Wives Never Know

Occasionally, one comes across a film that's virtually unknown -- all but forgotten, but that turns out to be a gem. On the other hand, many forgotten films are more often unknown for the opposite reason. They're either stinkers or just not very good. Allowing for the difference in taste among reviewers - and possibly the degrees of sobriety, consciousness and/or sanity when viewing one of these films, some may find gems in stinkers and others stinkers in gems.

Well, "Wives Never Know" isn't exactly a stinker, but it's sure not a gem. First, it has no witty or humorous dialog. Not until near the very end does it have any funny antics, and it's a strain to get any humor out of the situations until the very end. So, it has about one quarter of each of two elements that make up comedy. That's about one-sixth of comedy, at the best.

The leads in this film - Charles Ruggles, Adolphe Menjou and Mary Boland all played in some wonderful comedies. And the fault in this film isn't anything to do with their acting. It's just a weak, long drawn-out story sans humor, with a terrible screenplay. This film suffers from a poor story, lousy script, and weak direction. Elliott Nugent directed some good comedies in his day, but he got saddled with a screenplay and story that drags on and on in the first three-quarters without anything funny at all. What there is of comedy the last 15 minutes can't save this dud.

Paramount was known for some smashing comedies throughout Hollywood's golden era. One suspects this is one film the studio brass didn't mind sliding into oblivion.

Here's an example of the dialog that's supposed to pass for humor in this film. Menjou's Hugh Ramsey, "Does a vegetable ever think of itself as a vegetable? No."

In "Wives Never Know", Homer and Marcia Bigelow (Charlie Ruggles and Mary Boland) are devoted to each other and act like honeymooners even though they've been married for years. Those around them see them as the ideal couple...except for an idiot author (Adolph Menjou) of the book "Marriage, the Living Death". This knucklehead somehow convinces the Bigelows that what their marriage needs is excitement and that excitement will be provided by having Homer cheat on his wife...just a bit! How they believe this hooey is beyond me, but soon Homer is forcing himself to drink, smoke and chase another woman...and he's miserable throughout the experience. And, instead of making the Bigelows happy, it naturally causes all sorts of problems.

The plot is simply bizarre to say the least. In fact, I'd say it's contrived...something that simply makes no sense to anyone except Hollywood folks! Because the plot is so ridiculous, you can't help but be turned off by the movie even though the acting is quite nice. Plus, it's nice to see Ruggles playing against type, as he OFTEN played husbands who strayed during this era. But the plot just bogs it all down and offers the actors little with which to work. Watchable but it simply should have been better and more enjoyable.

Charlie Ruggles and Mary Boland have a dedicated if somewhat banal marriage in Topeka. He brings home his old college buddy, Adolphe Menjou, who has just written a book titled "Marriage, The Living Death." The high-living bachelor convinces Mary that their marriage lacks zest. If Charlie never cuts loose, she can never have the joy of jealousy and the pleasure of forgiving him. So Charlie goes out to fulfill his part of the deal with Vivienne Osborne, and comes home with a black eye, pneumonia and one of Miss Osborne's garters in his pocket, triggering off a hilarious third act to this absurd comedy.

The parts must have been written for the performers, and Elliott Nugent directs them to a tee; the absurd interplay between Menjou and Ruggles suits their screen characters to a tee; Miss Boland is perfect, looking goggle-eyed and confused with Mr. Menjou and ordering an ice cream soda from bartender Tom Kennedy in an illegal saloon. Even the small roles, like Frank O'Connor, who wants to arrest Ruggles for impersonating himself, have never been better.

I had never heard of this movie before it turned up, and it's a shock to me how good this unremembered comedy is. In terms of story, jokes and just plain comedic shtick, it is a masterpiece of its type.