One-Eyed Monster

Adult star Ron Jeremy owes his success is to the veritable monster. In this raunchy horror comedy, Ron's legendary livelihood becomes a literal monster after he is struck by a strange light from outer space. Inhabited by an alien force, Jeremy's unproportional appendage detaches itself from his body and goes on the rampage, killing the cast and crew of a hardcore movie being filmed at a remote cabin in the Californian mountains.

I really wasn't expecting to enjoy this crazy comedy, but was pleasantly surprised by how funny it actually is, the fun script taking the monster movie genre's many clichés and subverting them to suit the adult movie setting. Jeremy is actually a far better actor than I remembered, but is killed off fairly quickly (but not before delivering the poignant line "All I can do is kiss the tip"), leaving it up to Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Jeremy's frequent real-life co-star Veronica Hart, cult actor Charles Napier (Supervixens), and a handful of unknowns to battle the orifice-obsessed alien-possessed pecker. Hat's off to Caleb Mayo as T.J., the MacGyver of the group (inventor of the neuro tactile simulator), sexy Carmen Hart for providing the nudity as brunette adult star Angel, and Jason Graham as hero Jonah, who delivers his ridiculous lines with a stoicism and seriousness guaranteed to delight.

My major complaint - and I can't believe I'm writing this - is that the film simply doesn't feature enough of Ron Jeremy's disembodied dong: some stop-motion footage of it crawling like an inchworm (or a nine inch worm, as one character remarks) or the use of puppetry to show it attacking its victims would have helped immensely (although I understand that the budget may have not stretched to this). Also, Napier's long monologue about his experience with a similar monster in Vietnam isn't quite the hilarious show-stopper that it was clearly intended to be.

Still, with a couple of hot women (Carmen Hart, plus blonde babe Jenny Guy as her fellow adult performer Wanda), a smattering of gore (the one-eyed-monster poking a hole through Angel's head and slicing sleazy producer Jim in half), and a huge helping of smutty silliness, One-Eyed Monster does what it sets out to do: provide 84 minutes of puerile fun.

The premise is bold and charming enough, and "it's raining dick" does qualify as a classic monologue. But ultimately, there's not enough meat here to satisfy.

The biggest fail is poor Amber Benson, who clearly joined the project late on to provide a 'name' of sorts. It's painfully obvious that she was actually green-screened in to several scenes in post production, often with wildly different encoding/film stock than the other cast. Somewhere out there is a no-name actress who shot those scenes and who was simple overlayed with the usefully chunky Ms Benson. I weep for her, and for her career.

Don't get me wrong: with the right amount of moonshine in you, this is quite a fun film, amiably played and competently written and shot, but it's too good to be bad enough to be good, but not good enough to enjoy on its merits, if you follow.

This film is so funny it really is underrated one I'd reccomend if you want a laugh

As B-Horror movies go, "One Eyed Monster" is a unique hit. You have to love Ron Jeremy...the porn star who refuses to take himself too seriously. The premise is almost unheard of. You have to watch "Pervert!" to find another movie where a detached penis is the serial killer. Of course, THIS movie is MUCH better because the actors do a much better job. "One Eyed Monster" is absolutely hilarious. It's simple, stupid and completely enjoyable. And, oddly enough, when you consider the subject material, there is a veritable lack of nudity throughout the movie. Just that fact alone is amazing when you consider porn actresses Veronica Hart and Carmen Hart are also in the movie. There are a lot of lines which you will be repeating because they are just so silly. You gotta watch this!

The crew shooting a pornography film head toward on old cabin in the middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members.

Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been. Naturally the movie doesn't take itself seriously but it never feels like its using its full potential. Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous. The characters, thankfully have some effort put into them, without the movie getting depressing as victims are killed off.

For what its worth, this movie is far superior to "Penetration Angst" and "Teeth", although that's not saying much.