Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver

I thought Part One of Rebel Moon was horrible, but Part Two literally said, "Hold my beer!" -- and then proceeded to do the impossible! Take millions of dollars in budget, hire the best special effects artists, great actors, and commence to shoot a "movie" with the most ill-conceived, disjointed, illogical, and atrociously paced "storyline" imaginable!

I'm the biggest Star Wars fan ever, and after reading Rebel Moon was originally meant to be a Star Wars project, I thought this would be at least somewhat watchable. I really wanted to like these two movies!

But this was the laziest, nonsensical "writing" I've ever seen in my life! It's rare for me to literally HATE a movie, but this one definitely falls into that category! Why? Because the movie is INSULTING! Insulting because there are great writers and filmmakers out there worth their weight in gold, but "Hollywood" instead keeps giving millions to this Zack Snyder hack to keep churning out crap fest after crap fest!

No wonder Hollywood is in trouble! It's run by MORONS!

.... Watch this.

I actually fell asleep, during the table scene.

Both movies are incredibly formulaic and tropey.

There are some nice visuals but it feels like an incredible waste of vision.

I like thinking about the details of movies but for the love of me I don't get this back to basics life style of the farming, using manual labour except for the anti gravity carts.

And when did that lady have a chance to crochet for each of the heroes especially after a full day of farming.

So much of the story doesn't make any sense, even when attempting to cookie cutter from other movies.

It's like they copy/pasted and then let a cat walk across the keyboard.

The fort movie was an easy going pleasing experience. Not great, not terrible. Fun to watch. Yes, it had it's share of bad parts, but overall it was OK.

But the second one, oh my God, it was pretty awful.

Half the movie consists of slow motion shots. Uncalled for slow motion. There is nothing dramatic, nothing too fast, nothing that will actually require slow motion. Just a gimmick to double the time wasted on a scene.

Quite a lot of flashbacks, presenting the history of the heroes. Of course, the flashbacks are full of slow motion.

Then, the whole ideea, which is a continuation of Part One, nothing new, nothing interesting: one small village (+ 5-6 heroes) are up against a huge space ship, a Dreadnought, a warship.

And the argument of the entire conflict?! Some bags of grain and one single enemy.

Blast the entire village from orbit, plus 1000 square kilometers around it, call it a day.

What a load of tosh.

I didn't feel any connection with any of the cliched, 2-dimensional characters so didn't care when any of them died.

However, it gets a few stars for great visuals and CGI, the satisfying splashy-lava effect of the blasters, and the light-trail effects of the light sabres. The coolest moment was the James the mech with his cloak in his One Punch Man moment.

Half the movie was the farmers harvesting wheat and after one day of combat training got a better kill-death ratio than any of the veterans.

The other half of the movie was a guy turning the little wheel to aim the Dreadnaught cannon.

Remind me never to watch any more Synder movies on Netflix.

This has been bothering me for a day or so now. I have literally never written a review before. But, I had to share what I'm seeing with others.

I've seen people compare this movie/movies to Star wars and Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. But I mean a small town being pushed around by a massive force. Who looks for warriors to help keep their town.

Anyways, it's not bad but not great either. It's a nice action movie for at home viewing. If your looking for a strong story or edge of your seat action. Then this movie isn't for you. But if you're looking for something to watch on Saturday night then just have fun and don't think about it.