What to Expect When You're Expecting

You know what I expect? I expect better movies! "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is once again another ensemble rom-com that's basically just a bunch of short stories glued together in a full-length motion picture. You know, with a cast like this, this movie would have been better off with a title like "What to Expect When You're 'Selling Out'". I wouldn't say that this movie was "god-awful", I suppose that maybe a married couple might enjoy something here, but this is still an unoriginal, predictable, and unmemorable piece of "nothing". Director Kirk Jones has provided to give us a giant predictable "sell-out" that does nothing but go with the usual clichés. In movies like this, we usually get a bunch of individual stories packed in one movie, some that we care about, and some that we don't care about. Each story talks about a group of couples who are about to either have a baby, adopt a baby, or deciding whether to have the baby or not. We've seen these stories plenty of times before, so there's already a clue for the audience to know what will happen next. There are some chuckle-inducing moments, and I cared for a few story lines, but it's just a shame because there are so many likable actors in this movie, so this might be considered as a waste of talent. Cameron Diaz plays a weight loss contestant on a reality show who's expecting a newborn with Matthew Morrison, Jennifer Lopez takes the "Angelina Jolie" perspective to adopt an African baby, Elizabeth Banks plays a pregnant woman with tons of anxiety problems on the torture of pregnancy, and what do you know, Chris Rock is actually the leader of a group of "baby daddies". These story lines are probably careless, and mostly not funny, if you ask me! The only two story lines I actually enjoyed involves Anna Kendrick as a young woman who is expecting a baby after a certain one-night stand, and Dennis Quaid as a NASCAR legend who's expecting a new baby with his much younger, and ridiculously hot wife, played by Brooklyn Decker. I actually need to score this movie some points for that! But either way, I wasn't surprised! This movie is exactly what everyone thought it was going to be, so I guess I can say I'm not really that upset with this movie. But "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is not worth watching in any way, but if you're the type of person who enjoys these type of movies, my advice to you...wait for rental! I didn't expect that remark to pop out of my mouth. "What to Expect When You're Expecting", in my review, "predictable and mediocre, but overall unimpressive".

Contrarily to this adapted verbose title, one shouldn't 'expect' much that is, unless literary desecration is in your hand of cards--if that is the game you're looking to play, then consider this mess a winner.

Inspired by Heidi Murkoff's multimillion-selling-self-help-book for expectant mothers--holding the same name--'What to Expect', the film, will be much less prolific. Obviously a lot more work, and money, towards getting an ensemble cast--as opposed to garnering producers with emphasis on purpose and ingenuity--the filmmakers, here, create a product that is not the least bit unique it's a generic label laden with followed genre-specific clichés, bawdy humor, and disjointed direction.

Despite its few laughs, known cast, and affecting hints towards pregnancy, 'What to Expect' is an over-packed piece of "luggage" that becomes too frustrating to haul around. An immersion too tediously futile and not nearly enough funny. Expect worse...

What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012)

Director: Kirk Jones. Cast: Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Chace Crawford, Anna Kendrick, Matthew Morrison, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock.

Don't ask me what possessed me to go and watch this film. In my defence I can tell you that I had seen everything else at my local multiplex and I had 2 hours to spare. Also the cast seemed impressive enough... and, to top it all up, my wife is pregnant, so I thought at least I would fit its target audience just perfectly.

To be completely honest I was expecting (sorry about the pun) something a lot worse: this is one of those average ensemble comedies where, as always some of the stories and some of the characters are more successful than others but in the end they are so many of them that if you are a parent or preparing to be one, you're bound to find a something to like... Other than that, this is all pure middle-class Hollywood, pretty slick, light-hearted but with enough sweet-and-sour moments to make it feel like it's actually about something. Obviously at the end of the day it's all rather forgettable, and it's actually a great shame, because the acting talent a shown here is impressive (surprisingly even Jennifer Lopez showcases a nuanced performance unlike much we'd seen before) both directing and editing are potentially quite skilled at doing what they do and the few good moments here and there give you a little glimpse of what it could have been.

The main problem is that the film is just not funny enough to be able to be a crowd pleaser and looses itself among the too many subplots, some of which are way off the main subject, to be able to become a classic (the golf cart chase sequence is one of the lowest and unfunny points and the father group sequences, despite Chris Rock, are just too indulgent, over the top and long). However having said all this, I must confess, even though I laughed very little, I found myself moved a couple of times: oh dear, it really must be the hormones (I think they call it sympathetic pregnancy).

6/10 wp.me/p19wJ2-yv

Honestly, the reason for seeing this movie was nothing more and nothing less than the desire to go to the cinema with a friend. With some other movies not interesting her, it was between The Lucky Ones and this one, both movies that have a low score on IMDb. I was pleasantly surprised, however, with not just the actors in the movie but also with the dialogue and chemistry on screen, which seemed very natural. I definitely enjoyed watching it and will most likely end up buying it on DVD; not even the fact that Chris Rock was in it bothered me, whereas I usually can't stand him. I have to applaud Jennifer Lopez too, I never thought much of her as an actress, but I found myself sympathizing with her and liking her portrayal of the character. Over all, I find that this movie deserves a higher score than it's currently got on IMDb.

I was expecting to come away with a sassy name for this new genre, the Hollywood-ensemble rom-com, but there was nothing clever to provide any inspiration in "What to Expect When You're Expecting". The best line that I have heard to describe this comes from a fellow IMDb user, gregeichelberger, "It's "New Year's Eve" in the neo-natal unit; "Valentine's Day" with a uterus; "Knocked Up" times five." That sums up the whole thing perfectly.

The Hollywood ensemble is this frustrating trend to load the movie with as many stars as possible, so you have only floating heads and no actual characters. Surprisingly, one of the worst offenders is the similarly-themed indie dramedy "Conception" (2010) where we get to follow 9 (yes, 9!) different couples. This movie isn't as bad, there are only 5 main couples.

The intertwining of them is very limited. The four other girls basically all watch Jules (Cameron Diaz) on her reality TV shows. The timing, on the other hand, is all in sync. They get pregnant at the same time, start showing at the same time, and give birth at the same time. The point is of course that you don't know what to expect since each girl's pregnancy is different and experiences it differently.

Jules is going to control it – whether her partner tags along or not; Holly (Jennifer Lopez) is going to lie her way through adoption if that's what it takes; Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) wants the joy but gets the worst; Skyler (Brooklyn Decker) is going to make it perfect, just like herself; Rosie (Anna Kendrick) doesn't know what she's going to do. If the movie had left it at that, it would have been cute, romantic, funny and heartfelt, and possibly empowering.

But then they introduced "the dude pack" which is even worse than it sounds. They are a group of fathers, led by Chris Rock, who are given the stupidest sounding lines to try and make funny. It was painful how unfunny it was. Imagine if you will, a Hollywood writer being paid to come up with never-before-said lines to turn into popular catch-phrases. The way "Horrible Bosses" was almost successful (but ultimately not) with Sudeikis' "I would like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states". That was exactly the case with the "comedy" in this movie. All of their lines were met with a few unimpressed question marks on faces but never any laughs.

However, the mothers-to-be were pretty good. Some were on the boring side, but two were able to deliver enough humour and heart to almost make up for the entirety of "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I don't know what it is about Anna Kendrick but she makes my heart melt every time she's on the screen. Extremely cute, in a relatable kind of way, and able to hold our hearts, she was the one that got us through this movie. Elizabeth Banks was able to go as over-the-top as only pregnant movie heroines are allowed to and gave it her all to deliver the comedy of what not to expect. Of course, it wasn't quite enough because we do know exactly what to expect.