Hercules

There's nothing worse than a film that's completely clichéd in every way. Or at least I thought so until I watched 'Hercules.' It's absolutely everything you've seen a thousand times before, therefore it's a mystery as to why I enjoyed it as much as I did.

From what I hear it's hardly based on fact (and when I say 'fact' I mean the Greek legend of Zeus and Mount Olympus etc). Instead, it's based on a comic book which, in turn, is based on the classic tale of Zeus' half human-half god son, Hercules, and his adventures. Seeing as I've completely forgotten everything I learned about Ancient Greece at school and I've never read the comic books, I can't comment on how well it ties into whatever source material it's based on. However, I can tell you that – if you're in the right frame of mind – it is quite good fun.

Dwayne 'The sometimes Rock' Johnson plays our titular character and he plays him with as much charm as you'd expect from our muscle-bound leading man. Many have criticised him as an 'actor,' but then he doesn't need to do an awful lot of soul-searching to find inspiration to smash every baddie he encounters in the face. He does the job. He's cool. He's likable. And he wipes the floor with monster he meets.

And Dwayne's not alone in his quest. Unusually, we get to see quite a lot of his mates, namely the band of warriors who follows him wherever he goes, generally picking off anyone who's still alive after Herc has beaten an entire army to a pulp. Yes, his homies are all walking clichés, but they're also fun enough to root for and it's simply nice to see that, despite being 'part immortal' on his father's side, even Herc needs a chum or two to get things done.

Do you really need to know what they do? There's a baddie doing bad things. Herc and co have to stop him. Don't bother wasting any more time on plot intricacies than that.

The film runs for an hour and a half and, if I'm honest, it actually feels a bit rushed. If they'd added an extra 20-30 minutes of character development, they really could have made something quite epic (as opposed to a fun little B-movie). Perhaps the worst thing about it is the computer-generated effects. And they're worse at the beginning. Seriously, there are some scenes near the start that looked like they were created by a media student for his homework assignment (they do get better. A bit).

If you want to know what sort of mind frame I was in when I watched this, I'll tell you. I was home from work with a cold. I didn't feel 100% and was wrapped up under a blanket as I watched Hercules and his posse kicking ass. I didn't want a deep and meaningful, heart-wrenching drama or anything I had to think about. I just wanted a fun little action movie to rest my brain to. And I got one. If you find yourself in a similar state, this is the kind of movie that should nurse you back to full health.

Someone had the incredibly stupid idea of showing Hercules' infamous tasks within the first five minutes and then tell a somewhat conventional story of antique battles and rebellion. The Rock is a charismatic hero and his team works, too. Without this cast this movie would have fallen to pieces. As it is, the action is decent, the result entertaining enough and thankfully it doesn't take itself too seriously. But still, whoever came up with this simplistic plot should be smacked over the head.

Hercules and chums are mercenaries, pressed into service for Lord Cotys to put down a rebel uprising which looks likely to overthrow the throne.

The trailer teases this movie as being a myths and monsters movie: it isn't. It's a fairly routine swords and sandals actioner, and the mythical critters teased in the trailer all come before the opening title, and are either tall tales depicted, or things seen unclearly from a distance. What is left is a rather dark film with a lot of battle action, pitched uneasily at a level which is too graphic for family viewing and not graphic enough for those who like blood and dismemberment.

There is a single F word - unnecessary and out of place.

Dwayne Johnson does this stuff well - he looks good, has great physical presence and, even when the part is somewhat darker than usual, he remains very likable. The supporting cast are all quite good - it was interesting to see Rufus Sewell playing a goodie for once (kind of like a young Ian McShane even though McShane was also in the film, with all the best moments of humour), and John Hurt gets to play both ends of the spectrum, meek and scenery-chewing.

I quite liked this - it is certainly a lot better than this year's previous Hercules offering - but felt that it was a missed opportunity: they promised me monsters and then didn't deliver them!

"I thought heroes fight for glory. But mercenaries fight for gold."

Remember my review of "The Legend of Hercules" ? Probably you noticed that I wasn't really impressed by it. First, there was no sign of the "Twelve labors" in this film. And it was a hodgepodge of topics from various films. It looked a bit like "Gladiator" mixed with "Pompeii" and "300". And also, Kellan Lutz didn't have enough charisma to become a mythical figure like Hercules. That's why I was so curious about this version with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. And although it's not exactly a masterpiece, it still could captivate me. First of all there was a small part dedicated to the labors and also because of some memorable moments.

What intrigued me the most was the fact that one questioned Hercules's status as a god in a subtle way. I doubted at some point whether he really was a descendant of Zeus or simply a mortal provided with the necessary muscles and fighting skills. It seemed as if he wasn't immortal : "Cover up, before your loyal army sees you bleed like a mortal". It was as if he used that unique status to scare off opponents ("The more they believe Hercules is truly the son of Zeus, the less likely they are to fight") or to use this infamous reputation as a lure for new clients. The opening scene with Hercules being assisted by his companions to hunt down a band of pirates, gave the impression as if he couldn't single-handedly get the job done.

Okay, maybe it was the intention to make "the mystery Hercules", invincible son of Zeus, more mysterious. Johnson plays a heck of a Hercules. That's an indisputable certainty. His impressive torso and superhuman biceps filled with swollen veins make him a fearsome and imposing demigod. "Conan" will always be associated with Schwarzenegger. Believe me, "Hercules" will be the same for Johnson. An ideal role written especially for him. It's just pure joy to see this semi-barbarian screaming out loud while rushing towards his opponents, frantically waving with a huge mace. With crushed and split skulls as a result. The level of adrenaline is skyrocketing during the great battles.

Of course you could say that they've borrowed from other classics. It's just like "The magnificent seven". A group of professional mercenaries taking upon themselves the arduous task of training a group of non-military citizens in martial art. Obviously, this army of simpletons grows out to be the most ruthless killing machine ever. In recent years we've been spoiled with epic battles as seen in "300" and "The Lord of the Rings". Unfortunately, the battles here aren't as overwhelming as the latter. And you can also feel a bit of the atmosphere from the movie "Gladiator" in this mythical spectacle.

But unlike "The legend of Hercules" you can see some old timers at work here. Like John Hurt who plays the part of Lord Cotys, king of Thrace. He wants Hercules and his henchmen to defeat a violent warlord. And Ian McShane and Rufus Sewell play respectively Amphiaraus and Autolycus, two companions of Hercules. Each of them are veterans who bring some drama into the story. And there's also some humor to enjoy. The funny dialogs between the group members you definitely can call successful. Fortunately they didn't end up with a type of Bud Spencer parody full of silly jokes. The final result is a perfect balance between light-hearted humor and spectacular action. So if you're a fan of straightforward action with a humorous wink, you'll like this Hercules !

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This film was a real surprise to me. I was expecting something that was a cross between Kevin Sorbo's TV show and Wrath of the Titans. But the producers chose a completely different direction for this re-telling. Aside from the shorts at the beginning we see no monsters. Nor do we see beautiful gods and goddesses. Hercules' greatest enemy in this story is the very real (and human) threat of betrayal and treachery. And rather than a one man- show, we see Hercules aided by a band of loyal friends who are every bit as skilled as the demigod. The film raises the question what is more important: what others believe of you or what you believe about yourself? The film has a bevy of great actors including John Hurt, Ian McShane and Rufus Sewell and I think Dwayne Johnson is perfect for the main role.