Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe

The overall story is not dreadful, but it plays along as if a 10-year-old wrote it. Combine that with sub-sub-par acting, minimal (at best) effects work (someone had a lot of fun with gasoline explosions), and a soundtrack that sounds like it came straight from a bad '70s porn flick, and you end up with "Abraxas." There are a few funny parts, though. One was Jim Belushi playing a principal named "Latimer." That was his character's name (and position) in his earlier movie, "The Principal." The other was a character saying "a parsec is not an acceptable unit of time measurement on Earth." Obviously, a nod to the infamous "Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs" line from Star Wars. Overall, if you don't *have* to see Abraxas, don't.

There's a hilarious scene in this film where a topless Jesse Ventura invites a young boy to join him on his bed for a story about two men who were once partners; it's just one of many unintentionally funny scenes in this utterly dreadful (but still moderately entertaining) sci-fi adventure in which Mr. Ventura plays Abraxas, an 11,862 year-old intergalactic policeman trying to prevent renegade cop Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen, channelling Arnold Schwarzeneggar for his performance) from finding the 'Comater', (the aforementioned young boy), who might possibly have the 'Anti-life equation'— the secret to eternal life—locked in his mind.

A prime example of totally nonsensical 90s straight-to-video sci-fi, Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe repeatedly boggles the mind with its pitiful direction, dire performances, shockingly nasty sax/widdly guitar soundtrack, and nonsensical script which delivers more unfathomable sci-fi claptrap than the current season of Dr. Who (which is saying something). However, as awful as some of the action gets (in one ridiculous scene, a small-town cop under fire produces an Uzi from nowhere!), nothing is quite as bad as Ventura's hair (or what's left of it): partially balding with a rat's tail, Abraxas should have spent less time hunting for Secunda and put a bit more effort into trying to find a decent stylist.

ABRAXAS , GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE .Chessy low-budget film a cross between terminator and time-cop well worth the watch, great one liners, poor effects but hey more than makes up for it in some of the fight scenes and dialogue. music with this film is awful soft jazz through out just turn your ears off .With a few more bucks this film could have been a half decent flick but like all low budget films resources are not always available .But if your stuck one evening and want to have a laugh and pick out the worst and best parts of the film worth the look.I am sure that the film would make an impression on your mind but only for a few minutes. But i enjoyed it in a sad funny way

He's no Laurence Olivier, but Jesse Ventura is very likable as an actor. Low-budget science-fiction B-flick with shades of "The Terminator" involves good cop Ventura chasing bad cop Sven-Ole Thorsen from the future to present-day Canada. The shoestring special effects are pretty much a joke, and the film never comes up with the kind of futuristic scenario depicted on the poster. However, this thing is almost single-handedly saved by handsome Ventura's low-key performance. No, he's not going to win any awards for his acting, but he doesn't force his dialogue and is an appealing presence on the screen. The picture is the epitome of mediocre, it isn't original nor remarkable, but on a minor, TV-viewing level it's decent fare. ** from ****

Wow, this film is good! Jesse the Body! Space! Aliens punching and kicking! Boy! I have no idea what is happening at any point in this film! At one point Abraxas removes his shirt and tells a small boy a tender story! I hated that part! And Abraxas also sticks his head out of a lake and yells for forty five minutes! What else happens? Oh yeah, he like gets out of a car and says he has to find the bad guy, and it's so funny but it's really hard to explain why. Sorry, I'm not doing a very good job. But see this movie! Please!