The Legend of Hercules

Hercules is not entirely a disaster, as one might expect. A low-budget PG-13 adaptation of 300-style movies made in Bulgaria, this movie is in line with the expectations on what Renny Harlin is capable of.

While not being a disaster on a whole, it's a disaster in parts. The special effects, while being descent 3D images at times, are badly connected with live shots. There are many moments when perspective of such sequences is distorted in really obvious (and unintentionally funny) ways. There are numerous anachronisms. Characters use costumes and jewelry that could not be available in ancient Greece. Screenplay, while not being completely absurd, has some rather awkward dialog lines and unexplainable plot moments.

Unfortunately, the movie is not a Hercules legend but rather a shallow love story and family drama. There's even a bathing scene in a romantic- looking pond with flowers under a waterfall (the water in the pond is so dirty though that one can only feel pity for the actors). There are no heroic deeds of Hercules depicted in this movie.

One last blow for Hercules is PG-13 rating. There's no blood at all. When swords pierce bodies, they re-appear absolutely clean. When one of the characters was struck in the neck, the next shot showed his neck without a sign of a would or even a drop of blood. One of the few things the movie managed to deliver were some dynamic battle sequences; but PG- 13 made them look fake. In the age of 300 and Spartacus TV show, this is not something you want to waste your time on.

Unless you wish to add to a surprising $8 mln box office success after its first weekend, which will probably make this movie more profitable than most other current releases.

It is absolutely shocking that this movie came out in today's market. The dialog was horrible: cliché and predictable. The entire film was, in fact, predictable. We saw the previews, we went to the film, and about ten minutes in we knew it was bad. We gave it a chance, hoping it would get better, that it would redeem itself in some way. It did not. It got worse. If you are just looking for an entertaining film, this is a major disappointment, to say the least. Obvious special effects, slow motion for every other move in every fight scene, and terrible, I mean tragic, dialog. If you are a fan of Greek mythology, it's downright offensive. Don't waste your time or your money.

In 1200 B.C. Greece, King Amphitryon conquers Argos by killing its ruler. Queen Alcmene is tired of his constant war. Hera allows her to have a baby with Zeus who would grow up to be the half-God champion Hercules (Kellan Lutz). He falls in love with Princess Hebe of Crete but his jealous older half-brother Iphicles announces his marriage to her. Hercules is sent to Egypt where he is set up for an ambush and sold into slavery.

The opening fight is slightly interesting. It tries to be 300 but it's not as good. It starts out as a cheaper version of that style. That would be fine but it only gets worst from there. Kellan Lutz comes in and the muscle-bound dude is not charismatic enough to lead. The action style becomes cheaper and weaker. This Greek epic story has never seem less compelling.

Let me start off by saying I am a huge fantasy fan. I can usually enjoy any swords and sorcery type film and find something good about it. Now let me say Wow this movie was bad. I mean I thought this kind of clumsy, lowest common denominator filmmaking died in the 80's. It is bad when I asked the organizer to give me a refund on a free prescreening.

Where to begin? I don't expect much in this type of movie in terms of plot or characterization. In action "porn" like this, the plot is usually just barely coherent enough to move from one action sequence to the next and the characters are as black and white as a chessboard. This movie somehow delivers LESS than that.

It is staggering to me that with a mythology as rich and engaging to draw from, they choose a tired rehashing of Gladiator as the main focus of the film. No doubt holding the more interesting material back for future sequels. The laughable love story is unengaging, poorly scripted and given far too much screen time.

What really disappoints is the action sequences. Hercules is supposed to be a demigod that achieves the impossible; the movie portrays none of this. It wastes a good deal of time with a clumsy mix of fighting scenes in which Hercules is repeatedly captured and/or defeated. WTF? It is only towards the end that an attempt is made to show Hercules as he should be seen, but I had tuned out long before then.

Oddly enough, the blood and gore in this film is kept to a minimum, probably to keep it at PG-13 in hopes of duping the largest possible audience to drop money on it. It would have really benefited from a Conan-esque level of violence to give the movie more weight and better directed action sequences. The dramatic pause in the middle of the action (made famous in the movie 300) is in every single action sequence.

I really don't know what I recommend from this film. Everything in the movie has been done better in other films. I hope this film tanks but I doubt it. It will make a profit and encourage more of the same I'm sure.

Absolutely Average and Below in Every Way, this by the Numbers Filmmaking from a Very Inconsistent Director is so Unremarkable that it Barely Exists and is in Danger of Fading from Memory So Fast that the Mythology of Hercules is Safe.

This is Not Awful, Not Good, Not Much of Anything. It just Sort of Lies there with Nothing to Say, Attract Attention or be Concerned About. The Acting is Across the Board Boring. The Story is Unfaithful to its Source Material and the Story being Told is so Familiar and Stale that even Youngsters will be Disappointed.

It is Disposable and Dull with that Old PG-13 Curse of Banality and Yawn Inducing Action Scenes (that are worse when dealing with swords, spears, and Gladiator type mayhem) that the Battles are Rendered War Weary from the Outset.

Overall, Not the Worst Thing ever, but if You are Going to Watch it, do it Soon before it Ceases to Exist like the Pools of Sweat from a Strenuous Workout.