Two Lost Worlds

This movie is available on video, and I recommend buying it. A problem with the bad movie genre (subgenre? metagenre?) is that it is dominated by science fiction and horror. Well, this movie has elements of both, but it is mainly an adventure film gone horribly wrong. So, it is often overlooked as a source of unintentional laughs. Here's 10 good reasons to see it:

1. Look at the tattoos in the opening and closing title sequence.

2. Is it a historical drama? A pirate adventure? A monster movie? Who knows?

3. Bad narration -- lots of it! Could be missing pieces of soundtrack.

4. James Aurness (sic) -- He was more expressive as the carrot in "The Thing"

5. Bill Kennedy -- the grouchy costar was later a popular TV movie host in the Detroit area -- a special Michigan connection

6. Fight montage sequence -- there must be stuff from 10 movies in here!

7. You know, you can MOVE that camera! But this cinematographer obviously wasn't aware -- he just turned the camera on, and people walked in and out of the shot. Guess he was in the can a lot.

8. The monsters fight each other, but pose no threat to the humans. They should get guest star billing!

9. If you can tell the two lead women apart, you're doing better than me.

10. Last but not least -- the finale features the world's most powerful handheld telescope as a side-splitting topper.

I've said enough -- and last but not least -- it's SHORT! The best quality a bad movie can have. This one's a winner, folks.

The same year that he played the rampaging alien in "The Thing from Another World" a studly young James Arness is our jut-jawed hero in this agreeable adventure. Arness plays Kirk Hamilton, a mate on a 19th century clipper ship who, after a skirmish with pirates, spends some time in Australia getting his wounds treated. After helping the locals deal with this pirate problem, he and several other characters end up marooned on an uncharted island that is frozen in time, complete with oversized lizards.

This film is a little misrepresented by ad copy. Much more of an adventure film (dividing its time between action on land and action at sea) than sci-fi, it only spends its final third on this island. And we never get to see very many prehistoric animals, only the aforementioned lizards that are stock footage from "One Million B.C." ("Two Lost Worlds" didn't shoot any of its own creature scenes.) Also, while a fair amount of time is spent with Australian characters, NONE of them have Australian accents!

Still, this minor but agreeable feature shows its audience a reasonable time. At the very least, it has a very brief running time of 62 minutes. Much like many a fun B movie, it doesn't waste too much time. That is, except for portraying a love triangle between Kirk, Queensland native Elaine Jeffries (Kasey Rogers), and a resentful rancher named Martin Shannon (Bill Kennedy). The supporting cast is filled out by capable character actors such as Pierre Watkin, Tom Monroe, Michael Rye as the evil pirate leader (you'll have a good time hating this guy), Fred Kohler Jr., Tim Graham, and Richard Bartell. Young co-star Gloria Petroff is the daughter of producer Boris Petroff (a.k.a. Brooke L. Peters). Co-star Tom Hubbard (who plays John Hartley) also helped to adapt the story by Petroff and wrote the screenplay.

The movie does give its viewers an exciting finish with a volcanic eruption (more stock footage), and features some hilariously florid narration written by Bill Shaw and spoken by Dan Riss. All in all, it's amusing stuff.

Six out of 10.

Soon after America gained its independence, a new-fangled clipper sets sail from Boston to the East Indies. Attacked by pirates off the Hebrides, the ship's builder, James Arness, is wounded, and landed to recover at the ship's next port of call, in Australia. There he falls in love with Elaine Jeffries, and she with him. She is due to be engaged to Bill Kennedy, who scowls at the thought. However, other things are going on, particularly pirates. Arness is commissioned to build a ship to clear the sea of pirates. On its maiden voyage, with Miss Jeffries, her kid sister Gloria Petroff, and Kennedy, they run into a pirate ship and give battle. Both ships are sunk, but our main players escape by raft to a small island with dinosaurs from One Million B. C.

If, like me, you gave up hope of any of this making sense at the second sentence, be reassured! Dan Riss narrates about a third of the movie, and whoever wrote his lines never saw a noun that didn't need at least two adjectives and a dependent clause. The battle scenes with the second pirate ship are nicely shot by DP Harry Neumann. Arness and Miss Jeffries changed their names after appearing in this. With Pierre Watkins, Fred Kohler Jr. And Hank Mann.

Pirates attack the ship carrying Kirk Hamilton (Jim Aurness aka James Arness), scion of a ship-building family, in the New Hebrides forcing the ship to take refuge in Australia (in a part of Queensland where everyone has an American accent). When the pirates begin ransacking the local villages, Hamilton convinces a Royal Navy captain (Tom Monroe) to pursue their ship. Both the navy ship and the pirate ship are sunk in the ensuing battle but a small group of survivors (including Hamilton) escape in a lifeboat only to find themselves marooned on a volcanic island populated by gigantic beasts. The low-budget film, directed by Norman Dawn, is an uneven mix of sea-adventure and fantasy with little to connect the two elements. This is particularly noticeable on the island, when the narrator (Dan Riss) excitedly describes the castaways' search for water, and later food, while making no comments whatsoever about the 'dinosaur' fight that occurs in front of them, almost killing them. Typical for a low-budget B-film 'Two Lost Worlds' liberally borrows from earlier films, notably One Million B. C. (1940) for the 'dinosaurs' and 'Captain Caution' (1940) for the climactic fight with the pirates. Discounting the repurposed footage, the film has the production values of a '50's TV show and none of the cast do much with the trite storyline and script. Since there is nothing novel or interesting in the new material, the sum of the film is worse than its parts.

Two Lost Worlds is more of an adventure movie than a sci-fi but I still quite enjoyed this.

After being attacked by pirates, the clipper ship The Queen settles in Queensland, Austrlia while its captain recovers from injuries received during the attack. He falls in love with one of the local girls there and pirates then raid the colony and they escape. After the ship is attacked again and set on fire, the few survivors end up on an uncharted island where they encounter dinosaurs and then a volcanic eruption and earthquake and are then rescued.

The dinosaur footage in this movie is the fight from One Million BC, as is the disaster footage, where we get to see more enlarged lizards from that movie too.

The only member of the cast I've heard of in this is James Arness (The Thing From Another World, Them!).

Despite the low budget, Two Lost Worlds is worth watching. Not bad at all.

Rating: 3 stars out of 5.