The Well Groomed Bride

That exchange between Margie Dawson and Lt. Torchy McNeil had me laughing out loud and pausing the DVD. It took a few more laughs before I could go on and not miss any of the rest of the dialog. This is one of several moments of great laughter in "The Well-Groomed Bride." What a hilarious romp, with a very good setting in the spring of 1945. The locale and setting with Navy and Army activities in San Franciso at the time are excellent. And the plot is overboard preposterous. But that's the case with many a great comedy film. Especially those involving romance. This is one very good comedy with a little romance and a great cast to carry it off.

Olivia de Havilland and Ray Milland alternate between affection and sparks as Margie Dawson and Lt. Dudley Briggs. And It's all about who gets the last magnum bottle of champagne in all of the Bay Area. At least at first. Sonny Tufts plays Army Lt. Torchy McNeil who hasn't seen a woman in 16 months. He and four buddies are just back from digging trenches for defense in the Aleutian Islands. And Sonny and Margie are engaged and about to be married. Or, so they think. But, when Navy Lt. Briggs is sent on the mission to get the largest bottle of champagne in the city to launch the new aircraft carrier the next day, the lives of all three - and some more, will change forever.

Adding much to the humor these three provide are James Gleason as Capt. Hornby, Constance Dowling as Rita Sloane, and Percy Kilbride (of "Ma and Pa Kettle") as Papa Dawson. McBride alone had me roaring with laughter when he goes to Margie's hotel room and finds Torchy there. Another long pause, restart, pause, rewind, and restart for the laughter in that long scene.

This film did okay at the box office in a year with many very good films, including 24 comedy romances. Veterans, real movie buffs, seniors and people who enjoy laughter should especially like this film.

Here are some favorite lines.

Capt. Hornby, "You're a good man at sea, Briggs. It wouldn't surprise me if you were a Lt. Commander soon." Lt. Dudley Briggs, "Really, sir?" Capt. Hornby, "Well, in another year, maybe. No need to rush things." Briggs, "Yeah. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Capt. Hornby, "Oh, yes, San Diego. Blonde or brunette?" Lt. Briggs, "Red head, sir."

Capt. Hornby, "Well, take a tip from a man whose been through many a maneuver. Hold your fire until you get in close." Lt Briggs, "Yes, sir."

Lt. Torchy McNeil, "Aw, gee, Margie, I'm sorry. But what could I do? All of a sudden she saw me and before I knew what was happenin' she kissed me." Margie Dawson, "She kissed you? Right on her lips with your helpless mouth?"

Mr. Dawson, "I'll help the Navy but Margie's a different war."

Lt. Briggs, "Mr. Dawson, she's got to launch that carrier with the magnum. She's got to." Mr. Dawson, "Well, I could spank her, but at her age I think she'd like it better from you."

Captain James Gleason orders Lieutenant Ray Milland to get a bottle of French champagne to launch the new aircraft carrier. However, Olivia de Havilland has just bought the last bottle of French champagne in San Francisco for her nuptials with Sonny Tufts, who has spent two years in the Aleutians. How is Milland going to get the champagne and Miss de Havilland in this randomly named film?

It's a rather flat romantic comedy directed by the usually very competent Sidney Lanfield, full of random gags and misunderstandings. Miss De Havilland had just spent two years fighting Warner Brothers in court so she wouldn't have to appear in muddled, unfunny comedies, and she had launched her newly serious career auspiciously enough with TO EACH HIS OWN and DEVOTION, only to follow it up with this rote effort. Neither of the leads shows any sparkle; the two comics, Gleason and Percy Kilbride (as de Havilland's father) lack any zest and Sonny Tufts, despite being the object of lust for a brace of screen beauties, remains a dull hunk of beef.

The plot for "The Well-Groomed Bride" is incredibly thin...too thin for an entire movie. This is odd, as Olivia de Havilland had just recently won the right to break her contract with Warner Brothers and was now a free agent...and she made THIS??

When the story begins, a navy ship is about to be launched and the Captain (James Gleason) orders his Lieutenant (Ray Milland) to go buy a French Magnum...NOT an easy task considering that the war had just ended and champagne production (and everything else in Europe) was a mess. When he finally does locate a magnum, one of the only ones on the entire West Coast, Margie (de Havilland) has just purchased it. He tries to weasel it off her, but she needs it because her fiance (Sonny Tufts) is returning from the war to marry her...and he's instructed her to find the biggest bottle of champagne she can for the occasion. That is pretty much the entire plot, though in the course of things, the lady and the Lieutenant fall in love...which is pretty much what you'd expect.

Is this a bad film? At times (such as when the Lieutenant SLUGS Margie!!), it is. But for the most part it's a forgettable time-passer that starred two actors who simply were too good for this sort of film. As for Sonny Tufts, well, this sort of fluff was pretty much as good as it gets for him and his somewhat sordid career.

Before Olivia de Havilland made her remarkable comeback in 1946's To Each His Own, she stepped in as a last minute replacement for Paulette Goddard in 'The Well Groomed Bride', her first film after her two year legal battle with Warner Bros. Unfortunately, the script is so slight (about de Havilland and Milland fighting over rights to the last champagne bottle in San Francisco--she wants it for her wedding, he wants it to christen a ship). The laughs are scant although Olivia, Ray Milland and Sonny Tufts try hard to keep things bubbling. De Havilland manages to be pert and pretty as the heroine, Milland is his usual adept self at comedy and even Sonny Tufts manages to make his big "conceited muscle" role likeable at times--but the whole thing fails to get off the ground. The weak script defeats everyone, including Percy Kilbride as de Havilland's dad. Only avid fans of Ray Milland or de Havilland should watch this one--which does not turn up on TV these days--Paramount obviously deciding it wasn't worth saving.

This is not the funniest comedy ever made, but it is proficient, as written by Claude Binyon and directed by Sidney Lanfield, both of whom had done far better work than this; and while it's no masterpiece it's not a total loss by any means. There's a touch of late screwball in Ray Milland and Olivia de Havilland warring over a champagne bottle. And the mood of austerity in the America of the war and immediate postwar years is well-captured, albeit in a stylized and slick fashion. Still, champagne is champagne, and the movie's fetishistic obsession with it is indicative of Hollywood's desire to get back to making more formalized, safer films, of which this is a fairly decent attempt. But it is at its best an aborted effort to capture a mood that was pretty much gone by the time the movie was made, as the mood of the film gives no indication of where the postwar world was heading. Still and all, it's a nice stab at staving off the inevitable.