Hellbound - All'inferno e ritorno

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball. Kids pee their name in the snow, but Chuck Norris pees his name into concrete. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest...against a fish!

As made obviously clear, I absolutely love these Chuck Norris jokes that can be found all over the internet! Maybe, just maybe, these jokes find their origin in this film in particular! After all, when you battle an ancient and demonic antichrist, who waited for more than nine centuries to bring upon the apocalypse, well, then you earned the right & privilege to be referred to as the toughest macho in the universe! The opponent of Chicago cop Norris is named Prosatanos, and not coincidentally that sounds a lot like preposterous. "Hellbound" goes massively over-the-top in every department. The plot takes partially takes place in the year 1186, in 1951, and in the 90s. The action is set in Holy places like Israel and the Vatican, as well as in the drug/prostitution infested ghettos of Chicago. Christopher Neame depicts an obnoxious archeologist and the Antichrist. Chuck Norris has a black comic-relief police partner that he drags around everywhere, and yet he does everything himself. The unearthly beautiful Zoë Trilling briefly appears as a call-girl who caters Satan's wingman! This movie is - to quote the buddy cop - nuttier than a Snickers bar! It was also the last title to get released by the legendary Cannon Group. And just because they are so incredibly hilarious, here's another selection of Chuck Norris fun-facts:

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once, and you know what happened to them. Chuck Norris was exposed to the Coronavirus, and the virus is now in quarantine for a month.

I have actually never heard about this 1994 movie titled "Hellbound" prior to stumbling upon it here in 2025. But then again, I never really were all that keen on Chuck Norris back in the day, as I always found him to be subpar to the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone. But as I had the opportunity to watch the movie here in 2025, of course I opted to do so. I have to say, though, that I had not particular big expectations to the movie.

Actually I never thought I would see the day when I would see Chuck Norris take on demonic beings. But here we are...

Writers Ian Rabin, Anthony Ridio, Brent Friedman and Galen Thompson put together a pretty straightforward script and storyline. It was tacky and cheesy, sure, but still it was oddly entertaining for the cheese that it was.

Of the entire cast ensemble, I was actually only familiar with Chuck Norris and Sheree J. Wilson. The acting performances in the movie were fair.

Watchable, for sure, but hardly among the most memorable of Chuck Norris movies.

My rating of director Aaron Norris's 1994 movie "Hellbound" lands on a five out of ten stars.

During the Crusades, King Richard the Lionheart (David Robb) defeats the mythological emissary of Satan Prosatanos (Christopher Neame) and shatters his scepter in nine pieces that are kept in sacred places around the world. In the 50's, grave robbers accidentally release Prosatanos from his tomb.

In the present days (1994), in Chicago, Sergeant Frank Shatter (Chuck Norris) and his partner Detective Calvin Jackson (Calvin Levels) investigate the murder of a rabbi in a cheap hotel that had his heart ripped off. Their only lead is a piece of the scepter and a card with the names of the Jewish marchand Krieger (Jack Adalist) and Professor Lockley. Shatter and Jackson are summoned by the Israeli Police for a hearing and Shatter decides to seek out Krieger and Lockley. They also meet the professor's assistant Leslie (Sheree J. Wilson) that helps them and is attracted by Shatter. Soon Shatter and Jackson learn that they are dealing with a supernatural being and they are the last of mankind to avoid the Apocalypse.

"Hellbound" is an entertaining action film with the story of Satan's emissary Prosatanos. The plot is violent but also very funny. The fight between Chuck Norris' character and a demon is hilarious. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Perigo Mortal" ("Mortal Danger")

Surely you've heard this one before. Chicago cop Chuck Norris and his motor-mouthed black sidekick Calvin Levels travel to Jerusalem to hunt down a wild-eyed demon called Prosatanos running around looking for the pieces to a scepter he needs to bring about the apocalypse...or something like that. Chuck's character is named Frank Shatter. I think they meant it one way but I took it the other. Calvin Levels has all of the most annoying comic relief sidekick clichés down pat and beats us over the head with them every chance he gets. He also has Whoopi Goldberg's hairdo from the '80s. Sheree J. Wilson, Chuck's co-star on Walker: Texas Ranger, plays his love interest and the inevitable babe-to-be-sacrificed-to-bring-about-Armageddon. A badly-dubbed Zoe Trilling appears in her underwear and a brief shower scene, which is honestly a highlight of the movie. The real star of the movie is Christopher Neame, who hams it up gloriously as the demon Prosatanos. Opening Star Wars-style text crawl was a dead giveaway as to what kind of a crapper this would be. Aaron Norris, the Roger Clinton of action movies, directs with the same lack of skill I've come to expect from him. Good for some laughs at its expense but if taken seriously it's complete crap.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

Chuck Norris has done himself well by keeping in such good shape and appearance in his later years,and it's still a joy to watch him unveil his martial arts mastery with such grace and precision.It's just a shame he doesn't seem to possess the ability to pick a better script.Hellbound is quite probably his worst film ever.Tacky sets,uninvolving characters,and a stereotype hollywood black partner who might as well make himself into a 50p cliche dispensing machine.The story is ridiculous and totally unengaging,with elements of humour thrown in that are very contrieved and fail to evoke a single laugh.To any Chuck fans who feel compelled to watch his every film,this is the one to least commit yourself to.*