Do or Die

Now I am not a fan of Andy Sidaris' movies to say the least but this is the first one in a while that I actually enjoyed in parts. The plot is once again convoluted and tedious, but that is just a staple of Sidaris' films, his fans tune in for the boobs, not the story. However all the scenes with Mr Miyagi are highly entertaining, he clearly could not be bothered to be in this movie and the bored look on his face made me smile every time he was on screen. He delivers his lines with beautiful conviction and at one point we get to hear his orgasm noises, truly beautiful stuff. Apart from that there is a ninja scene which is also quite brilliant, in total this all adds up to a Sidaris movie that is actually bearable.

And I loved it! Put it Pat Morita as an evil villain. Erik Estrada and Pandora Peaks as the good guys. Throw in Sidaris regulars like Donna Speir and Bruce Penhall and put them all over the map from HI to LA to CA. Then mix with an ample amount of chases, shoot-outs, and stuff blowing up, and you got yourself a Sidaris flick. Part Magnum PI, part James Bond, part Playboy video, this flick rocks. I find it one of the better Sidaris flicks mainly due to the cast.

I confess to picking this up due to sexbomb Pandora Peaks a pin-up model and dancer being in this. Her silicone airbags area sight to behold. But even without that, this flick is fun. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and the acting is pretty bad.

Bravo!!!

This movie is so hopelessly inept, that if it was played in a more tongue-in-cheek manner it might have been considerable fun. Now, it's just corny. The sex scenes are reasonably stylish, but are arbitrarily thrown into various parts of the film, usually under the least likely circumstances. As for the action, there isn't even one minute of genuine danger or suspense. If the villain, played by Pat Morita(!) wasn't so show-offy, there wouldn't have been a movie, either. Don't do it. (*)

"Do Or Die" begins with a colorful tribal dance. Hawaii was always one of the favorite locations to shoot for Sidaris. This time, a gangster boss challenges the Lethal Ladies team: He'll send 6 pairs of killers against them, and to make it impossible for them to hide, he uses a computer tracking device. "This is gonna be easy", one of the killers says - of course a fatal mistake.

Among the playful variety of assassins, my faves are the cooks from New Orleans who work on their accent and try to poison our heroes - a brilliant comedy interlude in between the sex and the violence. Of course Dona Speir and her friends have some gadgets as well, including a small model helicopter which can fire missiles. Boom, there goes another villain, and I can't say I regret one minute I spent with this entertaining production. This is the 6th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order.

Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez once again essay the roles of sexpot government agents Donna and Nicole, who are targeted by crime kingpin "Kane" (Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morita). He's sick and tired of them ruining his business ventures, so he forces them to participate in "games". He will sic supposedly expert assassins on them again and again. Fortunately, the girls have allies such as Erik "Ponch" Estrada on their side, as well as a cool gadget or two.

Andy Sidaris certainly never set out to make "high art". That said, there is something comfortable about the rigid formulas of his destined-for-cable-TV adventures. They're like comfort food, or a well-loved old pair of shoes. You know what you're getting: gorgeous, bosomy babes, equally gorgeous scenery (this was filmed on locales such as Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Louisiana), various action scenes and stunts, copious amounts of sex and nudity, and those aforementioned gadgets.

"Do or Die" is pretty much a solid example of what Sidaris did so well, with name stars like Morita and Estrada playing their roles adequately, and the physical assets of ladies like Speir, Vasquez, Cynthia Brimhall (who also belts out a catchy country & western ditty), Pandora Peaks, and Carolyn Liu placed front and centre. (You'll see how Ms. Peaks got her stage name.) There's even time for a fair amount of disarming humor, to show that Sidaris never did take any of these movies all that seriously. To that end, Richard Cansino and Chu Chu Malave play one of the teams of inept would-be assassins; they pretend to be Cajun chefs as their cover. The final team is a useless pair of ninjas played by James Lew and Eric Chen.

Lots of dumb bad guys - and good guys who always end up miraculously untouched - add to a "good" dumb fun movie for people looking for sex appeal and cheese.

Six out of 10.