Zeta uno

Angvia is in space, in a different timescale or something. The first fifteen minutes are spent watching James (Robin Hawdon) and Ann (Yutte Stensgaard) paying cards.

Highpoints, at least as far as casting is concenred is Charles Hawtrey (as Swyne) and James Robertson Justice (Major Bourdon). These two legendry performers could be said to be playing their roles uncharacteristically straight - or possibly uninterested.

Zeta One attempts to be a sort of sci-fi, camp James Bond production. Viewed in 2021, it is pretty tedious and tame. The first scene features James coming home to find Ann barely dressed, having prepared a sumptuous dinner (which they never get to eat). I'm no fan of knocking productions that were very much a product of its time - it's a very lazy and unfair thing to do - but if I say this lacks the wit and sophistication of the Carry On films, you'll get some idea as to its level. Sadly, despite featuring a planned sexy alien invasion of swinging London in 1969, it's also rather dull.

James Word (... is his Bond, get it?) sports a moustache that comes and goes, and spends most of the time pouting and posturing in bed with many lovely young ladies while trying to glue the paper-thin plot strands together. The inconsistencies in the execution (Word disappears for vast swatches of time, and Bourdon disappears before the finale) indicate some kind of troubled production. Actor Hawdon tested for the role of James Bond before Roger Moore got the role.

It's odd rather than amusing, looks pretty cheap and every female character seems to be dubbed, which happened a lot in films around this time. A rather tedious curio. My score is 4 out of 10.

Promises good atmosphere for all those that like 70's english exploitation but in the end it lays there and really refuses to focus on it's point. Strip poker scene with Yutte Stensgaard does go on forever, as Mark D-2 says, without major payoff. There are better of this genre out there

A race of topped, average-breasted women from the planet Angvia, in another dimension, come to earth to kidnap women to repopulate their planet.

There were a few things I liked about about this film. One was that the spy was named James Word, who I assume was named so because his "word is his bond". Or something along those lines. The joke names (such as Angvia being an obvious anagram for vagina) are not very deep.

The other was that the elevator seems to be an inspiration for Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams' books. Adams was 17 when the film first came out, and being a British science fiction film, he may have seen it. Someone might know this... I do not. But I found the similarity striking enough.

Well I liked it!

If you're a fan of Yutte Stensgaard (cor!) it's a goodie - she appears throughout.

A good cast in a strange mixture of Doctor/Carry On/Spy spoof (watch for the Harry Palmer lookalike!) & Sci-fi, containing much female pulchritude!

There's Rita Webb as a bus conductress, & watch out for Carol Hawkins - Sharon Eversleigh from 'Please Sir'.

The woodland finale, inexplicably, reminded me of The Avengers.

And did I mention Yutte? Cor! :D

Fun but very silly B-movie. Not so much poundshop 007 as pervy Dr Who. There is scant story, dialogue or direction. Both James Robertson Justice and Charlie Hawtrey are completely wasted (although were they actually wasted their performances might actually improve). A half hour nap would not disrupt your viewing pleasure.

The photography, art and wardrobe (or lack of) are the only things keeping the ship afloat as it lurches towards the final credits; although sheer awfulness of execution makes for truly comical moments along the way. If you like "so bad it's good" movies I recommend this one.