Frankenfish

A man gets eaten in the swamps, so the government sends in a cop and a medical examiner. They find a group of people with eclectic qualities, and one of the meanest and biggest fish ever to try and eat a human being. (This review should have a "Jaws" reference, but it won't... I'm not even going to write "they're going to need a bigger boat".)

Despite this film being incredibly cheesy (and this cheesiness leading to my lower rating), it was also really fun in the sense of a 1950s b-movie where things always had to be bigger. Backwoods swamp people are fun, as are hippie Rastafarians. And then we have Chinese mafia people working for a big game hunter who have women at his beck and call. It's really silly if you think about it (so just don't).

Some great effects are in this movie, as well as some really awful ones. The bad ones pretty much revolve around the CGI of the fish... although I still appreciate blood and guts in any form. The best effect for me was a shotgun blast scene (I won't say who gets it) that literally made me jump from my love seat and cheer. Yeah, maybe I'm deranged. You'd be deranged, too, if your idea of a good time was staying up all night watching "Frankenfish" and "The XXXorcist".

I also wanted to say that this film stood out in my mind as a film with a strong black lead. Aside from Ken Foree and maybe Tony Todd, horror has a long history of marginalizing black characters and often kills them off as soon as possible. But this film places a black man as the hero, without using his "blackness" as any kind of joke. (It's actually sad I feel the need to point such things as this out, but horror films are one of the last genres to enter the modern world.)

Anyway, you're going to find cheesy effects and cheesy acting if you watch this movie. The plot is also strange (the connection between the mafia and the fish is really strained). But I honestly liked it, so maybe this will appeal to you if you like those sorts of films... think "Eight-Legged Freaks", but without David Arquette.

I was not expecting to even like Frankenfish, but I did. The story is ridiculous on the whole, in the script there is a sea of corniness and eye-rolling cheesiness amid the odd sprinkle of wit, the characters are on the annoying stereotypical side and some of the effects are cheap. Despite all this, I did enjoy Frankenfish. The editing was not as choppy as I had anticipated and some of the locations are great. There is enough suspense and tense fun to make up for the ridiculousness of the story, the fish although not great in design(though I have seen far worse) are menacing and great to watch and while the lead is uncharismatic the acting is reasonably good. On the whole, not great, but I sort of liked it. 6/10 Bethany Cox

This reminded me of two movies: "Tremors" and "Anaconda," but this film was a Class B version and cross between those two "higher class" movies. This film had no known actors - and it showed - and the dialog was pretty stupid, too (not that it was intelligent in those other films.)

However, I have to admit the killer fish were cool. The special-effects on them were very good. These suckers were ugly, scary and life-like. Since most of the humans in this film were unappealing to me, I rooted for the fish. There were several of them, pretty good-sized and pretty tough to stop.

This also was like those sci-fi films of the '50s with the genetically-altered spiders or ants or whatever, making something many times larger and deadly. Here, it was some fish in the Bayou swamps. Some of the action scenes were shocking and were, frankly, the best part of the film. Don't expect much for the first 35 minutes, but once it kicks in, it gets pretty intense.

The language is profane; the people (except for the hero, of course) are pretty scuzzy and stupid. Recommended for those who want to be frightened for an hour and aren't discriminating about the quality of their film-watching!

Something big and nasty is hanging out in the Bayou, so baaad it can bite a gator to pieces. Could it possibly be a scientific experiment gone awry? Might it possibly threaten a group of people trapped in the middle of nowhere? Is it conceivable that the above group would be offed one by one? In various bloody circumstances? Would you believe the hero and his babe will somehow survive? Is there any way a rich evil middle-aged white male might be responsible? Is there anything in this movie you haven't seen before? the fish are pretty well done, but too high a body count (and too much foul language) for me. Think of Deep Rising with a smaller budget. If you like that sort of thing--enjoy.

Deep in the bayous of Louisiana, something is munching on the inhabitants of a small community of houseboats. A coroner and a biologist are sent to investigate, and discover that huge genetically engineered man-eating fish are responsible. Specially designed to be tracked by big-game hunters seeking the ultimate quarry, the fish are fast, vicious and intelligent. When the scaly terrors attack the boats and scupper the floating houses, the survivors think they are fish food; but help is at hand when the hunters arrive, armed to the teeth and hoping to bag a trophy or two...

Had the makers of Frankenfish planted their tongues much further into their cheeks and not taken proceedings quite so seriously, this movie may have been a fantastic addition to the monster genre; unfortunately, they refuse to accept the complete preposterousness of the premise and deliver an average movie when the result should have been so much more fun. It doesn't help that the fish themselves are, for the most part, badly rendered CGI. Loads of nifty gore and a few tasty babes (China Chow and K.D. Aubert provide the main eye candy for the blokes) help to compensate somewhat, but Frankenfish ultimately fails to match the genius of its wonderfully camp title.

I give this film 5 out of 10, plus a bonus point for the impressive amount of blood and guts on display.