whole maze thing? God, that was one of the creepiest parts of the entire movie!! And then when Lily is trying to find a way out, all of the screens start to turn off or go all static-y, I'm scared for her!! In the background you hear people saying, "Don't walk away from me"s and "Love me"s and "What do you like to do"s. AND THOSE EYES!!! *shiver*

This is probably one of the only recent horror movies I've seen that had some reasonable actors! Most horror movies stink because of the acting, but this one was actually pretty good because of it! With the exception of Marley Shelton (Kate). I don't understand where she got her acting diploma! I did like one of her lines describing Adam (Boreanaz), "Well, he's no angel...". You know. Because of his role on Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel? Okay then...

The ending was a major plot twist! Throughout the entire movie you pretty much know who the culprit is, but you don't know WHO it is... Does that make any sense? Well, if you've seen the movie, then you should get what I'm saying. Overall, this movie is very good!

7/10 stars!