Zeta uno

ZETA ONE (aka: THE LOVE FACTOR) opens with a groovy James Bond-esque theme song playing over still shots of seminude nymphets lounging about. The Bond-ness continues, as this is a cheeky parody of such films.

The negligee-thin story line is just a flimsy frame to hang all of the naughtiness on. So, not a lot happens.

When Zeta (Dawn Addams) finally shows up, things pick up a bit. Slightly. She and her troupe of alien babes kidnap Earth women to add to their colony.

Yep, this is another of those movies that great-grandad used to sneak off to see at some rundown theater. Today, it's fun in its own quaint way. So, if you're looking for some silly, late-1960's-70's soft core cheeeze, then, you'll probably enjoy this...

Angvia is in space, in a different timescale or something. The first fifteen minutes are spent watching James (Robin Hawdon) and Ann (Yutte Stensgaard) paying cards.

Highpoints, at least as far as casting is concenred is Charles Hawtrey (as Swyne) and James Robertson Justice (Major Bourdon). These two legendry performers could be said to be playing their roles uncharacteristically straight - or possibly uninterested.

Zeta One attempts to be a sort of sci-fi, camp James Bond production. Viewed in 2021, it is pretty tedious and tame. The first scene features James coming home to find Ann barely dressed, having prepared a sumptuous dinner (which they never get to eat). I'm no fan of knocking productions that were very much a product of its time - it's a very lazy and unfair thing to do - but if I say this lacks the wit and sophistication of the Carry On films, you'll get some idea as to its level. Sadly, despite featuring a planned sexy alien invasion of swinging London in 1969, it's also rather dull.

James Word (... is his Bond, get it?) sports a moustache that comes and goes, and spends most of the time pouting and posturing in bed with many lovely young ladies while trying to glue the paper-thin plot strands together. The inconsistencies in the execution (Word disappears for vast swatches of time, and Bourdon disappears before the finale) indicate some kind of troubled production. Actor Hawdon tested for the role of James Bond before Roger Moore got the role.

It's odd rather than amusing, looks pretty cheap and every female character seems to be dubbed, which happened a lot in films around this time. A rather tedious curio. My score is 4 out of 10.

If anything, "Zeta One" (a.k.a. "The Love Factor" and "Alien Women") proves that the U.S.A. doesn't have a lock on cheesy soft-core porn movies. In this one, a race of alien women (many of whom run around topless) kidnap earth women to repopulate their world. What sounds like a fun spoof of spy movies and sci-fi flicks fails miserably, due to many factors, not the least of which is that there's simply no point of view. The cast (and the script) seem to meander around without any real purpose. The secret agent character, James Word (played by Robin Hawdon of "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth") seems to have two purposes in the movie: to have sex with every woman who crosses his path, and smoke cigarettes, since he doesn't seem to do anything else. A part like his takes a deft comedic touch, which Hawdon just doesn't have. The story is told in flashback, and the framing sequences featuring Hawdon and lovely Yutte Stensgaard seem to indicate trouble with the original film (Hawdon has a moustache in the main body of the film, but is without it in the framing sequences). Scenes dealing with a strip-poker game and Word's ultimate fate go on for what seems like an eternity without any real payoff. And top-billed James Robertson Justice gives a textbook example of a "where's-my-paycheck?" type performance. The British have a reputation for stuffiness, and if this movie is any indication, it is a reputation well-deserved.

It's another cold snowy winter day here so I once again took advantage of our Amazon Prime subscription and picked a flick. This time I watched a film from 1969 called 'zeta one' (aka 'The Love Factor'). It's a British made secret agent film...sort of... maybe it's more a sex-ploitation film. I can best describe it as a cross between the over the top spy films like 'Our Man Flint' and the recent Austin Powers films. Also a touch of James Bond. There is a 'Barbarella' sci fi element to it too. There's a race of alien women with advanced technology who want us for mating purposes or something. I'm not really sure. Like so many other B-movie female aliens they only seem to have women in their society. Women who like to dress as male fantasies. Even their warrior women dress in pasties and G strings. Evidently it's their favorite combat gear no matter how impractical and uncomfortable it must be. Yes, this is one of those movies. It's loaded with 60s era nudity, mini skirts, boots and even a psychedelic trip or two. It reminds me of the Austin Powers movies because it seems more an exaggerated spoof of the 60s then what it really is, a real 60s film. I lived through that time as a young teen so I know a little. It even had 'Laugh-in Style' girls dancing topless in body paint. It's more 60s then I ever remember the 60s as being, it you can understand that. It's like what people now seem to imagine those days to be who weren't there.

Anyway, it's a funny film if you're in the right frame of mind. There is one agent who looks like a British version of Barney Fife in round glasses. Their version of M here is more into 'S & M'. Yes, it's a strangely entertaining flick that bad movie fans should enjoy.

Well I liked it!

If you're a fan of Yutte Stensgaard (cor!) it's a goodie - she appears throughout.

A good cast in a strange mixture of Doctor/Carry On/Spy spoof (watch for the Harry Palmer lookalike!) & Sci-fi, containing much female pulchritude!

There's Rita Webb as a bus conductress, & watch out for Carol Hawkins - Sharon Eversleigh from 'Please Sir'.

The woodland finale, inexplicably, reminded me of The Avengers.

And did I mention Yutte? Cor! :D