Avalanche Sharks

Much similar in concept to the 2011 movie "Sand Sharks", which was also referenced in this movie, "Avalanche Sharks" is exactly what the name indicates. Well, without the avalanche, and just throw in snow instead. Yep, sharks swimming through snow and eating people. But these are no ordinary snow-swimming sharks, no... These are ethereal man-killers, brought about by ancient native American traditions.

The storyline is simple and straight forward; a bunch of people are enjoying spring break at a mountain skiing resort, when an ancient curse of sorts is set free and spirit sharks are set free to feast on the hapless vacationers.

For a storyline as this, you know what you get, and there are no great surprises here. And of course, it is as outrageous and far from realistic as it can be. But what do you expect with a concept such as this?

I will say that the special effects crew actually managed to pull it off nicely throughout "Avalanche Sharks". The sharks looked interesting and had some great details, and the effects themselves were good and seems real enough. And that really brought about a great deal of the enjoyment of the movie - as the storyline is a no brainer, and the acting was, well, it was there, lets just say that much...

"Avalanche Sharks" is a movie that is perfect for a lazy day on the couch, especially if you are nurturing a hangover and want to have some simple entertainment that require absolutely no brain activity.

So there has been sand sharks, swamp sharks, ghost sharks, super sharks, sharknados, avalanche sharks, and many, many other types of sharks, so where do we go next? Traffic sharks? Concrete Sharks? Space sharks? Unleash those toothy swimmers, and we, the audience, will be there to watch what is next...

The first thing I noticed about this movie was that the people could actually act. I'm always amazed at how the "actors" in most of these shark movies are extremely unnatural but in this one they seem like this may not be their first time. This is actually as much a skiing movie as a shark movie, complete with the race to win the love of a girl. I wasn't expecting much and I was a little surprised that it wasn't worse than it is, although the end is absolutely ludicrous. I'd have to say this was not a total waste of time.

If you are looking for story, plot, excitement, adventure, depth of character then this isn't the movie for you. It's exactly what it says on the tin, tongue in cheek nonsense. Any film that dares to pair the word 'Shark' with a destructive force driven by snow deserves our respect.

There's good old fashioned story-telling and then there's this, suspend your imagination and your cognitive abilities and sit back and enjoy the ride.

Looking forward to the next instalment, 'Shark Eruption' or 'Shark Thunderstorm', the plot lines here are limitless.

Avalanche Sharks is a stupid film, plain and simple. Its characters have no characteristics beyond the surface. We have the corrupt sheriff, the greedy businessman, the tired sheriff, the virgin, the foreign and a whole cavalcade of empty-headed, teenage idiots. And even then the premise is stupider, which is saying something. It's basically Sharknado with the tornado being replaced with a skiing resort. And the worst insult is that they try to force in a half-baked origin story for these sharks. And it doesn't convince or work, at all.

The movie is really nothing more than a gorefest without the budget to pull of the blood carnage convincingly. The actors do their jobs merely to get paid, which means that we don't care what happens to them. The special effects are just sad to look and the story has no impact behind it, especially when the ending solution is so laughably deus ex machina.

Don't see this film. Sometimes films like this have a certain "so bad it's good" quality, but this is just pathetic.

Besides, I was promised a bikini skiing contest. And they never delivered. Unforgivable!

To be honest, I suffered through watching most of this movie here and there throughout the past year or so whenever it was airing on television. Although there was worldwide shock and awe with Sharknado (which was so cheesy and irrational that it was funny), they should have kept it at that and left it as a classic cheesy movie. But no, instead they start creating a whole bunch of shark movies...so much so, that the original value of Sharknado is now lost.

Avalanche Sharks is obviously a very cheesy film. But of all cheesy films, it is horribly executed. The CGI is terrible, and the story is just a piece of garbage. To be honest, how can you even imagine sharks living in the snow? At least with Sharknado, they were picked up and tossed around in the tornadoes to terrorize people in the city. Here, sharks are swimming in snow...do the writers even have brains?

Anyway, if you're looking for a cheesy movie, this one delivers for the first few minutes. After that, it loses its charm, if there was any in the first place. This Sharknado spin-off is definitely a disaster worse than any avalanche could ever pull off.