Perfect

Really, "Perfect" is not the tactical warhead everyone seems to be implying. This is not on the same level as 80s catastrophes like "Megaforce", "Grease 2", "Howard the Duck", or (heaven help us) "Staying Alive". "Perfect" is nothing more than tragic misfire from extremely talented director James Bridges ("The Paper Chase", "Urban Cowboy") that makes the dire mistake of treating the aerobics, health club fad of the mid-80s as a serious cultural phenomenon (ugh).

It also helped to derail John Travolta's career for the better part of a decade - sad, because all one has to do is take a look at his outstanding performances in "Blow Out" and "Urban Cowboy" and realize that his acting in "Perfect" was just fine (if a bit low key). It's a shame, he could have made a lot of great movies while he was stuck in dreck like "The Experts" and strange late 80s Altman theatre pieces like Pinter's "The Dumb Waiter" (with Tom Conti!).

Travolta plays a Rolling Stone journalist hot on the trail of a big story about how health clubs are the new pick-up joints, replacing singles bars. He meets "The Pied Piper of aerobics teachers" Jamie Lee Curtis, a former Olymic swimmer who was once burned by a journalist over a piece about how she was having an affair with her coach. Of course, she and Travolta hook up and Travolta meets some other folks who frequent the gym, who are like supporting characters in a David Lynch movie (I'm unsure if the director intended to portray them as weird as they come off).

Real-life Rolling Stone editor Jann Wenner shows up to essentially play himself (not very well) and, in the film's most laughable detail, Travolta writes a version of his story portraying health clubs as Emersonian watering holes of the future (or something like that).

It's all kind of bloated and weird, but really not that bad. Travolta's actually pretty good. Jamie Lee Curtis looks great but comes off as slightly grouchy, but she was probably directed that way.

Don't miss Travolta's notorious pelvic thrust sequence (you can't miss it).

A legendary flop and a legendarily bad movie, this mess is part three in a career-killing trilogy of Travolta's that also includes "Staying Alive" and "Two of a Kind". It took him a long time to bounce back. It also stalled Curtis's career for a while until "A Fish Called Wanda" rescued her. The story, such as it is, concerns Travolta, a Rolling Stone magazine reporter, looking for a story angle within a huge gymnasium at the height of the aerobics and fitness craze. He's already working on another more important story, but wants this as a back-up in case an all-important interview falls through. He zeroes in on high-profile aerobics instructor Curtis who has a huge following (which often kisses her on the mouth following one of her workouts!) Unfortunately, she's had a major disaster with a reporter in the past and resists being interviewed for his story. In order for there to be a movie, he must wear her down and get her assistance even though there are 90 other instructors at this mega-gym. The film is very unfocused and disjointed throughout. It tries to be too many things: a reflection of investigative journalism, an ethics drama, an examination of self-esteem issues, a music video crash-course in Jazzercise and, most obviously, a jiggle movie with emphasis on lycra-clad spread legs and tight behinds. The script is so crass and stupid with ludicrous lines like, "You're a sphincter muscle..." (this one is repeated often!) and unnecessary subplots which lead nowhere. Travolta is awful. He speaks his lines with his mouth almost open, stares blankly with no skill at conveying what's on his mind and, in the films most celebratedly horrendous scene, gyrates his bulging crotch at the camera ad nauseam while sweat trickles down his pale, clammy face and body. Curtis looks very fresh and attractive most of the film (if a bit sexually ambiguous) eschewing the huge hair and heavy make-up of the times. Her character is a little too self-righteous, but her acting is better than anyone else around. Wenner, a non-actor, provides a jarring presence whenever he appears because he (along with several other "real" people cast in the film) hasn't got the polish to really sell his role even though it reflects his position in real life (as the founder of Rolling Stone!) Most of the other actors in the film either overact horrendously or flat-line. More importantly, the audience does not care about anyone in the film and so does not care when various events and revelations come about. There is some inherent camp value in revisiting the hilarious workout clothes of the 80's and in hearing the bouncy, tacky music of the era, but the movie is way too long for it's subject matter and the music montages wear out their welcome very quickly. And for all the sweating and gyration, there are no sex scenes in the film. Look out for pansexual Burt Reynolds look-alike (and alleged Travolta bed partner) Barresi in the cast as a gym rat eager to show off his body.

Watching him and Jamie Lee Curtis "workout" was quite entertaining. Aerobics really was the soft core porn of the 80s and there's a lot of it in the movie. They even threw in a Chippendales performance for good measure. The film itself is alright, acting isn't bad and the storyline is ok but the ending is rather cliche and predictable. The soundtrack might be the best part. Fun to watch for nostalgia and the Carly Simon cameo but other than that I don't think there's a lot here really.

My Goodness, what a bomb! We didn't drop anything this big on Iraq!

Perfect is the story of a Rolling Stone reporter (Travolta) who trips over his ethics, or lack there of while writing two big stories. His first story deals with a computer tycoon in hot water with the U.S. government for selling his products to an Eastern-Bloc country. This angle is played way up considering the lack of details we are told about the situation. No matter, the story you will remember deals with a swanky health club in L.A.. Travolta wishes to write a piece about how health clubs in the 1980s are replacing the singles bars of the 1970s as the #1 place for people to meet. Take that premise and see how long you can stretch it. Director Bridges apparently thought he could drag it out for nearly two hours and still keep our attention.

This film suffers from a severe lack of focus. There are too many location changes to count. There is also too much running around and too much time wasted on insignificant little things. For example, what was up with Travolta's sudden trip to Morocco near the end of the film. It had no purpose what so ever! Another problem this film has is its tendency to drag out every scene to last as long as whatever cheesy 80s dance song is playing in the background. That gets old pretty darn quick.

This film is also hopelessly dated in terms of fashion. If any guy came into my health club wearing tights or a fish-net tank top, he'd probably get beaten up. Bridges & CO also try to recycle a gag that worked in Urban Cowboy. In that film, there was a scene featuring numerous women dressed up for a Dolly Parton look-alike contest. In this film, we get about a hundred people dressed up as Boy George in a scene at a hotel. In Urban Cowboy it worked since there was a legitimate reason for all the people to dress that way. They were at least trying to win a contest. The scene in Perfect is useless and it only serves to date the film even further.

This film was by no means Travolta's worst. Has anyone seen The Experts or Shout? This film did, however, have his most embarrassing scene. In it, he's sweating away in Jamie Lee Curtis's aerobics class and doing a never-ending series of pelvic thrusts to the dance beat. His crotch has obviously been stuffed with a sock, or perhaps the thing Hammer used in his Pumps in a Bump video. Truly hilarious!

Travolta is a talented actor, but he has nothing to work with here. Jamie Lee Curtis is also a great talent, but she is wasted as well. She looks absolutely gorgeous, but her character is so moody and abrasive that we can hardly stand her. The supporting cast of mostly unknowns fills out their respective stereotypical roles as well as they can.

In all, this is a poor film on all levels. It tries to be an insightful look at journalistic ethics and falls flat on its face. It comes off as being little more than a two hour plug for Rolling Stone Magazine. Too Bad.

3 of 10 stars

So sayeth the Hound.

While promoting "Pulp Fiction" back in the 1990's Tarantino while explaining his casting of John Travolta in what would be one of his most iconic roles, resurrecting his career and taking to a new status, the writer and director didn't mention "Grease" or "Saturday Night Fever" as why he thought Travolta was a good actor. He quoted loving him in movies such as "Blow Out", "Carrie" and this little gem called "Perfect". Such opinions are quite surprising since most of those films (except "Carrie") weren't box-office hits neither well criticized, some gaining cult status in the following years of its release. However, even with Quentin's approval "Perfect" still finds a great deal of unexplainable resistance among film buffs, currently giving to this one of the most absurd low ratings ever given to a quite decent movie.

A short way to explain the story is thinking of an "Absence of Malice" made for the masses: it deals with ethics in journalism with Travolta playing a biased Rolling Stone reporter while unsatisfied with the running of a controversial article involving political officials dealing with corruption charges, decides to write a new and apparently harmless article on health clubs and their new function as being a cool dating place replacing the decadent singles bars. Yeah, why bothering going in places where everybody is so down when you go to a happier place, make lots of exercise and meet guys and girls with perfect bodies? There's something worth writing he thinks. Working as an obstacle to this story is a gym instructor (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) who doesn't trust reporters after a career damaging event when a reporter distorted facts while publishing a story involving her. While Travolta's story goes under false pretensions (with a bit of truth in it as well), he can't escape resisting some affection he has by the main character of his article, who each day goes by starts to like this guy, believing he's about to write a good report on the gym and its attendees.

The stone in the way of this movie is that its lack of seriousness while the events are being unfolded, often deeply concerned about the romance between the main characters. At times you think something really dangerous is about to happen, he's being followed by someone due to the other inflammable article where Travolta is torn in between telling about what his source said to him on an exclusive interview or go to jail to protect his source, but no, the film doesn't take off much from this scenario except towards its conclusion to be used as a closure to the gym instructor situation, a predictable and not very believable device.

But "Perfect" manages to keep you hold to your seat due to the reliable and impressive performances of Curtis, Travolta, Laraine Newman, Marilu Henner and small appearances from Kenneth Welsh and David Paymer. It drags down a bit when it stays for too long in the work out exercises, fun for the actors jumping up and down to the coolest and energic 1980's soundtrack but tiring for us viewers seeing an unimaginative lack of camera angles and poor editing which shifts from two different angles instead of being more acrobatic.

Story delivered some valid points (although it can look ridiculously dated now since gym's are also definitely places for dating and no one questions those things anymore), might not be perfect (no pun intended), it was well balanced and easy to follow and feel interested. So, why viewers think this is one of the worst movies ever? Makes me wonder what some of you are watching these days. There's plenty of quality in "Perfect", you just need to open your eyes to see it. 9/10