Phalo Crest

Falo Crest (1987)

** (out of 4)

I'm really not sure how to "review" this one. Cult Spanish director Jess Franco's hardcore spoof of Falcon Crest features Lina Romay and various others doing….well, hardcore scenes. The story really isn't too important since there really isn't one. I had to watch the film in Spanish without any English subs so I couldn't make out any of the dialogue but I must say I had fun just watching the cast. You can tell this is a comedy spoof and there were several scenes that had me laughing quite loud, although the revealing of what the wine is made of almost had me throwing up. What really keeps this film from being more enjoyable are the rather disgusting scenes that keep coming up from time to time.

Lina Romay, best known as Jess Franco's wife and cult actress, directed this one. Franco wrote the story, the music, and did almost everything else. So what can we expect ?

Well humor has never been absent from Franco's work, so be prepared to laugh. I've seen the spanish version so I didn't get all the jokes, but overall the hardcore sex mixes well with the touching comedy moments Romay has directed.

A direct parody of Falcon Crest, this movie is brilliant porn, not so exciting but still very interesting. I've even spotted one of the zombies of VIRGIN AMONG THE LIVING DEAD during the scene where Sado Sommers is raped.

And when you'll find out what's the secret behind Falo Crest's excellent wine, your wine drinking evenings will never feel the same...