Le scomunicate di San Valentino

Aaaah! The '70s - THE decade of the exploitation movie: Italian cannibal films, blaxploitation, Nazisploitation, and, of course, nunsploitation, of which The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine is a prime example. It's not the most explicit of naughty nun movies, but it does tick a lot of the expected boxes: hot nuns, sex, torture, a crazy abbess, lesbianism, and murder, making it a reasonably fun time for fans of the genre.

Clearly inspired by Romeo and Juliet, the plot sees lovers Lucita (Jenny Tamburi) and Esteban (Paolo Malco) unable to wed because of the long-running feud between their families. To make matters even worse, Lucita is sent to a covent by her father, while Esteban is accused of heresy and hunted by the Inquisition. Chased by three soldiers, Esteban is wounded, but still manages to kill his attackers and make his way to the convent where Lucita is living. Given sanctuary by the verger, Esteban is reunited with Lucita, but not for long... the poor woman is wrongly accused of the murder of her lesbian room-mate Josefa (Bruna Beani) and sentenced to be burned alive. Can Esteban prove her innocence before it is too late?

The naughtiness is limited to bare breasts and butts, and one rather tame sex scene - there's nothing quite on the level of dirty Joe D'amato or sleaze-master Jess Franco - but the women who shed their clothes are mostly attractive, with Tamburi as Lucita being especially sexy; it's no wonder Esteban is willing to risk his life for her. Likewise, the torture isn't too extreme - no nipple slicing or skin flaying on this occasion - but it suffices. Director Sergio Grieco keeps the pace lively throughout, leading to a tense race against time to rescue Lucita from a drooling horde of crazed topless nuns, with a happy ending for these particular star cross'd lovers.

At risk of sounding sleazy, I do like 70/80's exploitation flicks. I just can't get enough of the weirdness that they offer.

Coming across a film with a title like this could and should be a reason to rejoice. If only it lived up to it's name.

During Inquisition-era Spain, a man is wrongly accused of a crime. In his attempt to flee he is injured and takes refuge in a convent. This convent also happens to be the same place his beloved has been put by her father, who wants to keep the love birds apart. All looks like it might turn out well, until our female lead's room-mate turns up dead and she is the prime suspect.

Given name and set-up, one would imagine all sorts of sacrilegious sexual goings-on, but instead the film takes itself really seriously and sexual encounters are limited to some (relatively) brief nudity and all of one sex scene, which itself is pretty tame.

It fails miserably at being a 'real' film and isn't all that good at being exploitation either.

3/10

Recently a Belgian/Dutch distributor – to whom I'm very grateful – released a series of sleazy Euro-exploitation movies of the early 70's on DVD under the title "So Demented Cinema". Practically all of the films live up to this title, like "Nude for Satan", "The Reincarnation of Isabel" and "The Devil's Nightmare", but Sergio Grieco's "The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine" is actually a bit of an outcast in the series. Because of its classification under the trashy & typically 70's "Nunsploitation" sub genre (and admittedly because of its lurid yet misleading title) it superficially LOOKS like a demented gem, but in reality it's a surprisingly smut-free and primarily story-driven drama with just a handful of nunsploitation trademarks thrown in for good measure. Speaking in terms of filming style and atmosphere "The Sinful Nuns…" is much more reminiscent to Ken Russell's "The Devils" (I believe both films are even loosely inspired by the same novel) and "Flavia, The Heretic", though it's nearly not as great as these two classics. Fellow reviewers appropriately described the plot as a variation on the Romeo & Juliet theme, only set during the Spanish Inquisition and with nuns instead of battling families. In order to prevent her from marrying Esteban, a hateful nobleman subjects his lovely daughter Lucita to a strict life in the convent whilst he simultaneously reports Esteban as a betrayer of Spain. Soldiers of the Inquisition nearly kill Estaban, but that doesn't stop him from infiltrating the convent (with a little help from the understanding caretaker) and contacting his girl. The deceptive Abbess discovers this and develops a fiendish plan to have them both killed in the name of Catholicism and patriotism. The script is far more compelling and involving than your average movie about lesbian nuns worshiping the devil for no reason, but it also has to be said that "The Sinful Nuns…" is rather tame, boring and not at all sinful. Apart from a handful of scenes depicting the physical torture and humiliation of the young heroine, there's very little to see here. The 'immured nuns' finale is somewhat original, but it appears to go on forever and it rapidly becomes (unintentionally) funny. All in all, there are far better Euro-exploitation treasures begging for rediscovery, so don't waste too much time searching for this one.

'The Sinful Nuns Of Saint Valentine' is a mildly entertaining slice of 70s European nunsploitation. While it never reaches the demented heights of my fave the sensational 'Killer Nun' ('Suor Omicidi'), it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

What we have here is basically a cheap cash in on Ken Russell's superior 'The Devils'. The background is the Inquisition, and the basic plot concerns a pair of lovers from feuding families ala Romeo and Juliet. Esteban, accused of heresy and murder, seeks sanctuary after being wounded in the convent where his lover the beautiful Lucita is being held. Lucita's father has forbidden her to marry Esteban and has banished her to this kooky place ruled over by a wicked Abbess. Esteban must try and save Lucita from taking Orders and clear his own name before he is captured and executed. Events get even more complicated when Lucita is arrested for the murder of a fellow nun, and must face the evil Inquisitor.

Sadly there isn't half as much "sin" on screen as you would expect. A whipping, some lesbianism, a few topless shots, that's about it. The actress who plays Lucita (Jenny Tamburi?) is stunningly beautiful which makes this mediocre movie much easier to sit through, but you can't help but be disappointed with this fairly innocuous, and not all that exploitative exploitation movie. Things finally start to heat up with a mass semi-naked nun freak out in the last 15 minutes, but it's too little, too late. Jess Franco doesn't have much to worry about from Sergio Greco. Very average, but worth a look if you don't get your hopes up.

It's another Romeo and Juliet story where two families at loggerheads forbid the lovers to meet, claiming Esteban is a heretic and murderer and an unworthy suitor for beautiful Lucita.

Set upon by soldiers of the Inquisition Esteban scarcely survives as he staggers into a nearby convent where Lucita and the verger dress his wounds and care for him in a secret room.

Esteban and Lucita plan to elope from the convent but their escape is thwarted. Lucita is accused of murdering one of the nuns and her love for Esteban has brought shame and disgrace to the sanctity of the Order. She is to be burned at the stake in the main square of Seville.

One considers that this is drama enough, but the action has scarcely begun.

Because of the terrible sins committed within the old stone walls, the Inquisition demands that all entrances and openings to the convent shall be walled up. When Esteban hears of this he flies into action as any real hero would.

The imprisoned nuns ( I am not sure why) begin to tear off their clothes as they crave for food and water in utter despair. Bare-breasted they roll about on the floor, screaming for water, licking the walls where a few droplets may have appeared. We could be watching Greek drama, but more likely the naked bodies are purposely introduced to add an interesting interlude for male viewers who find watching life as it unfolds in a convent normally rather unexciting.

This is not a great film by any means, but admittedly the setting is different and there is plenty of action..... sword-fights, scaling castle walls, torture chambers, secret passage ways etc. We have the power of the Church versus the innocence of the lovers....an interesting situation which could go either way.

It is worth watching right to the end to find out if this romantic couple suffers the same fate as Romeo and Juliet. We hope not of course, but when the Inquisition interprets the laws of the Church the fate of lovers is never certain.