Varsity Blood

If this film was released in 1981 it would be considered a staple of the sub-genre. That being said it is still one of the best movies made in the past decade or so that is clearly a throwback to the golden era.

The acting was above par for a low budget flick with the token most hated guy, Blaine (Blair Jackson), and the actresses who played Linda (Kiarra Hogan), Tina (Natalie Peyton) and Heather, doing a great job.

IMO one of the major flaws of the film was the final girl being miscast. Heather was the perfect final girl for the film and the actress who played her, (Elyse Bigler), is one of the most physically capable and athletic slasher chicks of all time (as well as one of the cutest).

The humor was on point and not overdone. The killer had a unique costume that worked well and the physicality to make the violence believable. The kills were standard slasher fare, which is a compliment. No need to put "avocado on the burger" (Silent Night) as they say. More suspense and atmosphere, perhaps a more ominous score and this would get a couple of bumps up and be about as good as it can get for a genre that is extremely well defined.

Won't go through the scenes as it has been well reviewed already. Just giving it a big thumbs up to those searching the reviews to see if it's a throwback slasher worth a watch.

Yes it is, put it on !

Youths from the high school in Hogeye, Texas, celebrate Halloween at an abandoned farmhouse where they're picked off by someone dressed as the mascot of their school, an Indian warrior with hatchets and arrows.

"Varsity Blood" (2014) is a low-budget Indie that harkens back to the slashers of the early 80s with all the tropes thereof. I like the idea of the killer using the mascot costume of the school, which I don't remember being done before. The cheerleaders & friends are attractive in a voluptuous way with only one blonde being the thin stereotype. Lexi Giovagnoli stands out as the doe-eyed protagonist, Hannah, but there are a few other choice females.

The filmmaking is fine, especially considering the micro-budget, but the story perhaps needed more suspense. Still, I was impressed by the all-around quality of the filmmaking. The problem is the wooden acting, which makes it seem like the actors are reading their lines from a teleprompter; not all the time, but often enough that it mars the movie. All writer/director Jake Helgren needed was more professional actors, but he obviously didn't have the money for it.

Nevertheless, if you can acclimate to the stilted tone of the verbiage, this is an entertaining traditional slasher. As usual, some of the characters are repellent, but there are likable (or bearable) ones as well.

The notable football movie "Varsity Blues" (1999) was shot in the same high school where this one was filmed, which happens to be the alma mater of Helgren.

The film runs 1 hour, 27 minutes, and was shot just east of Austin, Texas, in the towns of Elgin, Smithville, Bastrop & McDade. Elgin used to be called Hogeye, the name of the town in the story, but it was changed for obvious reasons.

GRADE: C/C- (4.5/10)

No matter how hard they try (or don't try) modern slashers can never seem to capture the endearingly innocent goofiness and corniness of the 78-83 era. Varsity Blood is no exception, although to be fair it does at least start in the right gear. The opening few minutes got my hopes up that I was about to witness a retro slasher homage done the right way for once (the killer looked truly hilarious and the film briefly seemed like fun), but it soon shifted gears into snooze-mode.

One of my main problems was the way almost every character garbled their lines out in such a lacklustre way that half of what they said was unintelligible. I don't mind dumb dialogue, in fact I love it, but only when I can make it out. This and the total lack of screen presence of most of the cast, and the fact the plot moved slower than an iceberg chained to a wall made me give up about half way through, which I rarely do. This wasn't insultingly annoying, but should've been much more fun than it was.

This is what the Disney Channel's version of an uncut slasher movie would be. Bad acting, characters that you wish will all get killed(except for two of them), writing that will make you cringe AND chuckle at the same time, and overall dumb and forced behavior. Watch without looking for any bit of masterful acting and you'll be fine.

This seems to be done in the same vein as Killer Movie and other C-grade slashers. As in virtually all slasher films, this has the typical boobs, butts, blood, and gore, along with cheesy dialogue. There's one girl who refers to her breasts as "bread" and "butter" because she says they'll make her a lot of money one day. I hope so, because her acting won't, at least not as she's shown in this movie. Yeah, it's done in a tongue-in-cheek type way, but I don't know if it's on purpose, or if it just read better on scrip than it sounds when spoken. "Maybe if someone had a relationship of their own, she wouldn't be so brown-nosed in everybody's s--t," which is said to a black cheerleader, and the girl's response is, "I'm sorry, was that a racial slur?" I guess the writers thought that would be clever or funny, but it was neither, just stupid. Some of the other dialogue, specifically when the "kids" are in the house making a plan to escape the killer is really funny, but I don't think it's intentional.

As for the killer mascot costume, it's more laughable than scary. The mask from Scream was scary. The mask from this movie looks like a discarded prop from the Bozo the Clown series from the early 1980s.

I'm really tired of the cliché movies, especially in horror. One of the things I'm talking about is a 1980s horror cliché of the victim running for their lives, while the killer is merely walking after them. However, the killer still manages to catch up. Silly. It's way past time we put that cliché to rest, but they use it over and over and over again in this movie. In fact, I don't believe the killer ever runs in this film. And something that's almost certainly taken from Scooby Doo is when the killer says "You meddling kids" towards the end. I had to LMAO when that was said. Speaking of the end, if the beginning and middle of the movie wasn't enough to ruin it, that end was just...STUPID with the killer explaining why this was all done.

I gave this a 3-star rating because it was entertaining because of the bad acting from most of the "kids." Even though it was bad acting, it was funny, which made it entertaining to some extent.