A.I. Assault

While transporting airborne two state-of-art robots with artificial intelligence and a team of scientists, the ultimate weapons are accidentally activated, killing the humans and crashing the airplane in an isolated island. A team of marines leaded by Major Richard Tunney (Joe Lando) and with the support of the scientist Susan Foster (Lisa LoCicero) is assigned to retrieve or destroy the robots within a schedule. Meanwhile, a gang of thieves that had robbed US$ 2,000,000.00 in a passenger vessel has trouble with the rotor of their helicopter and lands in the same island.

"A.I. Assault" is flawed and full of holes, and my only consolation is that I have seen movies worse than this one. The story is absurd: the helicopter of the thugs lands exactly in the same dangerous island; the military force brings inadequate weapons, in spite of knowing that only one rifle is suitable to fight against the invincible robots; their adviser, Dr. Susan Foster, acts like a retarded; the pilot of the helicopter has a crisis of morality and leaves two million dollars in the island. The robots seem to be prepared to destroy ham actors and actresses, actually that is what they do along the movie, therefore they are useful weapons. The story is a sort of "Jurassic Park III" with the devices from the 2006 "War of the Worlds", and the special effects are reasonable for a B-movie. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Shockwave"

I've never reviewed a movie before without watching the whole thing. This is a special case. I began watching the movie. 3 minute later, crappiness reached critical mass. People screaming at badly animated CGI robots. Pistols with endless clips that magically fire without recoil (In fact, upon looking closer, I realized that the pistols are more magical than I realized at first. They somehow fire without the hammer even moving!) Right about the time the guy in camouflage parked his truck underneath the robot and waited for it to laser him is where I quit watching and started doing my math homework. Did they even try with this movie? Jeez. I feel insulted. Thank God I only wasted $2 renting it. Easiest review I've ever made.

CCCCCCRRRRAAAAAPPPPP! I've seen better homemade movies on YouTube.

Wow. Some of my favorite actors are completely wasted in this movie. They try, some more than others, but they can't save this clunker of a script in the hands of an incompetent director. Oh look, the writer and director are the same person: Jim Wynorski.

You can tell that this movie had a reasonable budget, but Jim Wynorski doesn't know what to do with it. All of his shots are uninspired and clunky. Likewise, the editing is amateurish. A first year film student could do better.

The CGI effects are clean, but they are not integrated well into the live action scenes. Human actors react to things that don't happen, or are out of sync with the CGI action. For example, while being attacked, someone is thrown to the ground by a CGI robot that never gets anywhere close to the actor.

Additionally, the music is really lame. Casio keyboard quality from someone's basement.

But the worst element is the script. Everything about it is terrible. The story, the lines and the characters are all pathetic.

The only things keeping the movie from being a 1 rating are the actors and the rest of the production staff. The camera work is good, as are the costumes, sets, sound, etc. i.e. it's a well-made crappy movie.

It actually gives you the illusion that the dialog isn't completely under-developed. I actually didn't find the acting to be terrible, if they were given some decent lines, well actually if this movie was completely re-written, it would have been a hell of a lot better.

The special effects were entertaining, I'm sure the film crew were on a limited budget, and I give them props for what they managed to squeeze from I'm guessing, an already dry lemon. Well aside from the plane scene... But then again, nothing can be made perfect. If you rent this movie, you should expect it not to be worth you're money, because there's a lot of other sci-fi movies out there. But if you you don't care about a measly dollar, then get it out, for a laugh at least. ;)

Another made-for-Tele movie which is completely horrible. There is barely any plot, the acting, writing, and of course the god-awful directing of today's worst director and Ed Wood impersonator, Jim Wynorski, who, when not making terrible plot less porn movies with hideous women, is making crappy straight to video or Sci-fi "original" movies. Basically this is a bad rip-off of War of the worlds, and to top it all off, it's another failed attempt of a Sci-fi original movie. If Sci-fi continually pulls bad ideas out of their ass with overtones of someone Else's' films, then the horror business if being dug to an early grave. Which is sad because I am a horror filmmaker myself of what one may call 'b-flicks' but when I see these computer-generated bloody bull-crap, it makes me want to throw up. If this movie comes on the Tele again, kill yourself, it will make you hate your remaining life.