Sorority Party Massacre

With a name such as "Sorority Party Massacre" then you know that you will either be in for a very cheesy and campy slasher movie, or you will be in for a hilarious spoof on the slasher genre. With that in mind I sat down to watch "Sorority Party Massacre".

Bad mistake...

I managed to sit 45 minutes into the ordeal that is known as "Sorority Party Massacre" before I gave up on finishing the movie and just got up to find something else to watch. The storyline was just unfathomably boring and slow paced, and in those 45 minutes that I endured very little, and I do mean very little, had happened at all. And I totally lost all interest in watching the rest to see what happened.

Slasher movies have a tradition of being cheesy and low budget, but this one is the crowning on the cake. "Sorority Party Massacre" turned out to be a very, very boring movie.

The characters in the movie were characters that you hardly cared for, and you didn't really care if they lived or died. As in contrast to movies such as "Friday the 13th", where it is not just a matter of if they will die, it is a matter of how they will die. Such was not the case with the cardboard cut-out characters on parade in "Sorority Party Massacre".

I had hoped that seeing Richard Moll in a movie such as this might actually have helped the movie along, even if just a cameo. But I frankly don't recall seeing him here or remembering him here.

This is a movie that I have no intentions of returning to finish at a later point in time, because the movie just never appealed or spoke to me in any way.

"Sorority Party Massacre" was directed by Justin Jones, Chris Freeman and stars Ed ORoss,Kevin Sorbo,Richard Moll, Leslie Eastbrook, Louis Mandylor, Tom Downey, Marissa Skell, Eve Mauro, Yvette Yates, Adrian Kirk, Alison Mei Lan, Rebecca Grant, Casey Fitzgerald. The film is about a sorority house worth of girls out for some great P.R.as finalists, to become the winner of an exclusive grant.. (Or something like that). A detective finding his career as tragic as the sorority girls personalities is all that stands between the girls and a brutal killer.

"Sorority Party Massacre" is a cliché slasher comedy that knows it is a cliché slasher comedy. It plays up the vapid superficial aspects of bimbo meets death as if the film's very life depended on it. It is not a spoof horror comedy though because the darkness is and atmosphere of classic slasher horror is very well present in the film. However the ridiculousness of the characters and melodramatic "acting" is just too much to consider the flick a straight up slasher flick. At times it feels a little too "Prom Night III" and at other moments it is very "Sorority Row". The story is layered with typical sub-plots and explanations that can pass as long as you don't get too in depth with the film's story. The gore and kill shots are well done and very entertaining. This film is not a stellar work of slasher horror movie making but it warrants respect for the simple fact that it is a very fun, slasher comedy that brings the babes and the blood. It manages to capture the atmosphere and classic style of 80's slasher, as well as the campy comedy of satire. The film doesn't really bring anything new to the genre but it doesn't take anything from it either. I enjoyed the movie.

There's an opening sequence that suggests this is going to be a fairly standard horror movie with a madman offing sorority members. It has a charismatic actress, an interesting death, no hint of any humor, and... OK, granted, a plot that basically rips off Scream but at least makes it look like the film is headed somewhere. It's so completely not. The rest is a completely different movie. Suddenly it thinks it's a goofy comedy whodunit mystery, but it fails at everything. Instead of having an armchair detective trying to solve the mystery of what happened on this secluded island community, it has a cop who was suspended from his city job for being cartoonishly violent. Not very funny, right? Well, it just gets worse from there. The plot doesn't make much sense when you think about it. And, worst of all, there's no reason to care about any of these characters or anything that happens. It's just not any good, and wouldn't be without a total rewrite. Most of the actresses seem like they could have been pretty good with a decent script. Maybe next time the filmmakers can try making a horror movie instead of just pretending to be one to trick people into watching it.

Ordered to find a missing daughter, a detective's investigation leads to a small-town gathering of sorority girls for a special pageant only to learn the missing girl is the first in a maniac's rampage against them and must protect the remaining girls.

This is decidedly a mixed bag of a slasher that has a lot going for it and a lot of flaws. One of the biggest issues here is the rather convoluted back-story to the killer that really makes no sense at all, especially with the ridiculous explanation given for the rampage which is quite shockingly stupid. As well, there's the fact that there's more than one. That really makes for quite a confusing set of actions in the later half when the movie twists itself around to throwing in twists for the sake of twists when it makes no sense. There's at least four different occasions when the film could've ended without so much as really raising an eye to the fact that there's a new twist coming about simply for the sake of showcasing something new or supposedly shocking but really does nothing. As well, for something supposedly set-up as being this sleazy it's really not with very little skin on display and almost acting shy about doing so when it does, for there's a lesbian character that repeatedly tries to sleep with everyone but never does except in clothed flashbacks, and the few times it tries to show it off they're hidden in obscure angles or generally try as little as possible to show them off, and it really stinks of false advertisement to supposedly be this raunchy and sleazy but really not. Finally, the fact that this is a missing-person's investigation for the majority of the running time means that there's very little slashing going on until the final half-hour, when things really get going but the majority of the first half is pretty much all shot with barely any action going on at all with the group running all over town trying to find out what's going on with the missing girls. That said, there's still some good stuff going on here as, though there's a rather lame back-story for the killer, the mystery of who's behind it is handled rather well and is a pretty competent guessing game overall. As well, the kills are shockingly brutal and provide plenty of variety and originality with them being based on the individual's own fears, which is a handy trick for further keeping the killer's identity a secret, and when it's all wrapped up with a great body count and plenty of action in that final half, there's some solid work here that does recover some of the flaws present.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Nudity.

In the intro some college girl has car troubles and stops at some desolate station. It's night of course and she's by herself with her dog. At some point she gets calls from a creepy voice asking her what she's afraid of and what's the scariest way to die for her. We learn that her father is a cop. But with a disabled car and little phone reception all she can do is run. The creep follows her and sprays acid on her body and face.

After this longer-than-necessary into follows some of the longest intro credits I've seen. Finally the next scene begins. Some violent detective is reprimanded by his boss, who is the intro girl's father. He puts the detective on leave, but he offers to looks for the daughter who hasn't checked in for a day so the dad is worried. He agrees and sends detective Watts to investigate.

When he arrives he meets the dumb and clueless local sheriff. The girl was on her way to a sorority competition where girls get a chance to win a grant. None of other girls have seen the girl. Watts discovers that she's not the first girl to disappear but over the decades dozens of girls have. The sheriff had no idea.

Now as they start investigating, power is cutout wherever they go, phonelines are dead everywhere, and the girls start dying according to their greatest fear, which is something they had to reveal when interviewed by the woman in charge of the grant and owner of the place the girls are visiting. There are a lot of suspects here. Eventually we learn who is behind the killings and why.

Sorority Party Massacre is the kind of movie you want to like. It has a strong but long intro, a good cast with Downey, O'Ross, Mauro, Sorbo, Mandylor. It has a bunch of girls. It has the resources and a rich story. What it doesn't have is a sorority party and not much of a massacre. For a B-movie, acting is very good all around. Quickly though you notice the main problem, which is a rather odd one. The story is told from the perspective of the cop, not from the perspective of the victims, one of the girls. It's a strange choice, which I guess could have worked, but here it just doesn't. Downey is a good actor and a good lead. Still, you keep waiting for the perspective to shift toward the girls. It never does. As a result, for most of the movie you don't care for the girls or their fate as their characters are never really established and also get little screen time. For a "...Massacre" titled movie, there is not enough violence or gore. And almost no nudity. The lovely Eve Mauro gets to play a nasty violent chick unfortunately.

Another problem is that instead of going for straight horror they went for goofy comedy, which at no point was particularly funny. Some of it is slapstick and adolescent. The story at least proved to be more involved than expected. I'd even say they ended up trying to do more than they should have. There isn't jut one, but several twists increasing the unlikelyhood of it all.

Sorority Party Massacre is unfortunately a wasted opportunity. The name of this movie shouldn't be taken seriously.